Wednesday, October 17, 2007

what happens over dinner usually

Had dinner last night with the extended family.

Nobody passed wind. Somebody burped, but it got lost in the din. The din is the noise of the sisterhood that never stops. Never stops talking, ever.

An interesting evening, let's not lie. I mean it's my family after all. I tried to mentally prepare 747, but often mental preparation isn't enough.

For instance, my step dad told a regaling story over dessert about a motorbike accident he saw on the highway where a girl's brain had popped out onto the road. That was awesome.

My mum bought out books on Thailand.

My Canadian aunt told us how she'd tried to throw her blow up mattress over into the neighbour's garden earlier that day. Just for shits.

Step-dad had to leave halfway through (Creole) dinner to attend to some urgent plumbing next door. He waltzed back in saying, “You shoulda seen what was in that drain, my God...”

My Kiwi aunt told us about 'hoons,' New Zealand chavs. Who have mullets and drop the suspension on their cars, but instead of saying “Am I bovvered?” they say, “Em Oi Bothid?”

Canadian aunt also proudly told us about the wonderful velvet track-suit she has, “one that makes her look like J-Lo.” (Ever so politely, he said, “Hell! I want one of those. Please bring me one from Canada next time you out. I'd like to go buy a newspaper in it, where all my mate's will see me.”)

Then the ultimate in cultural and familial persuasion - my mother: “I certainly hope you don't have [that culture's] blood in your veins, Mr 747!” (Um...he does Mum.)

For all their eccentricities, my family are a special bunch. “Hope we didn't embarrass you," says my step-dad pulling me aside on leaving.
My mum: "Peas, we look like hippies don't we?" (You are a hippie Mum. Except you bathe everyday.)

They behaved exceptionally well, they tried hard. I was proud of them.
My Kiwi cuz came home with me and is staying for two days. Possibly for a little peace and quiet, and perhaps a few sneaky shnafties or two.


Storm said...

aint family just the best?

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah...most of the time. :)

SheBee said...

Don't you love it when your family fluffs things.

My mom once told my (ex) bf that she didn't trust catholics as far as she could spit on them... you guessed it, he was as catholic as a preacherboy's molester.

Peas on Toast said...

SheBee - ha ha ha! That's pretty funny :) How did he take it?

The Divine Miss M said...

Wicked family!

I come from an Orthodix Jewish family on one side and a very Catholic family on the other side. Thankfully neither side have met each other but my parents are always fun.

I'll never take a boy to meet the Jewish side though, dinner with them would be SCARY!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - oy vey, now that's an interesting mix! My family is also Catholic, but heavily colonial French too, especially my mum. So it always makes for interesting meetings...

I dare you, double dare you to bring a Catholic guy home to your Jewish family. :) I'd want to hear all about it!

storm said...

ok miss M...forgive me pls is this is a really stupid comment....but i'm kinda confused:-(

how can one side of your family be jewish and the other side catholic and they've never met? wouldn't they have met when someone got married or something?

there is prob a very simple solution to this...but i've been staring at numbers all humor me

The Divine Miss M said...

I had a bit of a thing with a German boy who I was rather besotted with - I wanted to take him home to the Jewish family but a trip to Canada seemed a bit extreme! :P

The Divine Miss M said...

@Storm - Dad's family are Jewish and Mum's family are Catholic. Dad's family live in Canada and Mum's live in the UK. Mum and Dad live in SA where they met - family have visited from either side but never at the same time. Simple really ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Ah...and the German/Jewish meeting might've been quite interesting as well!

storm said...

bright lights flashing.....thanx:-)