Monday, April 23, 2007

sunday hottie

The weekend started like most, ending quite pleasantly unexpectedly. Friday kicked off at Turtle Creek for C2, ending at the fudging Mandog for a little tailfeather shaking thereof. Decided I didn't want to snog anything, did some parlez-vousing with another French person, and three people tried to pick me up just based on my footwear.

Decided 'fuck it'. Hate Manhattan's, 'I'm leaving.' Well. On the way to the parking lot:

Random dude: Hello!

Peas: Um, hello.
Random: You from Joburg?
Peas: Yes, I suppose so.[Walking faster]
Random: You're amazing.
Peas: What the fuck? Dude go home. [Walking at ample speed, heels permitting]
Random: Can I ask you just one thing?
Peas: Fine, whatever. What?
Random: Will you do dinner with me?
Peas: No. Sorry. [Wonders why some random oke would ask a woman for dinner at 3:00am ]
Random: I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm a nice guy, you're a hot girl, I know it would work.
Peas: How old are you? Because I'm 26. You are clearly 17. I don't understand why I'm picking up teenagers these days, but even if you were my age, no. I'm a fuck up, I'll ruin your life somehow. Walk away, dude, walk away.
Random: I'm actually 25 thank you very much.
Peas: Not likely. But even if you were, no. Good night.
Random: Wait! How about lunch. Less hectic, next week. Come on!
Reas: Nope, sorry. Bye bye now.
Random: Stop. Here's my business card. SMS me. No pressure. Just lunch. What's your name anyway?
Peas: It's Peas. Listen dude: I'm doing you a favour here: no. You're sweet and persistent; but I'm a bitch and not available. It's just not gonna happen. Thanks. Now goodbye.
Random: [stuffs card into my hand]. SMS me.
Peas: Sure thing...[looks at card]...Mike. Whatever.

Luckily, just for one day – God gave me a break. For just a day. I think.
I was invited to a potjie-digs-do thingiemajigie yesterday. By a guy who has the same name as my domestic vermin.

Now, I was skeptical. I grabbed a bottle of pinotage and met him and my matchmaking boss at a house. I've been in touch with this individual through random emailing and a phonecall (Crusoe gives my number out willy nilly it seems), but as I walked in, suddenly yesterday...all my troubles ....seemed so far away.

He was lovely, and had the most fantastically sexy forearms I've seen before. (Forearms turn me on) Not to mention a lovely face and an exceptional bottom. And he cycles, he's a cyclist! So, he was really quite...delicious.
We drank a lot of red wine and stuff. Now I may never hear from him again, I'm kind of expecting not to – but luckily, I'm cynical and fucked up enough to be happy if that's the way it turns out. It was just nice to find someone attractive again, someone demure and random (yay! He's not in my circle of friends, so no accidental awkwardness!)
So whatever the drill – yesterday I managed to a) actually smile and crack a laugh or two b) not cry, c) have a lovely afternoon with a hot individual.
Please let's bear in mind that I have a cold sore under my nose, so just based on that, I don't expect him to phone me again. I mean, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

PS: I hate drinking red wine. Because after two glasses of said liquid, my mouth goes all....dark like Dracula-like. I spent two sessions in the water closet, gargling with water and rubbing my lips so that it didn't look like I'd been sucking the sanguine out of someone's jugular.

Right. And so, hoping for a better week -and because Sunday is officially the first day of the week (according to some fuckwit – who? anyway?), it's been a nice start. Even like, if I never hear from him again for as long as I live. I'm not ready to fuck up my life again by pining over something that doesn't pine over me, so like, whatever, really.

Those forearms though...


kyknoord said...

Sexy four arms? Must be something in the water - oh wait, forearms. This is so embarassing. Just like that whole "gym" incident.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk -well look....he did have three legs....

boldly benny said...

Sounds like a damn good way to end off a weekend!

Peas on Toast said...

Boldly - I went to bed horny. I almost forgot what that was like.

MeeA said...

Nevermind the fuckwit who decided that Sunday is the first day of the week. I've got a baseball bat that's dying to connect with the knees of the fucker who decided to believe him. Dragging myself into the office on a Sunday morning is always the worst part of the week...

Glad your weekend didn't suck balls. Hope the next one is even better.

Peas on Toast said...

meea - you had to work yesterday morning? Oh my god - ok, that's seriously crappola. I'll baseball bat him for you!

I are wearing the jean pant said...

So, if he are a cyclist, he must be wearing the stywe skee-pant from time to time, right?

Katie Possum said...

even worse than wine lips - wine teeth. This is not a problem I suffer from, but how gross is it!


Peas on Toast said...

jean pant - like a crusader, bru. The one wiff the lekker arse padding in the back...:)

Katie - oh cripes. That's why I went and did some tooth surveyance every half an hour - dreadful!

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Oh dear... I are not thinking those are very sexy, unless... Do they come in a snowjean-pant colour? At least you still haves the arms.

Antoine said...

Cute Ass - I understand

Cute legs - I undertstand

but cute forearms causing Hawny thorts in the evening........

*sage look at own forearms*

Peas on Toast said...

Jean pant - as long as he doesn't prance around in them in nightclubs (this applies to all cyclists), I don't mind :)

Antoine - don't be sage.Forearms are a huge turn on, if they're nice that is :)

kabintsimbi said...

Oh my...I love forearms! Them & a damn! Totally with you on that one...god, they must have been yummy.

Um, about that prayer for the dark, handsome know, the one you made to God...must have worked if you met a hottie (times 2) & I ended up in the arms of my ex slash complication slash best friend slash the one.

Please pray some more...pray for good things...please pretty please Peas!

Leigh-Anne said...


I reckon you should give Mike a chance...

Takes a lot of courage to ask a hot woman out, and not to take no for an answer...

Not everyday you meet a guy like that...

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - yay! Someone who understands the forearm infatuation! :) Good luck with everything my freind. x

Leigh-Anne - I know. Ten out of ten for persistence. It's just....he looked about 17, honestly. I'd feel like a criminal just thinking about it!