Wednesday, March 25, 2009

third person speak

There are two Peas at the moment.

There’s the one side of Peas, so flipping excited to escape. All the time. Always looking to fuck off somewhere.
In one month, I would’ve just landed in Amsterdam with The Dove.
In twelve hours, I would’ve just landed in Cape Town with C2 and N.

There’s the Peas who lives to escape to completely different geographical locations.
And gags for new experiences, literally feeling goosebumps when she checks out the (new!) Streetview in Amsterdam. It’s fucking rad.

Then there’s the Peas who is fairly happy and content with everything here at the moment, who loves her home and loves leaving stray bras hanging over the couch, opening a Diemersfontein Pinotage and absorbing herself in all the comforts of an incredible workplace, a kiff home and having a fucken good giggle with friends in her city of lieu.

There’s the Peas that hates her new Emo fringe, her muffin tops, her expensive shoe fetish, her bad judgement, her basic flaws.

Then there’s the Peas that sweeps back the bloody fringe with the aid of hairclips, goes on a lactose-gluten-free diet, loses weight, gets great skin, celebrates her shoes, and admits to her basic flaws with a ‘well we all have flaws right, none of us are Jesus?’ and knows she’s a good person.

There’s the Peas with incredibly bad taste in music, is impulsive and does stupid shit, forgets where her keys are, drinks too much wine before a big day, is too trusting, is too open, does hip hop moves in a corporate environment.

Should take her make-up off before hitting the pillow, is eccentric, should spend her disposable income on a house she actually owns instead of overseas travel.
Shouldn’t consider buying state-of-the-art Bauhaus plastic chairs for R2000 a pop, should be more organised, should go to the gym, should do pilates three times a week, not once, and the Peas that gets lonely sometimes.

But then there’s the Peas who thinks bad taste in music is always relative, (if the world is made up of 4 billion people, someone out there has also got to listen to ESP 2 on a stretched tape in the traffic. Somewhere, somehow. And also believe it’s all in good taste, if not the peak of excellent judgement.)

Always finds her keys eventually, enjoys a good wine for all its fruity fortitude (Diemersfontein Pinotage isn’t exactly box wine from Brakenfell).
Trusts because true fulfilment and being honest goes hand in hand, is open because that’s what she is, does hip hop because she can now and frankly, its good exercise.
Not taking her make-up off after a good night means it was a good night, embraces that she’s eccentric – with a father like hers doesn’t have a choice. Who reckons that overseas travel is paramount to owning a box in Sunninghill [is all I could afford on my own] and travel is better than owning that.

Considers buying cool Italian-imported plastic furniture because she a) can, and b) it blows Weylandt’s out of the water.
Is the epitome of Organised Chaos – which is still organised, and pilates once a week is better than none at all, and knows her next snog will definitely be fun.

There’s the Peas who feels bogged down by the societal expectations of life.
Then there’s the Peas who knows she’s so fucking lucky, because she’s done things that society never considered of her or expected of her, even if it doesn’t fit into ‘the norm.’

There’s the Peas who wants a fucken dog.
But is getting a cat instead, who is like a dog. Because her lifestyle and domicile dictate it.

There’s the Peas that is disappointed she cannot speak 6 languages fluently yet.
Then there’s the Peas who is consistently working on it. One step at a time.

There’s the Peas who wonders how her path in life has had a completely different outcome from what she ever expected. Who thinks about this ad infinitum over Pinotage in a bath full of bubbles and other tub-like detritus.

Then there’s the Peas who knows she’s done more than she ever imagined doing. The book was a pipedream, a goal she never thought would come to fruition, and working for one of the best companies in the world was at one point never even a consideration. And experiencing a few relationships in one 28-year old lifetime is in some way enriching.

There’s the Peas who thinks ‘Freak whatcha lookin’ at?’ when a random guy smiles at her somewhere.
Then there’s the Peas who smiles back and thinks, ‘Well he’s rather dishy innit.’

There’s the Peas who chastises her thighs.
And there’s the Peas who thinks ‘I like the way your thighs move, kid’ when she dances.

There’s the Peas who thinks, ‘if a brick falls from the sky, hits me on the head and I peg on impact,’ she would be happy with what she’s succeeded in so far. If it very suddenly all came to a comotic end.

And there’s the Peas that thinks ‘Fuck no. Fight through the brick coma, bitch. There’s so much that can still happen and be done.’

There’s the Peas who zones out to Heat magazine. There’s also the Peas that thinks about this stupid ‘life’ shit after too many glasses of the fermented grape.

There’s the Peas who is plenty excited to festivise with mates in Cape Town and do the honours of being a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding this weekend.

Then there’s the Peas who realises she’s been talking in the third person this whole time, and apologises profusely for it.

