Wednesday, April 16, 2008

pants and sundry

OK. I'm not sure which is more of a not-so-brilliant choice: the lots of wine last night, or the fact that I wore underpants with pink tassle/suspender thingies hanging the fuck off of them. (It's how they come. It's how I bought them. And I wear them willy nilly with not much thought behind it.)


That's all I'm saying.

And conveying litigating. An litigating conveying. And I'm a porn star. And fish to fry. And sundry.

Good morning.

While I was napping over, my mate Klo phones me to tell me she fraternised and drank beer with Vernon Koekemoer last night at the Jolly Roger. He had oil all over him. "His hair is so beautiful Peas, it's all soft and wavy."

That's fucking hilarious. And I'm so hungover, I, yah.

61 comments:

Peter Barlow said...

Good morning Peas,

replying to your previous post comment- yes I am well, sorry I have been so scarce, busy with a new course this year which is cool.

Glad to hear the freelancing thing is coming together! :-)

Nessers said...

Tassles and suspender thingies hehehe - What does the matching bra look like heheheh

Each chocolate for the hangover and creme soda works like a charm

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - howdy ho my dear. Good luck with the new course, that's swell!

Nessers - chocolate and cream soda. Are you joking, I think I'm going to vomit. And wasn't wearing the matching bra. Bummer :)

Miks said...

Peas ... Im feeling your pain.

A bit of a night out back in my old home town last night. A bit of flirting and giving away my phone number while the boyf wasnt there.

Eish - The head this morning - She hurts!

Peas on Toast said...

Yay another hungover person! Sorry, I know, at the expense of your head. :(


Makes one feel helluva bashful.

My hair looks like something that's just been sodomised.

Good luck today Miks!

MsBehavn said...

Wimpy breakfasts are the bomb for hangovers, Peas. And for the love of all things sacred do not lose the sunglasses!!

Hope the sleepover and tassled underpants were worth the brain tumour this morning!

Peas on Toast said...

MsBehavn - oh the skank pants were worth it, I think.

What fun!

But now I believe my maid, who just came in, is judging me.

Jam said...

I need pant like that.
And I WANT to meet Vernon...I WANT to stroke his soft hair.
;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - these doondies must be quite terrifying, if I look at it objectively.

Yes, and I'm meeting Klo now for one helluva greasy breakfast and she's going to show me pictures of his soft, beautiful mullet!

Jam said...

Oh so green with the envy...

Sheena Gates said...

wahahahaa. god you're funny sometimes!

Revolving Credit said...

OK, so here's what I read:

..lots of wine last night..
..I wore underpants with pink tassle/suspender thingies ..
..
..I'm a porn star..
..I was napping over..

So where exactly did you wake up this morning?

Sheena Gates said...

Ja me too - I also want to know.

go rev

Revolving Credit said...

Let's not forget

..He had oil all over him...

kyknoord said...

Just ignore their sordid little innuendoes. The important thing is you wore underwear. That says "class" right there.

Peas on Toast said...

Oh my God. That Wimpy breakfast was a bad idea.

Hollllllly shit, I should've had a cous cous salad.

Jam - I saw the picture, it's a beeyoot, she's gonna email it to me and I'll show ya!

Sheena - bless. However, I do feel slightly pukey right now.

Revvie - ah Revvie Rev Rev. I woke up in a bed. In a house. On a street. Feeling rather unbelievably still drunk.

However, yes, from the pieces herein, it sounds like I woke up in the gutter behind the shebeen, like.

:)

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes. I am a CLASSY WOMAN.

:)

Kel said...

ooooh oil on the koek-emoer.The thought makes me tingle all over.

You need nipple caps now peas,with tassles.I have no idea how one would get the tassles to move without one's face going all distorted,but if you get it right then let me know ?

p.s:want a shot of Vodka?

Kel said...

blah blah...forgot to tick the subscribe to replies box (lol)

Peas on Toast said...

