Monday, April 09, 2007

inconspicuous easter

First I was like 'fuck the easter bunny,' and 'fuck the fact that everyone has family members around to eat chocolate with' and 'fuck the whole affair altogether.'
Easter, this year, was a serious non-event for me.
At least until about 11:00am.

The Ant and I chilled some champagne, bought a joint the size of a toilet roll, and had a merry little picnic together at Emmarentia Dam.
We got stoned in the rose garden. Amongst a species know as 'Rhapsody In Blue', which, even though it's a botanical garden, one has to wonder why people make blue roses.

After being getting sufficiently giggly and tanked on champgane, we headed to the video store and hired a horror movie. E2 told me just yesterday never to watch 'The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, as it is the scariest shit she's ever seen.
And as a result never looks at the clock when she wakes in the middle of the night.
Watch it, you'll see why.

I wanted a thrill to distract me. The dull throb I've been feeling for the last three weeks is only exacerbated by a day of families, lovers (trying to shag under the tree not too far from us), and God - all three I have not been in contact with for a while, barring my mother and irate father on the telephone.
Easter. I've had cool shit to do until this Easter, exotic shit - like holidaying in Zanzibar, easter egg hunts in the Kruger Park, or like, flying to Plett for four days.

So. A horror movie – warranting screaming and paranoia – seemed like just the thing after a bright 'n cheery little picnic in a blue rose garden.
“We want something scary to watch, can you recommend anything?”
Video lady: Um..anything specific?
“Well no, just no aliens or slasher scenes. Ghosts and the supernatural. We want to be scared to distraction.”
She suggested the film, and for the rest of the afternoon we had a ball screaming and getting the shit freaked out of us.

My father:
“Everyone is eccentric. Except me”
Peas: Classic. Why would you think that Dad, even for five and a half seconds?
Dad: Because people take holidays over Easter.
Peas: Yes...that's because it's a long weekend. It kind of makes sense.
Dad: The stupid bastards are sitting in traffic below my window (Cape peninsula), they are eccentric Peas, eccentric - what stupid asshole goes on holidays over Easter?
Peas: Well had I got my act together, I'd be on holiday too.
Dad: You're mad. Mad. Must be your mother's genes.
Peas: Must be.

Happy Easter to everyone, hope it turned out as pleasant as mine.


Maxine said...

Happy Happy Easter eggs Pea-pod...sounds more eventful then most...ate a life size Lindt chocolate bunnie and nearly vomited...glad its over...bring on Christmas!

redsaid said...

At least the Easter Bunny brought YOU a zol! The only thing I got? Being stuck in a beach house with three screaming kids... and they weren't even relatives, so I couldn't kill 'em, even though I was sorely tempted.

Talk about a bad Good Friday!

Bloody bunny.

acidicice said...

Happy Easter Peas!

Antoine said...

Hoppy Bunny day Peas..

The only problem with having a bit of the green stuff on a choccie day is if the munchies do hit, your choccie limit gets exceeded fourfold.

As for the old man...

He is so so right. The lemming rush over easter is a chuckle.

Keep the head up!

Peas on Toast said...

Maxine - happy happy to you too sweetie, I ate a Cadbury's bar and also will be glad to see the end of it all :)

Redsaid - and you couldn't kill them? Bugger. :)

Antoine - you would be right. :)

Acidic - and to you too doll!

Peas on Toast said...

PS: E2, if you reading this: I didn't sleep a WINK last night. I thought Satan was in my room, and I was terrified.

HooX said...

Blue roses Peas? What was in that footlong joint and how long had you been smoking it before you went for a jolly in the flowerbed?
Your weekend sounds great. My only highlight was getting leathered on Albanian style JagerBombs and 1 litre pints of import lager. Aparently we had a late sit down dinner in a fancy restaurant but Im not in a position to comment on that. I hope I behaved.

Satan said...

I wassss, Peasss.

John Doe said...

Well I was one of those lemmings and to be honest, it wasn't that bad. 5 1/2 hours for a trip that normally takes 5 hours. That was mainly because of Sir Lowry's path though. However, my flat mate spent 10 hours in traffic over easter last year :P.

DaveRich said...

Yup yup, Happy Easter to you too. I was stuck in Melville, at work. Had the rest of the weekend off though. No one in Joburg felt like eating Thai food either so it was dead.

Peas on Toast said...

Hoox - getting leathered - I like it, I do! Can that word also apply to getting laid?

Satan - well hello there Satan. You kept me awake the whole night last night, and quite frankly, I don't need that sort of shit right now. So if you could just migrate to Mrs Goldberg's apartment upstairs, that would be swell.

John - Yip, I agree - I wish I had gone on holiday, and the long trip isn't what one remembers anyway.

Peas on Toast said...

Daverich - I walked past your restaurant about a half hour ago, bless :)

Satan said...

Sssssssssorry Peasssssss. No can do with Mrsssss Golberg. Jewsssss don't believe in me.

Peas on Toast said...

Satan - for an awfully powerful have an interesting lisssssp. Tell me about it please.

HooX said...

Peas, if I could have used "leathered©" meaning "laid" then that certainly would have been a highlight worth remembering.
Please feel free to drop it into any sentence you desire and attach any meaning you prefer. Copyright© lifted. Use it wisely.

Satan said...

Ssssorry...oh screw it. It's just for show. I really try to be myself, but people expect things, you know?

Thank you for recognising my power. A lot of other people take credit for my work. Noot vir noot? That was me. Ruda Landman being famous? Not without a little help, if you get my drift. And when I finally sign that deal with Thabo Mbeki, watch what happens to the exchange rate.

DaveRich said...

Hahaha! I had just got to work and was having a smoke and a cuppa coffee when I saw two young ladies outside the window buying some green tea from the wire selling dudes?? So that was you...hahaha! Just saw some blog award photos and recognised you.

Peas on Toast said...

Hoox - lol, thanks guy!

Satan - Yip you've made some pretty fucked up shit out there. I realise it's your job though.

Daveriche - never!