Monday, October 22, 2007

rugga stuff

Well I am interested and excited about rugby for perhaps the first time ever. Three days before the World Cup I started to get this very unfamiliar feeling.

Sport thoughts.

Getting excited, learning the coach's name, what the H-posts are for, and stuff. Kidding, but you know what I mean. E2 had her birthday party on the day and turned it into a lavish rugga fest. I was most impressed, because like me, she's one of the least sport-interested friends I have. A rugby World Cup cake, two TVs in and outside her house...and not to mention an extravagant dress up opportunity.

I wore a green top and the gold lamé tablecloth that drapes over a table in the lounge. Gold lamé fabric has never been more versatile. It's been a gold toga, a tablecloth and like on Saturday, a pencil skirt, a mini skirt, an 80s meringue and a nappy.
And to win!

People were all...Bok jerseys and vuvuzelas. The nation just had the fever. I have lost my voice from screaming in jubilation.

Sunday though, there was a break in my happiness.
Martha Stewart and I chatted about the word 'admin' yesterday. We both agree that the word is derogatory.

I am admin. Or so I have been told before. And it's all very blasé, and “oh she's just one of those creative fly-off-the-handle- types.” Yeah, pure administration in other words. My friends laugh about it. I don't.

What I fail to understand is that I, prior to a week ago, had a different view. I thought of myself as an assertive, take-no-shit individual who doesn't have a problem standing up for herself. Perhaps a healthy, if not skewed, view of reality. But, silly old me, this apparently just comes down to one word: and it starts with an 'a.'

But what many people conveniently forget is that Admin, or high maintenance = high returns.

High maintenance people are honest and open, they know what they want and deserve; they put themselves out there. They're also compassionate; they get it that people can be emotional and demanding in return. Why is it when someone asks for something, it's considered "oh she's admin?"

Now that it's sunk in that I'm one of these people after our discussion yesterday, I feel low. Very low. Which is just more admin, isn't it? Well never fear, I'll just fucking disappear so that everyone around me can live happy lives without me and my fucking admin.

(I can't literally disappear, obviously. I mean, I'd need a special Invisible Man potion. Which I can't get even on the black market, or so I'm told.)

(Other admin people - please feel welcome to come forward and tell me how they deal with being 'admin.' That may help. And why is 'admin' so wrong anyhow?)

Funnily enough, admin attracts admin. Most of the people I associate myself with are admin openly-spoken, assertive, demanding individuals. Which is why I love them. Actually.

Usually I'd just say, “well fuck it, that's who I am.” I can't help it. Perhaps it's my genetic pool haunting me (my family can be...uphill), or “well, hopefully I have other endearing qualities that may counteract me being 'admin.'

But, today, I don' have the energy. I'll do what I usually do when I feel really shit about something I can't change. Slink into a hole for a few days. I don't even know when I am being unreasonably admin. I always thought I was reasonable. How shit is that?

PS: I was just 'admin' wasn't I?

PPS: Sorry, can I have a complex now?

PPPS: 'Admin' people always come last.


Admin Jam said...

From one "adminer" to another : It can be hard to feel good about being "admin". The thing is, and you've said it here, that this is you. And you should be proud of the wonderful person you are. Would you rather be some shy, retiring wall flower who is walked over at every opportunity? That may work for some people, but not for others, like me. Consider the fact that if you're "admin", you're living life with fullness and courage and you won't ever look back and think "i shoulda..."

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks my Jam. Yes if only I could be more retiring and quiet, I'd sure stay out of trouble a lot more. But being 'admin' comes completely naturally to me it seems, and apparently I didn't even know I fitted this bill.

It's really getting me down. Because EVERYONE can be admin sometimes. EVERYONE.

Jam said...

Sometimes I think people refer to one as being admin when they don't actually want to face up to things. It's easier to tell someone that they're admin than actually having to engage with them in some real and meaningful way... and yes, everyone is admin at some point or another. We're just human after all, and anyone who thinks there is some perfect ideal should be shot.

Peas on Toast said...

Absolutely. "Admin" is only "admin" if you make it admin. (Does that make sense?)

Anything that's slightly a mission or takes an iota of effort is deemed "admin."

And quite frankly, it pisses me off.

3rm said...

hey kiddo. keep your chin up. you are admin and theres no way around it. my advice would be for you to be a little bit more cogniscant of when you are being admin-heavy and the effect that might have on people. use it, or disregard it with the contempt it probably deserves...