Kel - I've always wondered how those things stick on properly. You know, and stay on. Hmmm.

And just now when Klo mentioned the word vodka, I started tasting bile in my mouth. And it's just happened again.

Help.

Kel said...

Do you have any sinutab or med lemon?
or coryx?
Any cold /flu meds kill a hangover quick sticks.

(you can tell Ive been high and dry without panado in the house hey?)

Ches said...

OMG Pea's! Ha ha...I got this notice on Amatomu that I've been linked to 'Pea's on Toast - SEXYTIME' post, so since I've started blogging again and I've just found an underground/backdoor website to pass our anal company server restrictions, I decided to check it out...Jeezuz Fooking Hell! I had arrived on Desperate Housewives!!! As for your friend Anita, she clearly needs some time with Yogi Raman to remove the demon from her soul...anyways...Ches is back. Hope you're well LJ, see you soon. C.

Peas on Toast said...

Kel - fully. I just have no idea where to look, how to look. All I can really do is sit tight.

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - hello my long lost! How you my choina? LJ is hanging like a demon today, possibly half as a result of all the stuff you mentioned there, however it's good to see you back big guy! You're back in ac in the blogosphere which is excellent!
And hopefully we'll see you soon. xx

Hot Pink said...

so peas.
i think you need to come have a coffee and chat laaaydeee?
i r hearing things...

Peas on Toast said...

Hahahahaha :)

Can I wear my skank pant?

happy snapper said...

Aah Peas, I felt like you do today on Tuesday morn....BAAAAD!

I have to agree on the cream soda thing though. It's amazing, and I dont know why, but it works!

Peas on Toast said...

snapper - it's awful hey. I honestly have forgotten how severe hangovers can be, and I remember now why I gave up drinking completely for a while - because it's really really taxing!

I think I'll vomit if I look at cream soda, truth be told. But my old Fanta Orange here is going down orright.

Craig said...

creme soda wont work unless you add vodka :)

happy snapper said...

Yeah, hangovers suck hairy donkey balls!

Ha ha, well as long as you're getting something down to ease the "3day old wine taste in your mouth" :)

Peas on Toast said...

Craig - Thanks guy for making me mock charge! :)

snapper - I just want my bed. I need to go to it. Curl up in a ball and meditate or something.

leez said...

People!! we forgetting the fundamentals here. hangovers are good but I still want to know: who did you wake up next to? Or has the wine diminished all memory? bless, it has that handy and convenient ability...

Peas on Toast said...

leez - hahaha sly and cunning :)

I woke up next to a poor and unassuming gentleman with German blood in his family (ooh and how I go gooey over that...scheize...so gooey), and yes all a bit unexpected and all that...but that's where wine came in and took control.

:) Bless

Anonymous said...

WHATEVER!!! Unexpected. Ba ha ha! No one, I mean no one, wheres undies with pink tassles NOGAL and calls the encounter "unexpected."

Premeditated!! Thats the word :)

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - bwahaha whatever! I wear these things all the fuckin' time. Not sure why, as they're horribly impractical, if not a little scary.

Sheena Gates said...

Waaaaaaaaah!

Did he say "Unt Hallo" and offer you an Eisbein for breakfast this morning?

ahahahahhaa- ahahahaa- aaaaaaaahhhhaaaaa!

leez said...

Maybe they'te an accompanying accessory to the heels? Tassles make you feel sexy?

Peas on Toast said...

Sheena - no not that German ha ha :) Like he doesn't wear lederhosen and dance about in Bavaria saying "Und schneller!" and stuff.

hhahaha

Peas on Toast said...

leez - it's all good and well, until one doesn't tuck the tassles in properly and they end up hanging out the back of my pants. Sexy.

Kel said...

Hi Im Mrs Peas Baumgaertner



or

"Hi there Im Peas Frankfurter ,how can I be of assistance?"

Im leaning towards frankfurter...peas and sausage.How appropriate

Jam said...

