Monday, April 16, 2007

un poco loco

A message I sent to C at 3:00am, Saturday morning: Ok. Am ducked tri never been to retaled in my kidde and rel twa modu yeah old her?

Which is lank coherent.

Oh buddha oh jesus, oh He of the Sky that Throws Me With Shit The Whole Time. I smashed frigging a twenty-one your old in my face on Friday. I am a paedophile.

Now people cradle snatch. I have been out with men younger than me, I love them young. Love 'em. But I'm sorry – the man was 20, and I'm 26. He's a baby and I'm a fuckin' sugar mommy.

We were at a crazy party for K2 and J's birthday. C and I drank champagne before the event – in fact we drank champagne pretty much the whole weekend. Then I went and sucked face with a juvenile – a young, impressionable and good looking boy – with 'Jesus Is Coming – Look Busy' written across his shirt. Classic.
I've decided not to hate myself too much, so I've giggled more than had loser's complex.

There were some lovely looking dudes at this place, and the tequila was flowing all over the show.
Woke up (alone) and still drunk, wearing only doondies and a bikini top (?) that had shifted right off my noombies, my belt somehow also found its way into my bed, after it fell off my body when I was standing up. It was a crazy evening. Lots and lots of fun though.

We went to the Colony on Saturday. My first Colon outing of the year. Belted out a tune, which sounded like nails across a chalkboard, because the bloody DJ made an announcement at the end: “Thank God that's over. Pheweeee. ”
I've lost my voice. And three of my toes have been numb all weekend. And I'm a paedophile.

But I also did something vaguely useful this weekend: I went on a long cycle Sunday. In the rain, by myself. It was fantastic.

35 comments:

Revolving Credit said...

'Jesus Is Coming – Look Busy'

The guys name was Jesus??????

High in Dubai said...

Holy bejeezus, that sounded like fun... Am not gonna lie - I am a big fan of Champagne!

Good job not doing the whole losers thing - life is like way too short for that kinda psuedo-drama!

ChewTheCud said...

Rev- its pronounced "Hey-soos" ;P

I think I might need a doondie dictionary after this one....

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - ..pronounced 'Hayzoos'

High in Dubai - You missed a car-razee one my friend. Yip, if I start having loser's, I'm not going to be able to think straight today. So I'm giggling. Lots! :)

kyknoord said...

You're okay on the sugar mommy score. Technically you have to have money to classify as one of those.

Peas on Toast said...

Chews - you read my mind :)

Kyknoord - Touche. ;)

Betenoir said...

cradle snatching is totally the new black. Don't think of it as paedo, think of it as Demi - glamour.

Revolving Credit said...

So how many times did you cry out 'Oh my God' on Sat??

What does that sounds like in Yak?

I see that you're getting quite proficient in writing in Yak as well!

ChewTheCud said...

Rev- you see the last post on friday? I'm almost to scared to look again.

Peas - i can see all your paedo thoughts ;)

Nessers said...

6 years is not bad. The youngest I decided to enjoy myself with was 11 (Count them 11) years younger than myself. he was 19 and I was older (do the maths silently in your head please) hehehe. Nothing wrong with your young lad gabbing young Peas if he is older than the age of concent and if you look at it this way - he is now bragging about you to his mates in a "oh my gold I had this stunning, sexy, older woman having her way with me this weekend" kind of way

Revolving Credit said...

Chews, was that clip of Peas speed dating??

Nessers, dating 6 & 11 year olds is not just morally wrong, it's also illegal??????

Peas, how come you didn't get it on with Hey-Juice??
Did his mom come fetch him from the party too early??

ChewTheCud said...

Rev - It looked like she was calling across the valley to all the younger yaks on the other slopes ;P

Peas on Toast said...

Betenoir - well I had fun! And C confirmed that he's a hottie :)

Rev - after numerous attempts to try and understand my SMS, we decided that when sober, we aren't proficient in Yak :)

Nessers - bless!

Rev - not ready to take men home just yet :(

Revolving Credit said...

So shagging in the parking lot is OK???

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I have never shagged anything in a parking lot before, and never will.

Baze said...

Wow-it was like listening to the real life Roxette on Saturday - couldn't tell the difference at all!

Peas on Toast said...

Hello my little Baze!

This week babe, we're definitely catching up - definitely!
Yip, it was something special wasn't it? ;)

Jam said...

Cradle snatching is cool if you just have one night cradle snatching sessions rather than relationships...
Mmmm...champagne.
Oh hi...! Nice to back again and to see you're doing well.

Peas on Toast said...

Hiya Jamma!
Yip I'm a little ashamed of myself for taking advantage of a young un, but hey!
Glad to see you back again - time for a drink! xx

Champagne Heathen said...

You mean it is wrong to kiss 21 year old guys at our age?? Uh oh. :)

Hey. Y'know what. I love champagne too.

That's all I've got. Slow mode persists. Too much thinking. Fingers now sore from too much typing. Must snooooozzzee.....

Peas on Toast said...

Champers!
Hiya babe - we toasted to you babe :)
How was Mozi, you lucky lady?

Champagne Heathen said...

Like a place I would relocate to in but minutes!! I LOVED it. They had to drag me onto the plane home. I am tanned, fatter, relaxed, back to loving life & people!! Wanna join me back there soon??

We drank good champagne from the bottle, us only in our bikinis, on one of the deserted islands when the sea was bluer than blue, we had just been snorkelling at the reef, and we were getting crispy from the gorgeous sun!

Aaah, and thanks for the cheers!

Peas on Toast said...

Ah wow man, you suck! :) I'm definitely coming next time - Mozi is one of my favourite places on this green Earth.

Don said...

Paedophile! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Don - If only you were 21, chine. Then we'd be in business! :)

Nessers said...

not 6 and evel year olds - read properly woman 6 and 11 year gaps like I said he was 19 not 11 and your gap with young lad was 6 years not that he was 6 years old - you are a jounalist and you read this all wrong? (tut tut)

Nessers said...

Opps my appologies Peas now look who is not reading properly *blush*

please remove my last comment

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - I don't remove comments babe, even if they're not cool.
But yes - I think you would be talking to Rev right, not I. x

storm said...

damn!! i remove myself from the blogging world and from most of joburg and it's inhabitants and it seems like everything's changed!!!! was a bit puzzled at you snogging some random dude at first and then i read a little further back...sorry bout the change babe! sounds as if you're doing ok though!

Peas on Toast said...

Hiya Storm!
Nice to see you back my friend. Yip, things have kind of done a 360 in the last month...it was sad and shitty, but am gradually getting there. This weekend was a good start I suppose.
xx

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Jeanpant thinks that as long as he can tie his own shoelaces and do up his own jean pant, you're in the clear. Just check that the underpant lable doesnt read 13-14 in the future... Uhghem (read uncomfortable cough).

Hoox said...

Oh God I suddenly feel sooo old. Thanks!
I'm going to have to invest in a zimmer soon! Unless I can track down a 20 year old belter for myself. Only as old as the chick you feel? Maybe I can seduce her with the "apple in the pocket" trick!

Peas on Toast said...

Jean pant - you're such a card. :) His jean pant were looking hotttttt if I remember correctly - although I don't remember correctly.

Hoox - apple in the pocket, fuck..now I'm all horny! :)

HooX said...

My work here is done!

Aliss said...

Hi Peas. I linked to your blog through wozafriday; absolutely love it! To make you feel like less of a paedophile . . . a 37 yr old, married friend hooked up with a 21 year old. Now that's hectic on many levels.