Thursday, February 12, 2009

a kiff present. for little old meeeee

Am tired and strung out right now, so when I got a surprise gift delivered to me from a stranger, I hit the silver lining of my day.

Three bottles –a tri-set – of Pierre Jourdan sparkling wines. Hell, a two litre bottle of Autumn Harvest Crackling would’ve been a treat, but I hear this is special stuff.
It came with an awesome note from someone who enjoys my blog and who enjoyed my book.

Cripes, any bird loves a present!

And yesterday, I was so exhausted, this gesture was another reminder of just how thoughtful and generous people can be. I should’ve done what any self-respecting bitch like myself would’ve done – popped the cork, sat in my waterlogged hammock and pulled out the champers glasses.

Instead, I ended up phoning my mother no less than 5 times, my stepfather 3 and their home phone another 2 in a crazed frenzy, because they were strangely absent. And sadly, after a few hours of disappearance your brain starts to manifest with horrible thoughts.

Perhaps if they lived in Chad, I wouldn’t start to panic. I wouldn’t start thinking, ‘Fuck. Are they tied up? No. Maybe they went to see a movie. No. Car accident? Oh fuck. Wouldn’t the cops have phoned me by now? Fuck, I don’t even have the neighbours number.’
Then awful, tangible images of what could’ve happened to them. Maybe it’s because we live in Gauteng.
Maybe it’s because I’m on edge right now.
Maybe it’s because they always have their phones on them.

Arrrgh, really. Do I phone her sister in New Zealand? Can’t phone Grandmere because she keeps on asking me when she can read my book and I just can’t face explaining to her why that would be a bad idea.

‘Mais Petits Pois - Eez eet een Excluseeve Books?’
‘Well..not really one anywhere near to where you live Grandmere. I sent one to you but it must’ve got lost in the post.’
‘Ah oui. Ze poste.’
Mum’s going to suggest that it’s written in Afrikaans.

Hang on, so where is my mother?

I sat and chewed my nails for an hour. I never chew my nails.

Turns out they ran a night race in Irene or something. What the fuck.

Little Britain wasn’t even distractingly entertaining, it was downright annoying.

But the Ant and the Gilb are coming round for dinner tonight (What the dickens will I make? I haven’t cooked in….6 months) but at least I have some ooh la la tres tres bubbly to pass around, and the Ant being a wine snob, should surely be impressed.


icepick said...

...I also think like that sometimes? Im in CPT. so its not just gauteng orientated. But geographical location prob does play a role?

It could perhaps be that theres much nasty shit on the news most nights. Plus we always hearing about SA crime and crap.

But other than that? Why go into a state of panic without logically thinking it out? I do it as well. whaas worse is that when one is in a state of panic, theres no such thing as logic. so the overthinking tends to lead towards paranoia and fear

Whats even more weird is at times, I worry about stupid things. Like last month I couldnt stop thinking about me bro getting into a car accident. I was not sleeping becos of it. And over the past weekend. He was in quite a heavy car accident. Car almost totaled. Hes kewl tho.
Quite fucking strange. Perhaps these strange, panicy thoughts that manifest in our heads, are a clear indication what bad thinking can do?

ahhahaa whatever. ill shutup now.

Peas on Toast said...

icepick - shew dude, hang on besides all the true interpretations of panic that I agree with you with: that when one is in a state of panic, theres no such thing as logic. so the overthinking tends to lead towards paranoia and fear, you're absolutely right - let's talk about your bro's car accident for five and a half seconds!

China, are you clairvoyant? Cos that's pretty disturbing dude, having dreams and vission of something horrible and traumatic and then it plays out. That's heavy going. Has this ever happened to you before?

icepick said...

haha Peas I dont believe in supernatural and all that hype. Im much a realist.

No psychic babble, no Devine hand, no magic. No surreal dreams.

This just happens time to time. I overthink. I worry. And shit just occurs?

Coincidence..Thats all it is right? Just another one of many that happen daily. Many of us dont notice all the coincidences in our lives, cos we too busy. I find when im looking for them, they occur regularly..

Then theres also Synchronicity, Which can get rather hectic, depending on the coincidence. For example, ill have read an article on wikipedia. then the very next day, that article is presented as the "pick of the day". Or You are thinking of someone, and that very second, that person walks into the room(being it very unlikely that they would).

Check it out, its fascinating. Focuses more on the relationship between minds tho.

Peas on Toast said...

icepick - fascinating indeed - I'll definitely check it out. Thing is I have a problem with coincidence. Do things happen sofr a reason or do they just happen? I think they just happen - at least with regards to my life. Finding meaning in everything, or in things I have gone through or even acgieved in the last couple of years would do my head in. A lot of it is chance, and a lot of it has happened - I don't think I have a fixed destiny per se. Hey, my hand doesn't even have a Fate Line - everyone else's does though.

But this sure is interesting - am going to check it out. And yes I suppose you could looks at your situation in two ways, but it does beg the question - why was yoru brain fixated on those thoughts and how did they come true??

I guess some things we just cannot answer or define.

icepick said...

Meaningful coincidences are prob about as meaningful as one wants them to be?
Im also not a fan of destiny. But ive been told there are somewhat plausible arguments that fate exists. But there are equal plausible reasons for unpredetermined course of events aswell. free will.

Like one taking their own life becos of frustration, depression and anger, and the reaction is that your heart was the only heart that could have saved a young girl, who grows up, succeeds in life and saves the world from some unimaginable disease that threatens the human race. Destiny? hahaha

Anyways.. Coincidences..One of the many "Worlds unanswerables" i take..

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Aw crap...I should've thought of that...or...maybe I did!! LOL

No. It wasn't me. Dammit.

There is nothing WORSE than not being able to get hold of's amazing how the mind goes cuh-razy!
Shame hun!

When are we jaegerbombing?

Peas on Toast said...

Blondie - it's nuts hey? I mean, back in the good old days this instantaneous gratification par telephone was non-existent, and having the old faithfuls pick up no matter what...then suddenly not...The Panic! :)

I owe you about 1000 birthday drinks, so whatcha up to this weekend hon? Maybe we should do something, and do something STRONG!:)

Cecily said...

It's completely rational to think that way - I live up the road from you (yes i know where you live, feeling the celebrity pressure,yet? :-) just joking,cool pic in my week btw)because crap just happens too often in our 'hood.

And the awesomeness of receiving free stuff can never be overstated - congrats :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Wow Cecily you do?? Do you see me wrestling with my hammock on the blacony? Because if you do, then yes I'm feeling the pressure :) Kidding...sort of


But seriously, I've heard Carighall has had some problems - particularly as a hi-jacking hotspot - which is just GREAT really.
They supposedly follow the madams from Hyde Park Woolies home. There was a syndicate involved, so yes be careful. Sadly a harsh reality here.

kyknoord said...

You sure your mother isn't a burglar? "Night race" sounds highly suspicious to me.