I always work on the philosphy that the best happens to you when you're wearing your worst (underwear) so the theory holds that if you're wearing great underwear, you're not going to get lucky...

Peas on Toast said...

Kel - hahahah :)

Jam - touche. ALWAYS happens like that. ALWAYS. And I certainly didn't believe that this person would see my doondies.

Jam said...

;-)

Anonymous said...

An oily lubed up koek, I could have done with one of those last night...

leez said...

just came across this -as if your hangover wasn't bad enough. check it out. my fav part:

"she portrays herself on her blog as a perpetually inebriated sex-starved vamp, but then also complains about stalkers."

http://www.reporter.co.za/article.aspx?ID=RP21A455298

leez said...

just came across this -as if your hangover wasn't bad enough. check it out. my fav part:

"she portrays herself on her blog as a perpetually inebriated sex-starved vamp, but then also complains about stalkers."

http://www.reporter.co.za/article.aspx?ID=RP21A455298

Kel said...

Notice how he keeps referring to the amount of visitors he gets nogal too.
Its cause dude,noone is interested that you gloss over news.

Peas its ok hey,if you want to become a nun Ill still read your blog .

leez said...

Damn!!!! just realised that his blog is gonna get more hits coz of you.

shite!!! or was that his plan? try to lure your readers to his arb blog by trying to dis you?

If you were to become a nun or a pre-school teacher or something along those lines I would still read this. more reason to actually.

Peas on Toast said...

Hi guys

Ag, you know what? I don't even have to look at that link, I know who it is already. Nick van der Leek right.

He's basically rewritten that article 6 times. Yeah he hates me, but honestly, I've met this guy. And trust me when I say it's really ok if he doesn't dig this vibe. Because he was the most irritating fuckwit ever to have hit Grahamstown in its life. (Met him at a conference there), and he drove most people bananas if I recall.

Hey it might not be him, I haven't checked. But oh well.

I have other issues to deal with. Chad my rat, it appears, that he might be dying. Isn't that wonderful. He's sick and I've been nursing a rat all afternoon with a hangover that might just kill me too. So that's my focus right now.

Kel said...

yup,its Leek.
He must have been quite taken with you cause he only mentioned you about 10 billion times.
But yes,more pressing matters.Poor Chad.
Hope he feels better soon.
ox

Sheena Gates said...

Awwww. I hope he gets better.

That other oke, Doos face, he should just pick out the shard of glass up his arse. Don't mind him.

3rm said...

seems to me like young nick is desperate to be a serious pulitzer-winning journo and instead is stuck in the blogoshere. poor boy

Revolving Credit said...

Peazel, so after all this time Nick's still got the hots for you!!

He's probably just pissed that he's not German.

While on that subject, tell me, could you German fellow rap??

After all, rapping is just like yodelling but withou the echo!

Jam said...

ah leek leaks again

Revolving Credit said...

Hiya Jamzel *wave*

dividedbyzero said...

*proclaims fandom*

love your blog; check out mine if you get the chance to

dividedbyzero said...

oops. it's http://www.dividebyzero.wordpress.com

Hollywoodgal said...

Hello Peas -
Just a quick word here, speaking of German and all... does your friend Klo realise that spelt like that, her name is German for Lav/Loo/Kakhuis? I dunno, she might want to look into adapting the spelling or something? Love from Paris.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks dividedbyzero! I\d love to to take a look :)

Hi Hollywoodgal - oooh in Paree, you luck thing - on holiday? And hahahah about Klo, she's gonna LOVE this! Hhahaha

Divinebee said...

Vernon Koekemoer was on Pasella on SABC 2 last night - didn't catch the story 'cos I had the sound down and just glimpsed him briefly. But, I kid you not, there he was larger than life! Oh how I laffed! : )

Divinebee said...

Whoops - Vernon wasn't on Pasella - he's on the new Vodacom ad. The one with that technophobic old guy. Still haven't quite caught the context tho, but he is there! :)