Thursday, September 13, 2007

subliminal is pants

The Dove and I spoke about subliminal messages over lunch yesterday.
In the 1950s, during the Golden Age of movie-making, Americans were subjected to subliminal advertising, whereby the word 'POPCORN' would pop up onto the screen, just somma, in the middle of the movie.
Do subliminal messages work? Perhaps if you really make a point of doing it:

Dove: Would you popcorn like a popcorn cup of tea?

Peas: Beg pardon?

Dove: I said, would you pop popping popcorn a cup of popping tea, slapper?

Peas: I get that you want popcorn, but surely bombarding me with Taurettes-sounding ticks that ever-so-clearly convey the word 'popcorn' is unnecessary. All you actually have to say is, “I'd like some popcorn.”

Dove: So you mean to popcorn say that this message popcorn popcorn is not working, popcorn?

Peas: It's oracular bombardment.

Dove: Do you popcorn suggest I post popcorn Sticky Notes around your popcorn lounge advertising my popcorn insatiable appetite for popped kernels instead?

Peas: No. That's bombardment via Sticky Note.

Dove: How about I popcorn write a popcorn feature on popcorn and ask you to popcorn edit it? Or better – read through it and ask you every five seconds what you think? “There once was a girl who craved popcorn to the extent that she wanted to vomit.” Then I'd say, “What do you think?”

Peas: I have an idea. Let's go to Kung Fu Kitchen for some Chicken Foo Yong.

Dove: Popcorn fucking popcorn my god popcorn.

Where did this all come from? I have learnt one has to ask for things when one wants them. Straight up. No bullshit. I want an Audi A3. I want to be loved. I want to have zero new wrinkles when I turn 27 tomorrow. (Holy Jesus. 27. I'm going to cry.)

If I went to the Audi car dealership and said, “Hi there, Audi A3 want, isn't this a nice window display you have, Audi A3 mine? Vorsprung durch tecknik, Audi mine?” Do you think they'll give me a demo model? No.

20 comments:

Sweetass RSA said...

you cow! you're only 26/27!!!!????? mwhahahah...i'm 35 going on 36!!!...(*hysterical crying*)...count your blessings sister!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEEAAAAAAAAR OH-OLD-ONNNNNNNNNNNE, HAPPY BIRHDAY TO YOU!!! seriously...27?

Revolving Credit said...

I don't think they'll give you an Audi, though they may be willing to give you a straightjack !!

Peas on Toast said...

Sweetass - a cow? Now now, easy petal. :)
Yiperoo, tomorrow I'll be 27. Can't wait. Not :)
But 35/36 - by the looks of things, you still have a sweet ass right?

Rev - I straightjacket can't sraightjacket drive an A3 when my arms have been stapled to my straightjacket waist.

Revolving Credit said...

So Peas tequila, what are you salt planning to do tequila for your birthday??

Are you going to lemon have a wild tequila party tequila or are salt you just lemon having a quieter tequila time lemon with Mr 747 and a few tequila friends?

Don't jagerbomb you find that john deere your tabledance propensity to maintain karaoke a good party tequila changes as you're now soapdispenser getting older??

Sweetass RSA said...

i still have some sort of ass, let's leave it at that...just playing with you, you are not a cow...promise!

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, if you're a cow, when last did someone milk you??

If you're not milked often enough you will become hugely uncomfortable as the pressure builds.

Any experienced milkers out there who have good technique to gently, yet firmly both caress and squeeze Peas's udders so as to get the cow juice flowing and relieve the pressure that she is feeling???

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I'm planning to tequila myself tequiled. This old bird still has some tequila life in her yet. :)

Sweetass - yeah I know, don't stress :)

Rev - Would anybody bovine my udders bovine?

Revolving Credit said...

Not sure if it helps but I could offer you a Red Bull!

Is that bovine enough for you?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - please pass me a Red Bull. I'm so exhausted you could blindfold me with a shoelace right now.

Revolving Credit said...

Blindfold & Energy

Sounds like a blind date with potential!!


or a kinky tie-me-up-with-shoelaces kinda thing.

Either way, quite intriguing!

Peas on Toast said...

Ask Mr 747 my Revsicle, I'm sure he won't mind :)

Revolving Credit said...

Did or did you not just ask me to hog-tie Mr 747 for you??

Revolving Credit said...

If you get him some handcuffs, he should be able to shackle himself for you!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I'll definitely suggest it to him. Although sadomachism isn't something we've crossed in our young relationship yet.

Maybe we can start of gently - a gentle spanking, if you will.

neolithic said...

so peas did u eventually get him the popcorn??

Revolving Credit said...

Who's tequila spanking whom in this fantasy of yours???

Peas on Toast said...

neolithic - Don't think Dove ever got her popcorn, poor woman. Next time :)

Revvie - My fantasy of spankation involves a vat of jelly, a whip and Alicia Keyes.

Revolving Credit said...

So you want Mr 747 to dress up as Alicia Keyes??]

Good luck

Peas on Toast said...

Wahahaha - maybe if I throw a bottle of Jaeger down his throat? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Maybe if you down a bomb of jager he will start to look like Alicia Keyes...drink him pretty!!!