Thursday, September 18, 2008

a plant called faivel

The Ant is in town.

I haven't seen my little Italian amica in so long, too long. She came round for dinner which I cunningly prepared by throwing in a whole lot of Woolies chicken a la Kings into pots and pretending, too humbly, that I crafted it by myself.

Even if she saw the empty boxes in the bin, it was a good show.

We exchanged birthday presents, had a fair bitch about this and that, and bloody hell, how fucking hilarious is this birthday card: Christ what a hose.

So instead of wallowing, we popped a champagne cork and caught up on weeks and weeks worth of gossip and trouble.

And the best news? She's coming back. Ant is leaving the Poenda, and heading back to the corporate cattle barn of Johannesburg. That's just about all the right news I needed to lift me out of the “Hello I'm Peas 'Strike Rate' On Toast” scenario.

I plan to embrace my strike rate synopsis.
What does this look like? [Holding up a pen]
'Your strike rate Peas.'
What does this remind you of? [holding up a tub of frozen yoghurt]
'Your strike rate Peas.'

I'm talking about my current unflailing ability to pick up men of course. My NBGF (New Best Gay Friend - the one who works in my building) seems to think should be my next focus. Bless him.

I'm feeling better. Pilates also hammered me the fuck out of my funk. God, did my trainer not decide to lambaste my arms.

If she's not careful, she is going to find herself as 1 in 3 million in my B Team.

Picking up a pen today and pronouncing how great my strike rate is, will take a mean bit of effort and wincing.

Anyway Ant and her dude are moving back to The Big Smoke (although Secunda could be called the same thing; that place smells like 1 in 3 million rotten eggs.)

I'm so excited; she'll be back in December.

She bought me a kiff plant for my house as well. A plant that needs water maybe every 10 years. That's my kind of plant. She called it Faivel.

I'm stoked, and my head is a little sore today.

At least I'm not helplessly staring at a wall. Just saying.


c@th said...

FUCK YES! i got that card for my birthday this year from larcy! !!

Peas on Toast said...

c@th - oooh FUCK YES! Is this just not the birthday card of the century! Our friends have great taste...but then they're friends with us, innit? ;)

Mini said...


I think I am gona invest in a Koi pond and I think you should too.You get these little ponds that you can put in a flat so space aint an issue(I was thinking of them baby koi).Hopefully by the time they grow big you can afford your own place with a bigass pond.(Fuck the relationship)

Peas on Toast said...

Mini - now you're speaking my language. Because I want to sjoosh up my balcony for summer (no garden sadly!), and a bit of zen and fish sounds just up my street. I'd need a mini pond, maybe two Koi (called I& J?) Can you dig it?

JL said...

Ant sounds fun. Like in Crocodile Dundee when Dundee goes to the city and is all like "this is fun". Speaking of coffee I haven't had any in a while and it's making my non-cohesive banter cohesive. There goes the neighbourhood.

PS Peas we're still getting married remember,so don't worry about the strike rate. I'm going to a wedding tomorrow - if I catch the bouquet we're on, but then we'd be lesbians. Is that ok?

Peas on Toast said...

jl - Keen. But then if we get married, my strike rate disappears. And it's my intention to drive it up as much as possible.

But then you seem nice, so let's get hitched.

Ches said...

Did someone say lesbians?

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - sorry what huh?

po said...

Ches + a lesbian = a Chesbian?

Peas on Toast said...

hahaha :)

Billy said...

Lesbians? Where? What variety?

Peas on Toast said...

Here Billy Billy, here!

Over here guy!



Ches said...

See Peas, told you!

Po, did you just call me a Chesbian?

po said...

Ches, I meant it in the nicest way possible :)

Peas, thank you for introducing met to Pilates, it is helping all my injuries to cause less pain in my spine.

Peas on Toast said...

awesome po, youve discovered the secret! I must say I am enjoying pilates more and more - and am going to keep banging away at it until I look like a toned goddess. Oh yes!

zuzula said...

hurrah for the return of The Ant! She of the Handbag has just moved into my neighbourhood too. Reunions all round i think!

Peas on Toast said...

Zu - no ways, seriously! Oh wow, it's going to be like the good old days for all of us!
Hurrah for her return as well!

Miss T said...

hey lassie your strike rate can't be that bad...what about your hunky Brit in Greece?

Peas on Toast said...

hHhahaha Miss T :)

No I'm being sarcastic I promise. I was finding reasons to feel down, but I'm ok. xx