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - At least I don't do disappearing acts.

Perhaps take into account that being admin is more acceptable than disappearing altogether.
Just some friendly advice. :)

3rm said...

touche. but thats a conversation for another time. i guess my point was that its not like all of us don't have ways in which we could "improve" (for want of a better word) ourselves and it'd be foolish of us to either ignore altogether or take too seriously that which people take umbridge with.

Peas on Toast said...

And I'm not ignoring it. Which is why I wrote about it.

And which is why I'm bleak. I'm today finding it hard to find anything nice about myself. Anything. So maybe I'll do what you have done and disappear for a while. Just to make people's lives easier.

Revolving Credit said...

You make is sound like a bad thing!

Admin is such a weak term though.
I prefer to just call it 'being full of shit'

Hey people, look at me, I'm full of shit, so deal with it.

I'm no weak ass sit in the corner put up with tons of other people shit and smile type a person...ok...sometimes...especially when the red wine is free.

But hey, I'm a person, not a number or some nameles individual who just disappears in the background clutter. Fuck that shit.

I make no excuses for who I am and definitely won't be doing any 'woe is me' routine.

Personality = Admin
If you want minimal social interaction and no effort, get a goldfish.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Rev. Just what I needed to hear. I love that you're full of shit too :)

And lately I'm feeling more defensive than ever because I think my admin is justified.


3rm said...

i'm off for the day so i'll leave you with this. you are admin/ full of shit but we still love you warts and all. ps what do you say to an old school couch and toaster party so you can rag me off for speaking in idioms and i canmake fun of your sexy flannel lingerie?

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - now that's better, thank you :)
I say a toaster/flannel lingerie party is definitely in order.
Come see Aunty Peas this week, mkay?

Nessers said...

So what if you are "admin". Without people like you what would the boring "non admin" people do?

Don't let the comment of a girl who hardly knows you upset you - your friends love you "just the way you are" as Darsy said about Bridget Jones

The Divine Miss M said...

We won, we won, we won, we won! And it was not a frikken try like half of my office seems to think this morning.

Oh honey, don't panic, everyone has these stupid "off" days. I think that pretty much everyone is admin at one point or another and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Admin is this stupid horrid term that boys use when they just can't be bothered to deal with something or someone.

Lets all embrace our admin(ness) as it makes us highly entertaining people :)

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - ah man, that was my favourite part of Bridget Jones:

"You like me just the way I am!"
Now I'm gonna cry :(

Miss M - yip, that's what Martha Stewart said: boys use the word admin when they can't be bovvered.

Here's to not being boring and giving people constant uphill. Yeeha! :)

The Divine Miss M said...

Martha sounds like a very clever person! She's right so don't worry about being admin, smile and just get on with the day :)

Boys smell anyways.

Peas on Toast said...

She's very smart Miss M :)

I'm sure once I settle in front of Grey's Anatomy and feast my eyes upon Meredith Admin Queen Grey tonight, I'll feel heaps better :)

zuzula said...

I don't know how to deal with people who aren't 'admin'. At least what you see is what you get this way! it's no bad thing x

zuzula said...

PS the rugby. Deep sigh. Congratulations (*ungrits teeth*)!

Peas on Toast said...

Zu - yeah, you're so right. What you see is what you get with admin people, none of this stupid guessing shit. So quite frankly, bring on the admin! :)

And yes, the rugger. I'm sorry you're a Pom babe. Juuuust kidding :)

PS: Did quite enjoy watching Willy and Harry in the crowds though.

The Divine Miss M said...

Oh sheesh Meredith is something else! Which series are you guys on? We have the finale of the 3rd on Thursday night.


Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - yep, we're drawing to the end of season 3 as well. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do without my Monday night fix.

I need my fix!

(Admin, admin...:)

Jam said...

I'm the same...
Need Grey's Anatomy...need Grey's Anatomy...

crayola dude said...

"So maybe I'll do what you have done and disappear for a while. Just to make people's lives easier."

No offence lass, but that's a bit "boo fucking hoo, poor old me, the world conspires against poor old misunderstood me" isn't it?

Peas on Toast said...

crayola - well draw me a fucking picture then.


Of course it's "boo hoo hoo what about me, I'm so misunderstood." Hello??? That's the whole fucking point!

Now draw me a pwetty picture.