Thursday, June 21, 2007

mojo

It happened so quickly. Twenty-four hours ago I was checking out his bottom, and in a flash I realised my mojo had finally returned to the building.

I thought it had packed up shop and had deserted me forever. The lesson here is not to push the mojo – it will hit you like a sharp tweak to the nipple when you least expect it to.
(Ooh...a sharp tweak to the nipple....tweak my ni...OK, OK, fuck, focus Peas. Christ.)

Men have largely been pissing me off recently. Either they seem too keen or too nonchalant. This annoyed me no end.
Over the last few weeks, I'd walk into a club filled with supposedly dashing-looking okes and I'd feel nothing. Not even a twinge downstairs, I didn't even like talking to them.

Now all I can think about is how big their nomthondos are.

But it's back, and oh thank God! It's back to the point where I am once again the old me. I'm thinking about boys bottoms, their legs, how it would be to kiss them again and boofing in the very primal sense.
When the mojo returns, suddenly one feels like a sexy bitch again.

I must've thought about shtoinking, oh perhaps 63 times yesterday. And how great it would be when I get rogered again.

There are three types of shtoinks:
The first two are as equally fantastic, dependent on circumstance.
1)the hectic, tear-my-clothes-off-right-now-big-boy-take-me-now-on-this-here-table-top and-fuck-me-hard kind;
2)the slow-foreplay-first-making-(ak)-love-stare-into-my-horny-and-lustful-eyes kind; and
3) the sex with your dildo kind
No prizes for guessing which kind I'm currently getting right now.

But I'm just happy that I am driven to distraction by horny, bad lustful thoughts.
I told him that I was checking out his rear-end. This probably wasn't the best idea, but it turns out it was:
I took him home and he slept over last night. Yes. Mid-week and everything.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont we all lose our Mojo at times, but returns unexpectedly which i hate at times. When you really need it it ain't there.

kyknoord said...

No prizes? Damn!

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - one has to handle Mojo with delicate hands.

Kyk - Aw come on, guess anyway!

Betenoir said...

shtoinking?

that's a new one...

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - you know: I can liking to shtoink you stukkend china.
:)

Revolving Credit said...

So you took him home and he stayed over, but you still getting dildo action??? WTF

Was he too pissed to perfrom or were you just looking for someone to act as car guard for the night???

Peas on Toast said...

Revvie babe. I was going to do a "Before you ask..." especially for you, so here goes:
Before you ask...we spooned. We spooned. It was nice to spoon with someone again, and there was no action involved. ;)

Anonymous said...

I hope she didn't sleep with him, you can't have sex with someone until you're in a serious committed relationship, preferably after 8 months I would say, otherwise its just slutty, what happened to peoples morals today??? PEOPLE KEEP YOUR FRICKEN PANTS ON AND HAVE SOME PRIDE AND DIGNITY AND ONLY HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE SPECIAL.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - slutty? Well. That's just ridoculously old fashioned.
And no, 'she' didn't sleep with him.
And maybe 8 months is fine for you, but judging people that sleep with people is also no good use around here.

I only sleep with people when I'm in a committed relationship, personally. But a lot of people don't adhere to this. So don't be judging now.

Revolving Credit said...

Spooned hey! So which was it??
a) Too drunk
b) Too gay

Peas on Toast said...

a) A perfect gentleman
b) Who listened to me when I said 'spooning only'

Revolving Credit said...

Anon - You aren't getting any, are you??\

We're all sexual beings, so consciously denying yourself you extended periods of time for no good reason other than pride is not dignified, it's masochistic...but then, if you're into masochism, rather have them just whip you.

Revolving Credit said...

Ok them, it sounds like
b) Too gay!

Too bad, beter luck next time!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev stop being nasty. He's not gay.

You're being particularly feisty today. Let's turn this around: You get some loving last night bru?

Revolving Credit said...

Plenty!!

Uhh..question to me or anon??

R U telling me that some guy curled up with a woman who hasn't had it in a while, thought about doing it 63 times yesterday and is currently driven to distraction by horny, bad lustful thoughts, who while spooning, stuck her hot ass right up close and personal into his crotch area and his reaction was..'Lets talk'..wtf..like no woody back there trying to hammer it's way out and accost you.

Sorry...smells gay, possibly asexual, to me!!

Peas on Toast said...

