Friday, August 10, 2007

women's day, baggage & happiness

I had beautifully chilled Women's Day with Mr 747. We drove out to Irene, ambled around the Jan Smuts museum, and had a nice, slow lunch over wine at the dairy. What a peach of a day.

Let me talk about baggage – the Big Bad B – for a sec.

This horrible little emotional vestibule can fuck up anything going forward. I believe baggage has had a small part in fucking up my previous relationships. But used responsibly, as a guide rather than an obstacle, one can move forward without taking too many suitcases along the way.

I know what I want and deserve now, after attempted tries. I have in no way been lucky in love. But instead of fighting this, and imagining another failure, I've decided this time round, I'm going to accept the cards I have been dealt. And proceed only with hope that this time, I may get lucky.

I know a few things now. Where my insecurities lie, what makes me tick, and what I believe I deserve. Mr 747 and I just click – it's so easy. Wow, things actually don't have to be a battle. This one seems a bit different somehow, and we've spent a lot of time together in the last few weeks. I'd love to write about my new dude more, but I won't babble on and on - not on this here blog.

I still have baggage, or perhaps, less derogatorily, experience. But I've decided not to let it jade me, to the point of cynical distraction this time. If it doesn't work longterm, well, then, well shit, I'll be sad. However, I don't want to preempt a doomsday because my baggage tells me I should expect to.

As a result, I'm not scared this time. I'm not actually terrified, like before. In fact, I'm extraordinarily chilled. If it doesn't last, well, hell, I've been down this path before (over and over), it's old hat - so what is there to be terrified of really?

That said, I know what I want. And there're some things I won't compromise on. But I think those things are justifiable, not unreasonable. Here's to keeping my baggage in check and...hoping for the best.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

"emotional vestibule"?

A vestibule is a large entrance or reception room, or a bodily cavity. Which one are we talking about here?

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - Yeah, I know dude. Or 'cavern' or 'space'. Trying to be metaphorical.

Anonymous said...

I see. Try harder.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - why? For you?

I don't need 'try harder' on my blog for anybody, assface.

Anonymous said...

Hey Peas, first time commentbut have been reading your blog for a long time. Seems anonymous is trying hard to be an ass. Enjoy Mr 747 you deserve it.

The Edge

Peas on Toast said...

The Edge - thanks my dear! I appreciate muchos :)

guppa said...

wiser by the day, peasie poo. Boeing 747 dude sounds like a legend ...mile high club yet?
nice post.you're a legend.

Peas on Toast said...

Guppa - no mile high club yet :) Thanks my friend. You're a little legend too. I miss you! x

Chloe said...

Hey Peas

They mentioned you and your book in The Citizan today, in the opinion column. Just thought I would let you know - considering my job now entails reading all the newspapers every morning.

Cheers
Chloe

Peas on Toast said...

Chloe - oh wow, seriously?? Thanks so much for the head's up, had no idea!

xx

Revolving Credit said...

"..one can move forward without taking too many suitcases along the way."

I know why you're feeling so chilled!
You took your 'too many suitcases' and drank them, didn't you?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - ha ha ha, I thought about that too! It's entirely plausible, sure!
:)

So no long weekend for you either Revvie?

Mike said...

Awareness.

That is great. This 747 chum sounds like he could fly you to the moon, let you play among the stars. Something something something, Jupiter and Mars.

Revolving Credit said...

Worse, I'm probably gonna have to work the weekend..fuuuck!

Struggling to be/stay motivated now Friday after a mid-week break, not sure how I'm gonna handle trying to work on Sat or Sun.

So tell me, this chick Irene, was she cute?

Wait, hold on, at Irene's spot, the dairy sells wine???

Gotta get me one of those cows they use!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Mike - ha ha, love Frankie. Got to listen to a bit of Frankie today methinks :)

Rev - Irene is hotttt. Not only does she have lots of uddery cows, she sells wine AND beer.

Sorry to hear about the weekend full of work - are you allowed to intersperse the work periods with whiskey?

Leigh-Anne said...

Morning everyone!

Can't find any mention of Peas in the Citizen online? Am I not looking properly?

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - good morning sunshine! I just bought a paper now, not sure if it's online - it's an opinion piece for Women's Day - on women in blogging. Bless - page 13.

Leigh-Anne said...

http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=45336,1,22

Peas is an anonymous blogger ( http://mushypeasontoast.blogspot.com) whose writing, albeit somewhat riské, is always very entertaining. Peas enjoys an almost cultish following.

Are they calling your loyal devotees a cult?

Nasty, nasty Mike Stopforth!

Revolving Credit said...

Hey Peazel

I see that Mike called you a geek!
Does that now mean that you'll tbe turned on by yourself?

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - hahah, nah I think Mike meant that in a nice way! :)

Cult, hmmmmm, perhaps I could....brainwash all of you....evil cackle :)

Revvie - being called a geek is the best compliment I've heard all day! :)

Revolving Credit said...

Be careful with the cult thing.

You may be encroaching on the domain of Kyk and his Accolites of Cayennetology.

Nessers said...

Good luck to you young Peas. It's always really cool when you just click - I had that it really is the best. Hope you have lots of fun with each other

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - yeah, can't step on Kyk's toes. Besides, his is way more plausible than mine. :)

Nessers - thanks doll. It's been great thus far, and am very happy :)

ThomG said...

Right on, Peas. Just check your baggage; maybe Emotional Airlines will lose it.

thing said...

Wow, what a mature and beauitfully thought through concept. Your emotional intelligence is really admirable. I wish most of the world could absorb it via osmosis.

Peas on Toast said...

ThmG - maybe they just might - I'd be lucky :)

Thing - wow thanks! I've tried hard to sift through my shit, and am hoping that I have at least matured somewhat after the last few relationships. :)

Fatoumatta said...

good to knw u had a good WD unlike some of us...wish u all the best,u deserve it!!
xoxo

Peas on Toast said...

Fatoumatta - Thanks babe. I'm sorry to hear your WD wasn't all that. :(