Thursday, June 19, 2008

fuck

By 4:00pm I was itching, I left work and drove merrily along to @Home and rushed in to the rug section...to find...my baby had been sold.

The last one. Arrrrrrrrrrgh No. No!

Suddenly extremely agitated and on the realisation that my rug was the fish that got away, I said to the manager:

'Give me a minute.'
I had to go and walk outside a bit for some air.

My baby had been sold. I'd given myself 24 hours to think about it. God!
The person who coined the term that delayed gratification makes the prize seem sweeter – what a lot of crock. Look, now, see? The rug, gone!

INSTANT gratification, let this be a lesson to you kids. Instantaneous or slow on the uptake and someone else bloody buys it? You decide. Oh Jesus, can I cope?

A white rug is an impulse buy for a reason! I couldn't believe how bleak I was that they were all sold out. Bleakness and loser's complex prevails, mid-store.

Only an hour before this, I realised that I was in love with a rug. And that this cream rug is most certainly the best choice, even if it means that sometimes I will have to roll it up if I host an orgy. Kidding, party.

I henceforth walked around, pissed off for a bit, sadly stroking the other rugs and feeling the resentment rise, I realised the mission was not over.

I could order one from Bloemfontein. It would take one to two weeks. I took her business card in the event she didn't call me the moment the rug hit the Highveld soil.
I ordered one. This by no means it's 100% set in stone that I get one.

But I won't give up. If I loved the rug yesterday, I am absolutely infatuated with it today.

This is just a slight obstacle to the overall experience. And a white, crème brulee dream isn't one that should come easily. This I understand.

But someone in Johannesburg bought my rug yesterday. Probably for the frigging spare bedroom or something. I was preparing for a night in with me and my fluffy companion!

But. Remember.

It's not over till the fat lady sings.

26 comments:

FiOnion said...

... or someone read your blog and decided they'd get to the rug before you did?

3rm said...

i've a confession to make...it was me

Peas on Toast said...

Fionion - stranger things have happened. Fuckers. :)

3RM - it's more likely Prince fucking Charles china, what on EARTH would you do with an amazingly furry rug??

(Oh I'm Marcus Schenkenburg);)

Betenoir said...

Those bastards will never appreciate that rug like you would have...

Revolving Credit said...

You've got the worst case of carpet burn envy I've seen in a while.

You so know someone else shagged that pile last nite!

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - as I said, it's probably sitting in one of three spare rooms - the one without the en suite bathroom. Grr! ;)

Rev - I hope those carpet burns sting like hell.

Charmskool said...

Are you sure that its' being sold wasn't the Universe's way of tellling you that you shouldn't have it? I am glad I am so totally into instant gratification that this would not have happened to me. It also explains my current financial state.

Revolving Credit said...

Come to think of it, the rug's probably already stained.

Probably covered in shiny drool patches seeing as there's a fair chance that it was purchased by some rug muncher!

Peas on Toast said...

Charm - yes, it probably was the Universe telling me not to have it. I thought about that yesterday. But then WHY AM I DEVASTATED IT WAS SOLD?

Like, if I didn't really want it, I would've walked away with a 'ah well'. But something happened; and I figure it's called separation anxiety :)

Rev - oh. Yum. I guess :)

Revolving Credit said...

You were hoping to munch some rug yourself??

Wanted to go on a magic carpet ride?

Peas on Toast said...

No Rev, no.

Not today.

Not anyday.

Revolving Credit said...

Well, you're the one who said 'Yum'?

Come on, admit it, you wanna go on a magic carpet ride.

You wanna rub Aladdin's lamp and see what pops out, don't you?

Go on, make a wish!

Mini said...

The rug is in my BEDROOM for obvious reasons.Its my new shagmat!:)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev, rev rev. A Magic Carpet Ride for me would involve a male body, in its purest, carnal form.

Anything else would be...not good at all.

;)

Mini - ah so YOU'RE the bugger who bought my rug!! How those carpet burns under a hot shower, eh?

Revolving Credit said...

So a hairy guy would be a good rug substitute?

Replace the comfort of the persian rug with his persian slug?

Peas on Toast said...

persian slug?

Rev I just threw up a little in my mouth. Was thinking along your lines, but then you said 'slug', and well, I'd rather just have sex with myself.
;)

Revolving Credit said...

Slug
A slug is a term used for a solid ballistic projectile. It is "solid" in the sense of being composed of one piece; the shape can vary widely, including partially hollowed shapes

However, I see where you're going with this. You though I was refering to a mollusc.

In that case: 'Slugs are hermaphrodites, having both female and male reproductive organs'

So if you were a slug, you could in fact rather just have sex with yourself

acidicice said...

What if it was a POT fanatic that read your post about the rug and went out to buy something you coveted. People are sick. It could be true.

Ches said...

Peas...goto the @Home website, click 'full product catelouge', find your rug, click check stock, ask them to keep one. "Bada Bing", you now have a rug aticipating your collection. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - a solid ballistic missile, gotcha - would you reckon the hermaphroditic creatures could slug each other though?

Acidicice - but would people really go into that much effort? Possibly maybe. If they had tons of time on their hands and annoyance intent :)

Ches - I covered that yesterday in my huff - 'PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER JOBURG BRANCH WITH THE SAID RUG...EVEN IF ITS IN ALBERTON, THAT'S FINE.'

Turns out Bloem is the closest place. These rugs are flying off the shelves. That's how hot they are! :)

Ches said...

Well I'll sell you mine? I bought it yesterday at Design Quarter and it doesn't match my coffee table...

Peas on Toast said...

Ha Ha Funny guy. Half price?

Come on, do it for a mate! :)

Ches said...

SOLD!!! - TO THE PEA ON TOAST!
I managed to get a stain on it last night though, sorry, Goat went a bit 'awol'! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - well so glad to see you and the goat getting on dude. Bring him on Friday, we can enshrine him. ;)

Ches said...

Her...It's a she goat!(a shoat) ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Yes let;'s make that very clear - it's a she goat/shoat.

Because a male goat would just be wrong. (But then so would a goat. :)