Thursday, October 18, 2007


My workload has just been doubled. Unwittingly. It was always the plan, with the launch of a new site within my company, but hell. The workload was hectic to begin with, now it's just insane. It's scary when you're being avalanched in by stress, time management and hours of organisation and writing.

I'm starting to think I should've looked at more career options after school.
I actually should've been a pirate. Attended pirate academy, keelhauled a few hoons, hijacked a ship and lived a life at sea looting and pillaging. While imbibing flipping great wodges of rum.

So after the day was over, I henceforth picked up my cuz, drove to the Jolly Roger and met my mates there for a pizza smashing and a few gin and tonics.

Something's happened. Maybe I haven't been to the Jolly in a while (a month or two at least), but cripes! And C agrees – can the age level drop by 30%?

Shitters, unfamiliar faces, students...and stern looks when I eyed out the soap dispensers with a wanton eye. Even had to sit on my hands so as to not repeat the Let's Steal A Soap Dispenser Whenever We Get Smashed At The Jolly process. Of which we were cunning thieves, might I add.

It was nice to catch up with my mates again though – especially Moogs whom I haven't seen in ages. We compared belly sizes: the 94.7 cycle race is gonna be a serious challenge this year, by the looks of things. Due to excessive Creole food, and I presume too many Maccy D's burgers for Moogs, we've been in better shape. Except my belly was brown and his was decidedly...English Rose Albino.

E has to dye her hair, or doesn't have to, but has been recommended to, dye her hair brown, because being blonde, and moving to Egypt – they said they'd try and trade her in for camels. She's moving to flippin' Egypt. It's pretty shitty for us hoons stuck here.

C and I realised there is, in fact, much gossip flying around this town. Much. Some of it bordering on the ridiculous as well. Joburg never fails to disappoint when it comes to wife-swopping.

Back to another work-filled and hefty day. I wonder when the burn-out will hit. Four or five days after returning from a holiday? Fuck, imagine if I didn't have a holiday?


Jam said...

Arrr me matey!
Methinks you'll survive, or just make your boss walk the gang plank...

Peas on Toast said...

Arrrr, shiver me timbers and a barrel of rum!

If this week doesn't end soon Jam, I'm gonna walk the plank myself :)

kyknoord said...

You could still be a pirate. All you need is a DVD burner.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - ooh well then that makes me a pirate already!

You've made my day :)

KaBtalk said...

Kyk - funny one! haha...

Peas - welcome back to boring old ant world like thingie majig type of see...I can't even make sense of things's that bad here! *sigh* the weekend starts tonight damnit!

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - I've already planned my next holiday. Oh yah. It's gonna be a goodie! Bring on November! :)

The Divine Miss M said...

See, there was gossip! You just had to look for it. But now that you're back the gossip shall flow forth freely :)

Champagne Heathen said...

So what is the gossip anyway? Considering how long it took for me to hear about your gossip AND! AND! I worked it out for myself by complete chance!!.... I obviously am not in this town's grapevine loop. Well, in the sense that I don't get told about things, but I'm sure things are still getting told about me.

Revolving Credit said...

If you're gonna be a pirate, you'll need a parrot.

If you glued 2 wings onto Chad's back, would he sit on your shoulder?

"Ho,ho,ho and a bottle of rum" appears you're gonna need to find 3 Ho's as well!!

Simone said...

Rev - you mean 2 ho's.


x Simone

Revolving Credit said...

Ooo....look, you only need to find 2 more ho's as it appears that Simone has volunteered to be one of your ho's.

Maybe she's just trying to sneak a closer peek at your treasure chest!

fuzzy logic said...

I'm so glad to see you're using hoon. Us hoon bitches over here is well proud.

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - You're right. All I needed to do was smash a pizza with the girls over a few gin and tonics and out all the goss would come! :)

Champers - Impossible. Seriously? You know a lot of people who me and Mr 747's hook up no doubt caused all sorts of talk, so that is rather strange. Still, we're pretty happy to be out of the limelight now it's old news :)

Rev - ha ha ha! I'm sure Chaddles would love to be a parrot. I mean, just yesterday he was impersonating a tortoise...wouldn't come out of his tunnel.

Fuzzy - The word hoon is the new black babe. Am loving it! :)

Storm said...

oooh, can i also come aboard the pirate ship???? and for heavens sake....can my surname be sparrow??? LOL

isn't this weather just gorgeous???? apart of course from the fact that by the time i leave work i'll look like i resemble michelle bruce....(i spent ages this morning straightning my beautiful hair)

rain rain rain

Peas on Toast said...

Storm - ok you can shotgun Sparrow, but I shotgun Depp. Cool ? ;)

Rain was gorgeous, got very dark in town...and then got stuck on the street in a downpour. Hello frizzy hair!

Storm said...

i was just sitting considering how the hell i'm gonna get to my car at hometime without actually getting my hair even near anything moist:-( i can't think of any possibilities.....can anybody help me??

my boss was sweet enough to drop me off right in front of the door when we got back from lunch so i won't get all wet and frizzy......sweet ne!

Revolving Credit said...

So Peas, if you plan on becoming a real pirate, does this mean that you'll be growing a beard??

