If there's one universal thing on this planet- and besides everyone's genuine hatred of Nazi's – besides the Nazi's themselves – that is – is how people fucken drive in the rain.
OK maybe Britain is exempt from this particularly sterling disfortitude.
Only because they live their lives in the rain and wear black clothing to celebrate.
But suck on my non-existent malehood and call me The Stig, because when it starts to rain people drive like fucken retards.
The two thundershowers for the season have been swell, don't get me wrong. But seriously – it's called a clutch. And you don't have to drive like a geriatric with a Zimmer frame.
I think I've managed to get my headset right again regards to the no smoking thing. Haven't smoked since the weekend, so maybe there's hope for me yet.
I'm refraining and - except on afternoons when it rains and people publicly wank in the streets – it's cool.
Albeit I plan to spend the week cocooned in my house. Not smoking socially, literally, blows.
So I'll just hole myself in. Maybe if I just never go anywhere again it will be fine. FUCK. IT'S SO FUCKING UNFAIR! EX-SMOKERS WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE NON-SMOKERS. GOD. I AM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED AND NOT HAPPY WITH THIS.
But it's fine. I don't need to go to wild parties every single night, and even if I did, I could easily drink 2 bottles of wine, become comatose and not remember to smoke. Because 2 glasses of wine only just EXACERBATES THIS EMPTY AWFUL FEELING THAT SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY MISSING.
Are you happy now? (Not quite sure who I am addressing.)
I'm never going to be happy ever again! If I do smoke I'm unhappy because I hate myself for doing it, and if I don't smoke I'm unhappy because something is missing and social stuff sucks donkey dick.
ARRGH THE FRUSTRATION IS SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY, GETTING ON MY TITS.
Work, home, even cafe's! Basically ANY activity except jolling is fine without cigarettes. I don't crave them otherwise.
So what gives.
[Besides my frayed nerves?]
PS: Thank fuck for Californication. I'm just saying.
“I feel like an old woman whose uterus is falling out.”
Yeah me too.
“Seriously? You really know what that feels like? Because I was only being dramatic."
PS: Just because I love her so much, and because she's an absolute professional, and because she's going to rock the tits off this: take a look at The Little Black Book. Well done on your new website guys!