Double Napover. One Person.
Pole dancing on.
Jaegermeister. Tequila. Nice.
Colony. Cane. I Want To Punch Someone.
Male doondies. With cuppage. And hole in backside. Wearing. Me.
I fucking need you now tonight, I fucking need you more than ever. Karaoke. Colony.
Friend: “You always go for cocky, skinny guys.”
Question: Why are all cocky guys skinny? Why are all skinny guys cocky?
Chav talk finally gets me into trouble: “Your muvva works in a MacDonald's.” (This is my mother, and she's pleased to meet you too.) “Oh. I didn't mean that you specifically, worked there, Paul's mother.” (Well shut up then.)
Sleep. Deprived. Depraved. Result. Of.
Tea. Crumpets. Joburg Country Club. Falling Asleep On Couch. Dribble on chin.
Family. Reunion. French side. Parlez-vousing. French cousins. Josette, Claude, Jean-Pierre, Helene, Not Coping. Falling Asleep. While eating Creole Curry.
Tumble down stairs. Thanks to killer heels. Holding a brie cheese. Which. Just remembered, have left in my car. And has been there now for 48 hours.