LOL.
Oh my god, well when you put it like that :)

Fuck you make me laugh. I'm not syaing the thoughts weren't there - and maybe yeah, different circumstances I would've taken note of his nomthondo in my lower back region.

But since he is reading this...and he is, so say hi Rev....I remain mum and am now blushing and getting all horny again.

At work. Can't even beat one out. Bummer.

Revolving Credit said...

What does your fiance think about this situation???

R U going to have to give the ring back?

Revolving Credit said...

Hi Rev!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - What's wrong with a guy who gives a woman what she wants? Even if she asks for just spoonage?

:)

Anyway, no FF has my back with this one. He gave me a thumbs up. :)

Revolving Credit said...

"What's wrong with a guy who gives a woman what she wants"

Thats fine if it's in synch with what he wants...but I note of caution.

If he gives in all the time, he may be a wuss and that will ultimately turn you off.

Alternatively, he's saving up his credits for the one really big thing he wants...and as they say, payback can be a bitch.

So ask him for a purple Porsche and see what happens!

Megan said...

No ways! I'm amazed! This is just too much to handle! Far too good to be true. What a super birthday present - nothing like a snog, a spoon and some blogspot scandal to make a man feel like a king!

Peas on Toast said...

Nah, he's not a walkover. :)

Meg - hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Touche. Does the whole of Rhodes know already? God, it's hard to keep a secret these days!

Megan said...

Miss madam, you're in luck, most Rhodents are currently re-dispersed to their respective home towns across the country. It is, however, the lucky few with a direct hotline to the a aforementioned 'king' that you need to worry about. Just kidding - way to go girl!

Peas on Toast said...

Phew, well that's a relief. The last time I spoke about Rhodes I got into a whole lot of trouble :)

Hi 'The King' :)

Revolving Credit said...

Hiking....lol

Take a walk on the not so wild side.

king said...

i had my way and no fucking porsche

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Conversation in my office right now: (cos I'm giggling so much and can't stop)

Lady: Did she get laid last night or something?
Boss: Probably.

Peas on Toast said...

King - ha ha ha, I'd really prefer the Audi A3 though. :)

king said...

what colour would you like?

Revolving Credit said...

king "what colour would you like"

Are you refering to the audi or...shit Peas, do I turn left of right for the office, these passages are confusing.

I just had a vision: there we had Peas & King (hereafter collectively referred to as Peking), spooning and chatting.

All the while, all that Peas can think is..

King me, King me!!

Ok, your move...ROFL

Peas on Toast said...

Red please.
Hope it's not too much hassle. I almost feel bad because we only spooned last night!
:)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - HAHAHAH, Peking!
Watcha think King?

We are now spooning in the capital of old China.

Revolving Credit said...

What ya thinKing???

Well as long as you aren't faKing, but truly achKing sounds like you garden patch is in for some raKing!

Peas on Toast said...

I'm laughKing.

Ok that didn't work. I'm giggling too hard.

Revolving Credit said...

You're beating one out in the office, aren't you?

Megan said...

I's such a trend setter...

Peas on Toast said...

Right here on my desk.

Megan said...

In fact, come to think of it. In light of certain relevant last names, the name Oh-Pea! may be more pertinent, in the very near future, for our dear King.

Revolving Credit said...

Was that a name or a moan..Oh-Pea?

Peas on Toast said...

O-Pea?? Giggle!

Megan said...

I think I'm so witty today, it's frightening!

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds a bit like a nervous bladder if you ask me!

Peas on Toast said...

Megan - dude,I take my hat off to you. You're right up there with Rev!

Rev - if only you knew doll. If only you knew. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Did ya piss yourself giggling??

So last nite you spooned, when do you get to fork or do you first plan on a bit of ladling or maybe first getting a bit tong-tied

I reckon that Kingston must think you're quite a dish, you must have really bowled him over.

OK lets stop the corny shit, I'm starting to irritate myself.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev you're special bru. You're a gas my dear. :)

Revolving Credit said...

So r u gonna jump him tonight or what?

He's now read on your blog that you're gagging for it.

Lets see how the next sleepover play out!

Nathalie said...

Hey Peas-i was from Rhodes.And i can almost guarantee you (Rev u'l like this) that if you've once been a Rhodent you'll always be one.And with that said...I'll add:There's no such thing as spooning when ur a rhodent unless of course ur spooning the bar counter at the Rat!Ahhh...good times!