So my pilates instructor discovered that my left side is uncharacteristically longer than my right, yesterday.
Was falling off a lot of giant balls when trying to balance upside down, and backwards; due to overall isonomic being a touch awry.
I can ride a bike. I can ski. But apparently my balance is a little bit F-Bombed. And all due to, not ear fluid, but because my left side is at least a centimetre longer than my right.
But apparently she could cure this. How the fuck do you cure length without shaving one centremetre off my left leg with a scythe please? She made me do this funny stretchy thing, and hell's tits, Bob's your aunty, no flippen ways, the two legs were suddenly equal.
Just like that click click.
Pilates is David Copperfield's secret subsidiary, it so the fuck turns out.
She simply explained 'unexplainable out-of-kilter longness' as 'an unnatural shift in my biometrics.'
And if I could just get my transverse muscle nice and toight, then I'll be apples.
Not that I ever noticed this before, or stuff.
Went out to dinner with C2 and Poen last night. For a scrummy curry. Arrived, took a seat at the head of the table and to mein horror: couples evening.
For about 0.02 seconds I thought, 'Hello Bridget Jones.'
Except, what a hoot. And also hopefully:
1)I have better hair than Jones
2)I don't wear granny pants underwear like Jones
3)The circumference of my thighs is hopefully a great deal less than that of Jones (especially after so much Pilates. I mean Christ)
Was so great catching up with my little friends over curry, 8 000 poppodums and Sauvignon Blanc. Great restaurant in Peter Place too, actually.
Also it must be said – whenever there's a curry evening, anywhere, anyhow, there are always the inevitable table familiars like 'Wow dudes. Gonna need to put the bog roll in the freezer after this Vindaloo, youknowwhadImean...'
But we reckon a hot curry is aces in comparison to the hedonistic concoction of, say, 4 x canes, 3 x Jaegermeisters and 1 x Lamb Korma (all in quick succession.)
Wonder if that's ever been tried before. On boys obviously. 'Cos it would never affect girls.