Maybe you should move to Orlando, then you could be one of the Orlando Pirates!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Very true that I didn't know. And yes, very surprising... mutual people considering.

I was pretty amazed when I mentioned it to a person or two & they told me your whole long 'sordid' story. They were completely amazed, considering how many months I was supposedly behind... They asked where I'd been... I said, doing my best to stay out of people's life's gossip till I see the person.

This town seriously needs to get its head out of its arse, and realise there are so many other things to talk about & experience than themselves.

And I think it is great for you two... he's a great goofball of a guy & you two should be highly amusing together. Plus he has excelled at finding me the odd dodgy gun-toting Johnny-suiping fiance possibility. How can you not appreciate such a man!

WTF is a 'hoon'?

Peas on Toast said...

Champers - yeah I know, you don't need to tell me! And 'sordid' story, hardly. I'd say I haven't been this happy, stable or content in a long, long time. As for the folk who claim they have any right to comment on it (and we both know who these people are), well, I can simply say, why is it any of their business anyway?

It amused us though, in the beginning. "Bring it on!" was the common sentiment.

Rev - Even better - Orlando, Florida? Aw c'mon - You wanna sponsor me? ;)

SilverSabre said...

to repeat a previous question: wtf is a hoon??

I'm off to India on Wednesday.


They have piled on the Work BEFORE I leave! wtf. again, wtf.

Peas on Toast said...

Champers and Sabre - sorry, I forgot - it's my new word. You're a hoon, Champers.
You fit the bill perfectly.

Enjoy Sabre, India you lucky fella! Bring me back some curry.

Champagne Heathen said...

Ok, I finally found out where the word was used... "keelhauled a few hoons"...but is still making bugger all sense to me.

Your story isn't sordid? Argh. Obviously I have had no influence on either of you two! Unless... you ain't telling in blog world, then you are far too like me now. Stop that.

I'll join that Pirate Ship of yours. I am over this fcking town, the people, and its shite as of lunchtime today. When do we sail? Oh and... I don't cook.

Peas on Toast said...

Champers - well def not sordid for me anyhow :)
Yeah this town is incredulous. We were just saying at the Jolly last night - one of my mates says she needs to leave, go on a skiing working holiday - cause a ruckus there and then return. But we all agreed Joburg would be just the same as always when she returned.

Maybe it'll end when we all hit our 40s. But I somehow doubt it...

Revolving Credit said...

Orlando, Pirates?
Orlando, Florida?
Orlando, Bloom?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - well if you're asking, I'll pick Orlando, Bloom please. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Hmmm...considering the age of some of the men I have been known to date... nope, the gossip still runs thick amongst the forty year olds.

If your mate goes on a skiing working she ensure it is in the french alps or something... America ski season still sounds a bit like "Little Jo'Burg".

I just now think... they are too scared to live life. So we must do it for them. But it gets damn exhausting living LIFE for so many spineless others.

Over it. Pass the rum & the ship.

Peas on Toast said...

Yip, I concur. A ski season in the States is Little Joburg. Been there, done it. :)

I wonder if people in Guam have the same issues.

Revolving Credit said...

Lets find the worst/best gossiper and make them 'walk the plank'!

Champs, so you still looking for a boy with a nice pegleg??

Captain Ahab wasn't a pirate??

Maybe you should rather be a whaler!!

That way you still have the pegleg, the grog and sailing the 7 seas

but suddenly your story include a sperm whales and a beast called Moby Dick, not to mention a fair amount of regular harpooning!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh my God Rev! You've also read The Pirates! Aren't they fabulous, those books?

Mr 747 gave me two for my holiday, and I was glued. So fucking funny. The Pirate Captain is a beeyoot hey. I laughed for days...

PS: Everyone, The Pirates by Gideon Defoe. Do yourselves a favour. Honest to God, they're great!

Champagne Heathen said...

Oh don't stop Rev... with all that talk... I am so... carry on... I'll let you know when to stop...

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like we're gonna have to tie ya to the mast, rip off ya shirt and heave the old cat 'o nine tails against ya naked skin 'til ya body is trembling, soaked with sweat, red streaks stretching across ya muscles, you crying out, nay begging for us to stop as ya canna take no more.

Them have the deckhand sponge down ya still shuddering body as a throng on seaman look on!

Champagne Heathen said...

*long pause of Champs' absence* that I am feeling just fine... Rev, you should think of writing for Mills & Boon. The purple version - it's the x-rated one. R100 000 if your story gets accepted. And women the world over would love you (even more).

Or... are these in some Pirate books that Peas is referring to... and then where do I find such books... out of interest sake only.

Revolving Credit said...

"The purple version - it's the x-rated one."

Does that mean that Barney the Dinosaur should have a PG rating??

X-rated version:
'Barney gets harpooned'

Pirate books, no idea, next time you're in cape Town or Durban, head down to the docks and ask around.

I'm not sure that pirates have much literary inclination, what, between the rum drinking, ship boarding, treasure hunting and plank walking, not oo sure where you'd squeeze in the time.

But guaranteed, if pirates wrote books, they'd probably write smut as I don't see many women pirates about to distract them.

Champagne Heathen said...

Not for long... I am off to find my bandana within the half hour. satisfying it is going to be, to be a lady pirate! (Oxymoron?)