Friday, January 18, 2008

how's that shower curtain?

I'm not chilled about a lot of things. Like tax returns, snakes and infidelity. But I can handle the dark. When the load shedding frequently sheds it's darkness upon my flat, even when I'm in the bath, it's chilled. I know the ghost [might be] there, but I'm ok with sitting complete darkness.

My boyfriend. On the other hand.

He knows about the ghost – on non-ghost, or whatever it is I believe that lurks around my apartment, and he simply loves the idea.
Not. The night before last, after watching a ghost hunting documentary on Reality Channel (Reality Channel is officially endorsed by Sobriety Club (Pty) Ltd.), he went for a shower. Only to run to the towel cupboard, whack one around his waist, and come trotting back into the lounge.

“I thought you were showering?”
“Well, yeah...I just thought I'd sit here for a little while.”
Peas: OK.

[pause]

Peas: Why you sitting on the arm of the couch almost on top of me?”
“Ag, just chilling.”
Peas: You're naked. Barring the towel.
“Yeah, so, do you want to come talk to me while I'm in the shower?”
Peas: You're scared aren't you.
“No?"
Peas: Yes you are.
"Well, maybe a little.”

Followed him to the shower, and read him his star sign out loud while he scrubbed himself behind the shower curtain.
He'd switched on every single light in my flat. Including the back porch area and my flatmate's bedroom. He was shitting himself. So I turned all the lights off, including the one in the bathroom, just to guage his reaction.

FUCK!!! NO! PEAS! STOP IT MAN, TURN IT BACK ON!” (Cue strange howling noises, fused with high-pitched screeching). I then threw open the curtain and whispered, “Boo.”

The man but almost went right through the ceiling above him. At his expense, sure, it was amusing. But at the same time, it's also good to see men reveal a vulnerable side to themselves.

Mr 747 is afraid of the dark.
Bless, bless, bless.

27 comments:

kyknoord said...

You're terrible, Muriel.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

hey peas and all.

you're awful and should be punished!!!

sorry, got yanked away from the hus-off (and i now see wife-off) yesterday. stupid eskom and their facking loadshedding.

oh well, cant really complain - first time in three months we've had no power, others have it way worse.
so what's on the agenda for today?

more non-working?

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk and Thrills - oh no, I just realised I'm terrible. Now I feel bad . :(

I INSIST It's a friendly ghost though!

Thrills, the load shedding is fucking inconvenient, I agree. I'm going to try my best to work today, although I'm tired from a girls night, it's Friday and I just want to zzzzzzzzz.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

nah, not awful.
i'd have totally done the same if luke was afraid of the dark.

dont think that man's scared of anything...

so i flush the toilet when he's in the shower. just to keep him on his toes.

Peas on Toast said...

hahahahaha, the classic Toilet Flushing Whilst Showering prank.
It never gets old.
:)

Eddie Izzard has lots to say about that one too :)

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

well i've never lived in a house where that stunt has actually worked.

i've taken to bathing when luk'es home, and waiting til he's at work to shower, so he cant get revenge.

man that shower gets hot!

Peas on Toast said...

Cunning. As Izzard reckons, "The taps are so sensitive. It takes one nanometre, and the shower goes from beautifully warm...then suddenly to fucking freezing."

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

or to 'burn-you-balls-off-hot'!

Champagne Heathen said...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Well done to you!! Can I unleash this side of yours on some of the guys in my life?! Except my mom has done well enough in training me how to play on boys' silly fears. He he he. Particularly by buying toy rats & leaving them in my brothers' beds.

Peas on Toast said...

Thrills - indeed. Ouch mothufucka. Scorched scrotum has gotta hurt...

Champs - toy rats? I can lend you Chad if you want. It'll up the ante by 1 000%.

(747 isn't fond of Chaddles either...but he's getting better. As in he doesn't run away now. He actually manages to stroke his head. Sometimes.)

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

my mother's husband is shit scared of snakes....so what does he do? brings home a snake (you know, in the glass cage and alles)...a few days later, the snake goes missing....


guess who's shitting themselves senseless?

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

PS: in line with the hus/wife-off yesterday, i found this fucking hilarious:
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/viewer.asp?ID=396

Peas on Toast said...

Thrills - I can tell you one thing - snakes, even if it's encased in a glass cage, I'd actually have a heart attack if if someone came anywhere near me with that.

747 might've been twitchy-scared, but I'd actually fucken lose it.

Snakes boet. I'm getting bi-polar just having this conversation. Doesn't help I dream about them the whole time too...sigh. Thanks for the link, lemme take a look!

Jam said...

I think 747 best get used to the dark since someone told me that we're going to have to live with load shedding for a long, long time to come.

Peas on Toast said...

Ag, he was so...cute :)

Revolving Credit said...

Well, if you got mysteriously headbutted one dark night while sleeping, you too may have some reason to fear the dark!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - yeah fair enough! :)
Nuff said! :)

Peas on Toast said...

PS: Thrills - that letter is hilarious! If you guys are bored, click onto the link - it's a pearler!

ClayOne said...

Being in the dark is one thing,being alone in the dark is another.

The latter can send me on a major trip from time to time.

Luckily i have dogs,i just check if they seem cool,if they are on edge i just break the hell out or invite someone over for a few drinks :-)

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

the house i lived in in Durban was built i 1895. it was haunted beyond belief. it was haunted by, among others, the dude that originally built the house, Mr G Clark (the road is named after him). When we first moved into the house, after I'd first seen the ghost, I was going through some cupboards, there was a whole bunch of papers. I found the original house plans with his name on it.

I think he was hanging around making sure his house was well-looked after.

Peas on Toast said...

ClayOne - yeah having a dog(s) has its perks. I have a rat. Which for some, in the light, is terrifying. But it's good to know he's there. :)

Thrills - you saw the ghost! I haven't seen mine per se - except things at the corner of my eye that don't seem kosher. I just feel like I'm being watched a lot, and hear funny noises. Interesting about your old house - tell me about your ghost spotting!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

My Ghost Spotting:

Mr Clark lives upstairs. it is a double storey house. The Dad's Girlfriend claims he spends most of his time sitting on the bench on the landing ( i think that's a fancy word for the passage adjacent to the stairs?!)

My study is directly below the stairs. when The Dad and Girlfriend had gone ot bed I would hear someone walking up and down the stairs. weird.

the presences (is that even a word?) downstairs, well I've never laid eyes on them, or had any clues to their identification. but when i used to study during exams, every now and again my jack russell puppies would rush out the room, stand at the door and growl.

and they also growl at Mr Clark occasionally. or in his direction. cant be sure if he's there, i've only seen him once or twice.

but it was weird to look at the original plans of my house. my bathroom used to be a pantry, where the kitchen back door is now used to be a chimney (you can still see the brickwork from the outside) and my bedroom used to be a porch. there was also drawings for a 'native toilet' in the backgarden shown on the plans.

Peas on Toast said...

Shitters hey! Your house sounds beautiful, honestly. Old and full of character. As for the ghost, yip, it sounds like he's just looking out for the old place. So cool that you got to the see the original plans too. I never got to see the original plans of my Natal home (it's also old, etc etc), but would've loved that.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

ha. so it seems all crazypants ladies hail from the K of ZN?!

Anonymous said...

I once shared a room with 747 boy in the states, he made me sleep with the light slightly on!

Sheena Gates said...

Wait, you have a ghost?

Where have I been?!

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Hey hey hey!!! There is NOTHING wrong with being scared of the dark. Mean, mean, mean girl!
Fucking amusing though! Ha ha ha ha! Ahem...