Tuesday, April 24, 2007

imagining people naked

So now that I can walk into a room and immediately look at something tasty in the form of a strong and hopefully well-hung male package, I immediately undress it with my eyes.
I'm doing what perverts do to young girls – I imagine steamy [except borderline-legal] scenes in my head.

Like a fat kid to a doughnut, I have once again hit a frustrating level of horniness, fuelled by an overpowering cocktail of libido hormones.

It's been a long time since I saw a man and wondered what he looked like naked.

On impacting my optic membranes towards his upper torso and his bottom, I wondered just how much chest hair he had around the beautifully sized pectorals under his shirt.
I also wondered how much time it would take to pull the constricting piece of cloth off of his body, discard it like an old afghan on the floor, and throw him down on my bed.

And what it would be like to have this person naked, on top of me.
Not to mention what his forearms would look like when he propped me up against a piece of sturdy furniture.
Naked.
Or like how his derriƩre would look from an aerial view. Naked.
Or like how he would look like in the shower, water beading down his body in rivulets, or like how I'd feel when he intensely Direct Eye-Contact Sex Gaze's me during a passionate bout of boofing.
Naked.

All I could think of was seeing him naked. This is both perturbing and distracting. Especially when one is discussing, in ernest, the merits of First World infrastructure in light of public transport in foreign countries, for example.

If this is what is going to pull me back into the circle of happiness again, fine. If I feel like a fifteen year old every time I walk into a room filled with delicious dudes, then wonderful.
But imagining them all naked and sweaty and sexy and ready and...I'll be back. I have some business to take care of.

27 comments:

Michelle said...

I am, unfortunately, very much with you on this one! :-) Hey - it makes meetings interesting...

Peas on Toast said...

Michelle - It's like a drug isn't it?

Jam said...

Ohooohohohohoh.
Now I have visions of MY MAN in my head after that one. Lovely description.

Peas on Toast said...

Hiya Jam
Punish him! :) You lucky lady, punish him!

kyknoord said...

Thanks a whole bunch. I have a meeting shortly with a cluster of quasi-humans that I would much rather NOT picture naked. The very thought that they even theoretically could be naked at some stage makes me feel rather ill.

Billy said...

Any chance you could rustle up a piece like that for us guys quickly? Im struggling to get the visions of naked men out my head.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - Imagine yourself naked my china! And if you get turned on - remember that narcissism is totally the way forward :)

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - well, let's see....take a man, and subtract reason and accountability. In the words of Melvin Udall, ta da! You have a woman :)

Johnny Quarterback said...

it reminds of that film 40 days 40 nights where josh harnett has gone for a couple of weeks without sex and he walks out of that cafe and every women he sees is naked. that really is so true, the longer you go without serious action, the more naked every woman you see becomes regardless of her shape or size. glad it happens to women too.

ps. great to meet you the other night. hopefully you remember my face at not just what you imagined I looked like naked ;-)

Billy said...

Fair comment but im still stuck with pecs the hair and the forearms...

GoDsGiMp said...

It's too early...

Peas on Toast said...

Johnny - the unfortunate thing about Mr Hot Hartnett, is that the poor bugger couldn't even wank in those 40 days. Luckily for me, I can. I really really can :)

Twas great to meet you too, Johnny Q. Now what would you say if I said I can't remember your face but I do happen to clearly remember your, um, rear-end??
Juuuuuuuuust kidding. Sort of. I totally remember your face!
Why haven't you updated your blog in yonks mister?

Billy - ok...big, lucious bouncy boobies and no pectoral chest hair, in fact no hair whatsoever.
Quick: Gisele Bundchen!

Peas on Toast said...

Godsgimp - tell me about it. I'm normally an after-hours person myself :)

GoDsGiMp said...

No seriously, this is quite serious. I'm still trying to get nasty images outta my mind from T reading out loud passages from 'Forbidden Flowers' and now I find she's not the only one with naked-ness on her mind. Is the moon affectign you guys or something.. the tides maybe. The eb and flow.. Is the light from Uranus reaching out to Pluto?

kabintsimbi said...

Mmm, naked...damnit man Peas...now every possible image of a certain someone is naked in my head!

Bugger

Peas on Toast said...

Godsgimp - you mentioned the word Uranus. How am I ever going to get through my 10:30 meeting??

Kab - sorry doll - is there any chance you can call certain someone and ask him to see ya later? ;)

Betenoir said...

it's cool to feel like a fifteen-year-old as long as you aren't feeling a fifteen-year-old at the time.

GoDsGiMp said...

David Hasselhoff on a cold day
David Hasselhoff on a cold day
David Hasselhoff on a cold day

Peaches said...

You are preaching to the choir Peas!!

Its kind of like the single womens curse... or blessing, depending on how you look at it. I like to think of it as a blessing, a pleasant daytime distraction from the mundane!

Da Mario said...

Don't loose the feeling. :D

Peas on Toast said...

Betenoir - well I've been privvy to a few fifteen year old pick-ups of late...does that count?

Godsgimp - not working not working not working.
:)

Peaches - hey, as long as I'm not weeping right? :)

Da Mario - I think it may be here to stay - at least until I get laid. :)

muddlepuddle said...

amandla! awethu!

power to the pussy of peas!!

hahahah!

ooops...sorry

Peas on Toast said...

Muddle - oooooh I love it when you talk dirty! :)

My cookie's on fire!

muddlepuddle said...

BWAHAHAHA!

It's on fire?!!?!

I dont think i had much to do with that tho!

Peas on Toast said...

Muddle - I only envision this state to get worse. And if it doesn't scare me enough already - imagine the poor hot sods out there?

muddlepuddle said...

lucky fucking fella's if u ask me peasypoo

kudekude said...

your blog is just so good....i learn alot from it.... english inclusive as well.