Friday, May 04, 2007

why life doesn't suck donkey dick right now

1) Yesterday me and another blogger conducted a little experiment.
He posted his post onto my blog, and I posted onto his. A couple of people noticed a difference. We swapped. The comments were interesting from both sides. There were one or two people, who despite saying they hate my blog, happened to 'love' his post. I enjoyed that. Immensely.

2) My dearest friend Doc is discarding his turban and caftan in India, and is coming back to Jozi for a week. I'm so excited I could literally pooh. Although girls don't pooh, but whatever. He takes his clothes off after a few toots, for everyone's benefit. Looking forward to spending some time with the Docmeister.

3)I'm off to the Free State oasis of Viljoenskroon this afternoon for some debaucherous weekend boozing on C's farm. There will be no groping behind the Massey Ferguson's thereof, nor will there be a roll in the hay, of literal terms. Passing out on the front lawn after straight caning Cape to Rehab from the bar taps will be optional, however.

4)Crusoe barking eloquently down the phone yesterday: “I don't care how many trees you have to plant okay. Just plant 'em. I don't really want to see your maid take a shit anymore.”

5)A new term: BOBFOC. A term used for someone who is neither a cougar, a MILF, or a smokin' hot motherfucker. A BOBFOC is a Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch.

6)I don't wear paisley

7)My step dad yesterday to my mum, “Mrs Peas, what part of “don't read Peas' blog don't you understand?”

8)It's the weekend, and I'm going to show it who's boss.

36 comments:

Jam said...

I really didn't think you sounded quite like yourself yesterday...! LOL. Loved the experiment.
And I think that you proved a point very well. You still got flamed a bit, but it wasn't even you that was being flamed. LOL.
Best you drown all of this in your weekend and come back remembering what a kickass chick you actually are. Because you are.
xxx

ChewTheCud said...

If you watched it carefully, you'd see Mona was the real boss...

;P

Crusoe said...

CTC - wahahahaha - that's so old school!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - you were one of the first people to notice - love you for that! :)

Thanks angelface, I will definitely drown all in my weekend, what better way to end off a bumpy week eh?
xxx

Chew - LOL!

Crusoe - I'm sitting at Nino's Rosebank using their wireless network. I have to go to MTN's HQ today to sort out this data card shite.

Jam said...

Please drink a cup of decent coffee for me. None here.

Kevin Cadman said...

I must say... I thought your post yesterday was AMAZING!

Have an awesome weekend babe.

Champagne Heathen said...

It was the part about Alsatian sex yesterday that threw me.

(Agh, gotta stop avoiding work. Gotta go. While you're in the area, PLEASE also go & have a double cafe latte from Vida for me!!)

hot pink flush said...

Hey Peas.
Shows you how much attention I've been paying. I didn't even notice yesterday!
two questions:
why do you never wear paisley? i find a hint of the swirl can complete an outfit nicely (kidding!)
and
why would you stepdad even be asking about your blog?
X

duke said...

Re 5: Also known as a Butterface.

As in "Nice body, but her face..."

Da Mario said...

Funny.

I kinda read your blog because you write it. Now you don't. Then you do.

Oh well.

Enjoy your weekend!

Revolving Credit said...

OK, me still confused!

**attempting to leech as much caffeine as possible out of coffee cup***

So some other blogger guy friend posted his post on your blog yesterday.

So he also does the Jolly.

He's also feeling quite horny.

He's gay and had a greasy italian come on to him.

???WTF????

Revolving Credit said...

Shit, is Kevin into Italian men???

maurice said...

Horny girl writes blog. So inthralling. I mean come on. All made beleive. What you going to write your book on- same crap. Hope you sell more than 11 copys. Altough I might buy one.

I are wearing the jean pant said...

I are thinking Maurice has his jean pant on a little too tight.

Suavé said...

What's crackin Peasypoo!!! I dont got shit to say, cept that you still crack me the fuck up. I can always count on you to make my day.

PS - The Sunday mag, whoa dude! Phucken great!

100
That Suave Guy

Jam said...

Maurice dear. Please learn to type so we can understand what you're trying to say. Because I don't understand what you're trying to say. Or why. Don't you hate being pointless?

Jam said...

Hi Suave!
Nice to read you!

Anonymous said...

Maurice, for someone who doesn't like this blog, you read it quite a lot. Now bug off and go back to reading your picture books.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - I think I drank an entire franchise of Seattle Coffee this morning....business proving exhausting.

Kev - thanks big guy. Liked yours too!

Rev...but then, I did get laid by a chick with red underdoondies from the Bluff in the back of a Megane...

Maurice - hey big guy! Wow, so nice to see you hear again, welcome, welcome! I have a little present for you, because I just lurve the name Maureeeece. Now bend over...that's right....drop your jean pant...there you go...see this? It's my pink dildo? And I'm shoving it up your doetpipe!
Does that feel good? Thought so :)

Jeanpant - ...not as tight as his ass it seems. Struggling to wedge the fake penis up it.

Suave - hello my gorgeous gorgeous Capetonian man! God it's great to have you back! Lock and load baby!

Anon - :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Hey Maurice? Maurice? Are you still around? So did you retry MY blog again today? Did you like it? Prefer it? Or was it still drivel? Or have you chosen that it is completely not your taste and so you'd rather not even click there.

Meanwhile, Peas, I do reckon that Maurice is giving you a backhanded compliment - saying that he already intends to buy your book AND that he visited AND commented on your blog again today. Perhaps he is just shy with being nice.

maurice said...

i have a big penis

hot pink flush said...

Oh jeez, guys
See my comment re: Maurice on Champs' post yesterday.
herewegoagain....

Lost-in-Jozi said...

I think Maurice is suffering from penis envy? or something

maurice said...

touche

maurice said...

Actually quite in to that stuff. Plugs and there like.

Revolving Credit said...

Penis Envy?

As in Peas has a whacker that is bigger than Maurice's Penis?

Peas on Toast said...

Maurice - ah. But can you stick your own penis up your own ass?

Try. I'd like to know the results.

Oh and regarding le book - I'll send you a free copy. And hey, cos I'm feeling nice I'll throw in a free dildo as well.

Peas on Toast said...

Hort pink - sorry my babe, realised I'd missed you in the comments roll! Buggeration!

Paisley. Perhaps I've seen too many Woolies tri-pack briefs in my time (Russian red, mustard and paisley are the choice colours in that scenario).

So I avoid the patterned fabric like the plague.

maurice said...

Thank you. Make complemtary dildo a nine and a half inched veined chubby. Matt black colour. Will send adress shortly.

Anonymous said...

Love your blog. Saw a T-shirt at the MyCoke Festival last week and wondered if it meant you. It said: Give Peas a Chance.

Peas on Toast said...

Maurice - I know some people who have one known only as the Midnight Intruder.

Not as big as the Bushwacker, but for your ass, I'm sure it'll work.

Anon - Bless. If you see him again, please ask him to send me the shirt. It has a great ring to it :)

Anonymous said...

Fuck Maurice, please get a spell checker, its painful trying to decode your ramblings. That or fuck off completely. Your call.
Have a cracker weekend folks.
Billy via mobile.

Katie Possum said...

"At 6:18 AM, maurice said…
i have a big penis"

que pasa?*


By the way, I think Peas should get a shirt that says "I know Peas On Toast" - but I have a weird sense of humour...






*translation: what's happening?

nettie said...

that's why I've become addicted to other platforms, I think. Ones that you can friends lock.

Anonymous said...

BOBFOC - I last heard that used over two years ago.

Sorry peas, but get with it.

Peas on Toast said...

I'm guessing you've been with one before?