Monday, May 12, 2008

benders make you sick

Can May be the most birthday saturated-month of the year. I seem to have a lot of Taurean friends, and Friday was Doc's birthday bash; Saturday was C's.

Anyway two little ripper snorters – Dockers did his usual thing at about 3:00am, stripping off for the throngs and dancing about. He's the most chilled out exhibitionist I know. We all got a bit fucked, oodles of fun – with the high point of my night meeting two Germans.

Ich liebe.

They hailed from Munchen. I threw out a few “I vont you to show me your uber taschenpuffer” and “Ich bin ein frau mit boson”, and they seemed touched that I knew how to verbalise the word “hipflask” and that “I am a woman and I have boobs.” As well as loads of shit about autobahns and beer in Bavaria. Moral – if there are Germans in a room, I'll find 'em.

Also, they seemed quite taken aback by the amounts of “fucks” that seemed to spew from our collective female mouths. Apparently, in German, “scheise” will do. Fuck literally means to fuck. So saying “fich dich” is absolutely not on unless you're the extra in a porn movie. C asked whether saying “scheisenhausen” (“Oh shithouses!”) was acceptable, and they still stood strong on just “scheise.”

I suppose in France people say “bordel” a lot (“Oh brothel!”), so it's all one in the same. Fuck is a strong word. But yet nothing quite rounds up a moment as the word fuck, let's be honest.

Crazy party, full of vodka and Tab, and then onto C's on Saturday. That was also quite hilarious and silly – and I had my first Jaegermeister in months.

I also saw Ant this weekend. Who took it upon herself to be my personal stylist before one of these parties. I thought I was looking hot, and she couldn't understand why I'd want to wear “that gold thing.” Basta!

Woke up Sunday with a hideous cold. I've been wondering when I'll get sick really. When your body is taking a beating, and it's all hammer and tongs with stress and new jobs and moving and all that, one is inclined to get sick. Well here I am, all bunged up, husky and snotty and couldn't sleep at all last night.

And wrapped up under a fever watching TV on Sunday, I came to two conclusions:

1)The Mr Muscle Man. The animated dude in the very family friendly advert. You know, there's the mother, the son drops cake on the floor, and in he flies? Dude – Mr Muscle has a package. He's animated for crying out loud, but Mr Muscle has the largest of packages. Unbelievable. They not only made him a cleaning product, they made him a cleaning product with a huge penis.

2)Top Gun is one of the best movies of all time. Tom Cruise wasn't only not crackers, he also grinded his jaw throughout the movie in such a way, good Christ, I really wanted to be Kelly McGillis. Maverick was gorgeous.


c@th said...


get better soon! XXXX

Peas on Toast said...

c@th - sniff sniff! :( Thanks babe!

Nessers said...

Poor Peas - Hope you get better soon

I too am Taurus so even tho we have never met you can ad me to your Taurus list heheh - we are good people

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - ag, my nose is about to fall off my fucken face! ARRRGH! :)

Another Taurus, I remember that you're one actually. It's EVERYBODY'S birthdays at the moment. You bulls! :)

Champagne Heathen said...

The Volleyball scene in Top Gun has to be one of the finest moments in movie history. What a cinematographic feat!

Peas on Toast said...

I know have you ever! Oiled up bodies with swinging dog tags....oh my aching ovaries...and then Tom Crooze is grinding his jaw. What a movie, what a movie.

Mini said...

Sweet Pea

Did the night go into a drunken charaoke session,coz them Germans and Austrians are known to be quite some drinkers?

Get some kleenex and get well soon!

Peas on Toast said...

Mini - No karaoke strangely, but lots and lots of dancing! :)

Kleenex is both my enemy and my best friend. What I need here is nasal plugs.


Mini said...

My apologies for the bad grammar,I blame sms for that!

Anonymous said...

Regarding conclusion #1: he is Mr "Muscle" and not Mr Min. Kind of makes sense. Besides, I reckon that's the only way they could get us to take a guy dressed like a traffic cone seriously.

happy snapper said...

Dude, Ive never noticed Mr Muscle's package? You must still be on the verge of horny :)

but I will definately be paying closer attention next time someone makes a spill. ha ha.

Mini said...

Happy my darling

Are you still horny and wanting to check the Mr Muscle dude out after our weekend?How many plates can a gal eat from?LOL


happy snapper said...

Ha ha, Mini

I cant say the horniness ever really leaves. Its like a healthy apetite, there's always room for at least 3 meals a day. ha ha ha!

how are you doin after the weekend? ;)


Peas on Toast said...

OK concerning traffic cones and muscles, and the one eyed Mr Muscle monster - I sense a little bloggy romance going on, on my blog! Yay!!

(Am I allowed to chaperone you two on your first date? Aunty Peas will behave, promise! ;)

Mini said...

My feelings r blatantly obvious for the woman that made my toes twirl for the 1st time in a while:-).Shes the snappy.I am her cracky n poppy.LMFAO

SwissTwist said...

Hallo Peas
Ich bin sicher dass du sehr schoene Busen hast (in so not a les-way)

Wuensche dir eine gute Besserung!

TM said...

Go to this post on my friend Mark´s blog to see his reasons for the Taurean phenomenon!

happy snapper said...

ha ha ha! Mini, thats classic....the cracky and poppy! lol. and oh too sweet :)

ha ha, Peas, you're a legend! You can chaperone if you please, but just remember, Mini already included you in our "first date" already. ha ha.