Friday, June 27, 2008

reality tv reality scare (sometimes its so close... can almost touch it.) Spotty testosterone at its worst:

(Reality show with fistycuffs on MTV Base or something:)

Spotty Angst-Riddled Teenager Dude Number Wun: “Get out of the car!”
Number Two: “No come to talk to me in here!”
One: “Get out of my car!”
Number Two: “No come talk to me here!”
One: “Get out of my car!”
Number Two: “No come talk to me here!”

This argument was definitely going somewhere.

Reality TV can be UNbelievably entertaining sometimes, only for the most dogmatic, basic reasons.

Why? Because we thoroughly get off by dumb people.

So, who'd a thunk it? Hidden up there in the 180's on dsTV, on the frigging Home Channel...(move over Martha Stewart and Nigella Lawson, because this is going to blow the tits off your shows.)...lies Reality Gold it would seem.

On the Home Channel - this is pretty important - we have Fat Teens Can't Hunt. Where they've gone and dumped a whole lot of rotund teenagers in Borneo. And they have to find and make their own food, in the wild.

Whatever will they come up with next? This is better than crack!

(Speaking of crack, the plumber's crack on this show was wild. Not sexual wild, fucking Check What The Rock Is Cooking wild.)

And to top it off, (as if it could get any better), the teenagers were British chavs.
I have found a reality show that was made for me.

This shit is insane.

Chavs that were getting very serious with, “I'm fuckin' pissed off wiff fuckin' Jamie because he just goes an fuckin' eats ev'fing, knowwhadimayne?”

(Cue short angry puffs of her fag).

“An' serious-lay, there are a lot of uz here, and fuckin' hell, I'm sick an' tired of eatin' stupid shit wiff vegetables innit, innit.”

Channel 182, Thursdays, around 9:00 or so. I think. Maybe it was a once-off documentary, I have no idea. But it's thoroughly worth a glance.

Just remember the name 'Fat Kids Can't Hunt.' It's better than 'A Night Of Bliss With Pastor Chris' even.

And that was entertainment.


kyknoord said...

Stop it. You're scaring me now.

Vimbai said...

Lol, your tag is KILLING me here! I see i am not the only one who thinks that song has been killed :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - My mission is complete :)

Vimbai - I love the song, but yeah, it's in my head every waking moment of every waking day.....;)

Lisa said...

For real?
You're making this shit u.
This cannot be real.

Peas on Toast said...

Lisa - For fucken REAL. Word. Word to your MUTHA real.

This is how real it is: (link in two bits so you can copy it)

Charmskool said...

I saw it! The one enormous girl was saying "I've fuckin' haddit wiv vis plaice" puff puff "I want me proper food" puff puff "sob sob, oive not gorra proppa bed or nuffink!" puff, puff sob. The subtitles running underneath pointed out she had been there about 6 hours.

Peas on Toast said...

Charmskool - You hit the nail of the bleedin' head doll! That was EXACTLY it, word for word, innit! So glad you can saw it too.

Otherwise it's kind of like seeing a UFO and no one else being around to witness it.


zuzula said...

ahhh yes - i've seen that little gem over here too! it's classic...

Peas on Toast said...

Hiya Zu! How you didn't my little London mate?

I can't believe they actually air something like this - the title fused with the actual show there no level of depravity that is too great these days? ;)

leez said...

I may have just found a new past time. So its thursdays at 9 on the Home Channel? Why the Home Channel?

Hilarious. Where do they come up with this shit?

Peas on Toast said...

Dude, it sure beats the hell out of the Freaking Kardashians and Laguna Beach and sundry.... do you think the creative team was smoking tik when they come up with this?

Insane hey.

Revolving Credit said...

'Fat Kids Can't Hunt'??

Why not 'Fat Kids Can be Hunted'??

Let these yobs loose in the jungle and then have the local pigmies hunt them down??

It's quite simple, it's like Survivor, if you survive you win.

Now, I'd watch that!! Even place bets on my favourite pigmy.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I know, since the location of Borneo is slightly more exotic than say, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, one would think that the scope for extras such as pygmies, pythons on the loose and such is huge. I mean, why not up the viewing pleasure from 150% to 1000%?

There's ALWAYS room for more. Always.

Revolving Credit said...

There's ALWAYS room for more. Always.

That's how they got that fat in the first place.

Peas on Toast said...


Coffee Hore said...

What's worse - The fact that we PAY to watch this load of crap or the fact that there are people that actually compete on these shows. Where do they get all these weirdo's?

Revolving Credit said...

Is 'A Night Of Bliss With Pastor Chris late night soft porn?

Mini said...

"I'll make luurve to you behind the DJ box"

I luurve when the claws come out in reality TV...Nothing turns me on more than seeing woman bitchslap one another

zuzula said...

hello darling! believe it or not this marvellous programme was made for the BBC. Hurray for public funding..... ;)

The Divine Miss M said...

Hahaha I almost worked on that show, most hysterical thing EVER!

I love British Chav TV :)