glad wrapped toilet & sea sundry

So, hello pikey.

Chavtastic:

I spent a little bit of time in the full on sun today and am an awesome shade of orangey pink.
A lobster that got out of the sun JUST in time, and hopefully when I awake, I will be golden brown like the rest of the Europeans here.

Water-side gin and tonics. Lost track of time, just chilling on the beach sipping on cocktails with the rest of the population. Not my [direct] fault.

Rhodes is not authentically Greek. It really reminds me of the Thai islands, to be honest. A little like Ko Tao. Where some of the architecture just looks out of place, if not a little tatty. But in all fairness, have only seen this side of the island. Will explore the rest tomorrow.

God I’m being chowed by mosquitoes right now, hell’s noombies.

But I like the tattyness. Charm. We realised after some exploration that we’ve been put on the windy leeside (?) part of the island, and the beach and water are beautifully warm, but there are other better covey beaches to see, that’s for certain.

Walking into the sea takes co-ords. Co-ords I do not own, ok. Especially when the wind is waaing, and I’m carrying an inflated pink lilo that just about gives me enough wingspan to take the fuck off.

Plus the pebbles. Ouch muthafucka. You need to get off your feet as soon as possible, which means floating on a wave that is 2 centimetres off the ground in order to have in-tact feet. It hurts. It’s pretty – but the pebbles don’t make for swan-like disposition on entering the ocean.

Still. We swam, tanned, lolled about drinking mojitos and even managed to do random spurts of work in between. Then for dinner, found this unbelievable old castle, plonked in the Old Town, just somma. Must really look up what the fuck it is in my trusty old guidebook.

We’re hiring wheels tomorrow to go and explore this huge island. ‘Wheels’, because me and American Colleague are scared of mopeds (after my accident on Ko Phang Nan – it’s cool, I will stick to a car, am terrified after breaking my knee open), and the boys will do bikes.

Ate another huge platter tonight. Aubergines, tzatziki, the whole vibe.

Seen a lot of hair. I’m just saying.

PS: Oh and another thing: You gotta love the Swiss, holy haloumi.
This is a toilet. Yes, for real.

When you press the red button though, the glad wrap on the seat shuffles away. It rotates, but ends eventually. Trust me, I checked. Chilled in the can for like 20 minutes pushing the red button to see. Had so much fun in that water closet, Christ. It rotates only for the purest, most efficient of hygiene purposes. In a restaurant in Rodos Old Town.

Fuck, what a pleasure; and a hoot. Coulda spent hours in the bog pressing that red button. Clever Swiss. God you guys have it all going on.

PPS: Yes yes. So I spelt 'convenient' wrong in the paint tooled-picture. But I'm on a 50% holiday. Blow me.