on top

When I went to Cape Town, after I'd been retrenched, smashed 'n grabbed, broken up with the boyfriend, (5 months ago...shit); when it was all “WTF just all happened?,” I found this Killers song.

Feverishly, while I hid away in my house for two months pondering if I'd ever leave, and whether pet stores deliver cats.

I'm not a Killers fan to the point of distraction, I like their stuff at the appropriate moments, they're talented guys.
But I'm not completely flattened by their prodigal being.
I'm just saying.

But anyway, found this song lurking on my iPod, and I listened to it a lot, during possibly the shittest time I've had ever in my 27.5 years. On repeat, over and over again. The lyrics meant nothing to me, yet the song was my OCD vice.

The lyrics of the song (On Top) on careful observation (and a bit of Googling), go like this:

Remember Rio and get down
It's another DJ, it's another town
She's been trying to tell me to hold tight
But I've been waiting this whole night
But I've been down across the road or two
But now I've found the velvet sun
That shines on me and you

In the back, uh huh, I can't crack [The uh huh's must be important - Ed]
We're on top
It's just a shimmy and a shack, uh huh
I can't fake, we're on top
We're on top

The day is breaking, we're still here
Your body's shaking, and it's clear
You really need it, so let go
And let me beat it, but you know

That I've been down across the road or two
But now I've found the velvet sun
That shines on me and you

And we don't mean to satisfy tonight
So get your eyes off my bride tonight
Cause I don't need to satisfy tonight

It's like a cigarette in the mouth
Or a handshake in the doorway
I look at you and smile because I'm fine

Why do we choose “songs” for appropriate moments? Is it the words, the song itself? Is it because 94.7 plays it over and over again?

I mean, with relation to the lyrics and my once-depraved existence:

1)I haven't been to Rio. Yet.
2)I can't fake. Never been able to. But do think it's an admirable quality that many people manage to attain.
3)We're on top. No china. I'm on top. That's the way I like it.
4)I have been down a road or two. But hasn't everyone?
5)The velvet sun shines on me and you. Yes, when I sit outside, it certainly does.
6)Shimmy and a shack. I've shimmied in shacks, but mostly in buildings made of bricks and mortar and fake rocks. Because that's the reality of suburban Johannesburg.
7)Who cares?

He's talking about a woman, this we know. And he reckons he's all in control when he's not, and he's all gung ho and whatever, when meanwhile probably his little heart was breaking. He's trying to pretend and convince himself all is good. So the fuck what.

But there's one chorus that does mean something:
It's like a cigarette in the mouth
Or a handshake in the doorway
I look at you and smile because I'm fine

All I can really relate to is that – because a lot of the aftermath of that week was pretending I was fine. But, now: I really am fucking fine.

Even if someone says to me, “Peas you're a stupid cock knocker,” I'm so fine.
Or “Peas, you suck donkey dick,” still fine.

If someone said, “Peas your rug sucks,” I'd fuck them up. Because you can insult me all you like, but stand there and insult my rug? Come and say that over here.

But that song takes me back to a dark time. So unrelatable to where I am now.
So, yeah. Thanks to The Killers okes for giving me something to do while I agonised about how I was to pick myself, and my life, up again. And look, I did.

I got an email yesterday:

This new rug of yours - are we talking Flokati? My house got robbed a few years ago before we had the electric fence, and the buggers stole just one thing - my massive white Flokati. It was a terrible terrible day.

Dude, burglars with taste? Those who say, 'This TV is lame, let's rather nick the Flokati.'
Shut up.

Bitch Tits. I'd better get insurance, for indeed it is a Flokati, my rug. I am still very much in the lust phase of our relationship.

I need to ensure that it isn't fucking zyphed, or I might just have to revert back to my Killers playlist, you know what I'm saying.