Wednesday, October 29, 2008

towns with festive names & naff music

1) Have just finished Petite Anglaise.

Have never read her blog, but for purposes of contrast, research and curiosity – I bought the book. A handful of us have published books as a direct result of our blogs, and so I'm interested to see what they have to say.
Her book is, I suppose, loosely based on events or characters true to her life. Hell, I rather enjoyed her memoir – she really does make me want to live in Paris more than my heart aches to.
I think I'll send her one of my books and see if she likes mine.

2) I can now do Saturday Night Fever for my parents. How delighted they will be. Seeing their rythmically-challenged spawn attempt 70s disco fever. Friends can watch if they pay me. I accept Mastercard.

3) Please may I wake up and have my normal laugh again. What the fuck, it's been almost three weeks of guffawing like the village idiot.

I woke up and suddenly had this terrible affliction – I'd engineered a new laugh in my sleep, and it was completely involuntary. Unladylike. Loud. And it terrifies people. I need to keep a low profile in Israel, so that I don't piss of any...militarist cock... and actually get to Brazil.

4) Was listening to The Stylistics last night. I just love those guys. It's the naffest boy-band-of-the-70s stuff you'll ever quite experience, but it reminds me of France. Always.

I used to play this shit in the Ford Escort I got to drive around the countryside, shunting kids to ballet. I was young – 18 and platinum blonde – those were the days – and the village I lived in near Grenoble was ideal for back country driving. I'd whack the Stylistics on, and drive for miles around the countryside through little towns, listening to this shit, and marvelling at how achingly beautiful it was around me.

Either the Alps were covered in snow, or it was stunningly green and rolling. The Rhone-Alpes are beautiful, I highly recommend it.
Maybe when the global crisis has handbreaked it's fucking self, go for a holiday.

To think I lived in a town that consisted of a fire station, 'mairie' or mayor's office, a cathedral and a boulangerie. That was it. I spent my year driving through little Frenchy villages – and like I was telling someone yesterday, a town called Chatte the one time.

Chatte is directly translatable to Pussy. It was a real...hole.
Actually I'm lying. It was a...pleasant spot.

5) Oh and because I need to worry more about Brazil and whether I'm going to make it past New Year alive, a mate sent me this, on the apparent obsession with the dirt track.
“And if they kidnap you Peas, they won't be asking for it.”

6) While hanging like a ripe pair of donkey's bollocks – over lunch on Sunday– Mum was asking me a whole lot of shit I couldn't answer because a) I was catatonic, b) I didn't know the answers to her questions and c) I was not all there.

One she asked though, was whether Tel Aviv is on the coast. Rocket science for a Sunday hangover, Jesus. But I've found the answer now and it looks rather temperate. No A-bombs in the picture like Nagasaki.
But I suppose F-Bombs (“Fuck Almighty!”) are out of the question. Must control my mouth, which flows like a sewer.

The city itself means “Hill Of Spring.” Bless.

17 comments:

Revolving Credit said...

Hahaha...the drkside of Latin Lovers!

Always wondered why those llamas had such a strange walk.

Sounds like your llama may be in for some action!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I couldn't think of anythign worse right now.

Especially since most of them walk aroudn with dental floss inbetween their buttcheeks.

Revolving Credit said...

Stop been such a tight ass!

That may just make you more appealing!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - so you're saying it would be better to have a backside as large as the Ngorogoro Crator than be a tight ass?

I'm taking a chastity belt on holiday with me!

Revolving Credit said...

Big ass..stick a packet of mielie meal in you knickers, just to plump up your bum.

Though you would need to be careful at customs in cas they suspect you of trying to traffic drugs.

"So mam, what's that protruding from your posterior?"
"Oh, that? It's just my butt crack"

Peas on Toast said...

hahahahahaha, ah Rev, if you were ever to disappear I'd miss the fuck out of ya.

'That's just my crack!'

hahahahahaha

Revolving Credit said...

You wanna laugh?

I just pickup this movie trailer off IOL

Peas on Toast said...

oOH LOVE A BIT OF LAUGHTER IN THE MORNING, THANKS rEVVIE!

FiOnion said...

I can just see the headlines now..

"BRAZILIAN MAFIA SURVIVES TEN DAYS WITH PEAS"....

Peas on Toast said...

FiOnion - I hope that's all it says my china.

And not, 'BRAZILIAN MAFIA RIPS THE HELL OUT OF PEAS' RINGHOLE.'

God. Did I just say that out loud? Is it possible that I am gettign more lewd as time goes on.

Ah well. Fuck the world and it's bullshit. * sigh *

xxx

Kitty Cat said...

I checked out Petite Anglaise and she's quite funny and writes well! You should read her blog too.

Peas on Toast said...

Kitty - yeah I believe so. I will def go through her archives sometime. I believe she's very popular!

Kitty Cat said...

Peas, could I ask you for a bit of blog help? How do you do strikethroughs to your text on blogger? (Or underlines or anything of that sort for that matter?) I see you use them sometimes, and I just cannot see how/where to go for all that stuff!

Peas on Toast said...

No probs at all Kitty, it took me months to learn all this stuff too.

Strikethroughs arethese brckets <> just before the word with an 's' inside them. I'd write it out, but it won't let me post it in here. after the word, put those brackets again and with /s inside.

underline is same thing but with a 'u' in those brackets, and italics is an 'i'.

Does that make any sense at all?

Kitty Cat said...

Sort of, do you do all this in HTML mode? So I do < then an s then close it with >? Is that right?

Peas on Toast said...

Yip, so what you do is this:

Open bracket, s, close bracket. Then Stcik your word/sentence in afterwards. Then close word/sentence with the same format except with a /s. Not just an s.


So open with an s, write the sentence and close with a /s.

Kitty Cat said...

Thanks so much Peas! I'll give it a try. Yesterday I was trying it, but for some reason it was strike-through-ing from the word right to the end of the post! A whole post struck out! Hee hee. But I must've done something wrong. Will give it another go.