24 comments:

Monkigirl said...

Brilliant post again today :-D

Most people our age can only wish they have lived a life like yours so far. And it's only just the beginning...

Legend...

Peas on Toast said...

Thank you Monkigirl, thanks a bunch my sweetheart. I feel very very blessed.

I also often wonder if I'd be in the same place had I got married, bought 2.4 labradors and a white picket fence. One day. Maybe.
;)

Monkigirl said...

Now you make me feel uber depressed. I'm now wondering where I'd have been if I wasn't about to get married, had 1.5 Airedale terriers and a white pallisade fence...

Peas on Toast said...

Monkigirl, hey don;t be depressed! Hey! HEY! (Is your fence really white know - I have to know!)
I also want that stuff one day. I really really do, I just don't see it happening sadly :( You're a lucky girl! :)

PS: Congrats on your engagement! xx

Monkigirl said...

It really is white :-)

I think it's human nature to think the grass is greener, but we should really just accept that our current paths is probably our ideal paths and to then enjoy it to the greatest extent that we can. Maybe that picket fence (be it white or otherwise) would've been like a prison to you.

Peas on Toast said...

Monkigirl - I know at 25, the thought of fences was like a prison sentence. But then I think that's because I felt so young and still had tons of shit to do. But you're so right - the grass always seems greener, and today I am thankful for what I have, who I am and what I know. As I'm sure you are :)
xxx

Tower said...

oh peas. you're a rock star and it makes me smile to think that in a new year of master's doing, FIFA schmoozing and slaapstad sussing I've forgotten to have a squizz at your site. I'm an Idiot. Beautiful post bud;)

Life's ALWAYS gonna be just like that and that's what makes it all so damn wonderful. Never settle, never stop re figuring, never berate too much, never die. I like it. Anyway, back to my third person Towering with a smile on my mug...

Peas on Toast said...

Howzit Tower!
Congrats on your Masters! Vey very cool. I am always in total awe of those who are brainy-brainy and study further - pushing themselves as much as possible. Congrats!! :)
Keep smiling, because as you say, we never stop learning right?
xx

frozen-heart said...

bloody hell! tween peas (third person,, monki and tower i feel to shed a 'mushy' tear! hey and that is no means a sarky comment- you ou's have me thinking real life here! hell! hey i have a white picket (it really is white) i have 2 jackruss's that i love to hate, rented space and a golf GTi, i had a husby once but now i dont, he did give me tho what i live for - 1 boy aged 12 :) so inatweena all your words, all of yous! it all makes sense to me and has me want to shed this tear.
aaah the joy of being intrinsically at a place of ..erm ... almost nirvana ;)

today your blog shines peas! it's almost mushy or can i spell it the way i say it > mooshy ;) it hits home! ta x

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Frozen! And congrats on your boy - that has got to be one of the greatest achievements in life (I can only guess?), having a child. You're a brave soul, and am glad my post hit home - it means my work is done! xx

Tower said...

between book publishing, marrying and terrier housing, rock star child raising and mastering I'd say we're on track this little group of pea 'ers...

Happy day strangers, its gonna be a goodie.

Peas on Toast said...

Absolutely Tower. Between all of us here I think we've done alright kids :)

Today is definitely going to be a goodie! The sun is shining, it's hump day, and...I'm eating rice crackers.

It's going to be a GREAT day.

PS: All this positivity! Shew hey!

Monkigirl said...

**GROUP HUG***

Now get back to work... ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

aww! But shittttt do I have a bit to do before going to Slaapstad....eeek!

po said...

Po feels like this all the time. She feels like there are at least 2 people in her. It is interesting how friends and family see you in a certain way, but sometimes you can be the complete opposite.

I have a similar dilemma with the travelling thing. I think you are wise to be doing it now, cos when you get older you may not get to!

Revolving Credit said...

I thought you said that there were 2 Peas?
Reading this makes me think that there's a whole herd of Peas.

po said...

Rev what is the collective noun for Peas? A herd? a pod? a gaggle?

Maybe a mushy of Peas?

Revolving Credit said...

A Poen of Peas?

Anique said...

I love this about you and your posts. Its your "humaness". I find it refreshing and comforting to read your blogs. Keep up the great work :)

Peas on Toast said...

hahah, just come back from a meeting - a pod of Peas? It's so nice to feel like I'm not alone - thanks guys :)

Thanks Anique also for popping by, very much apprecaited! x

livingladolcevita said...

We're chicks, chick. Schizophrenia is what we do. Right?

Wallfish said...

Dude: you're one crazy son-of-a-gun. And sometimes we fight but always remember this: Whaley is fucking proud of you. Don't go buying the chairs though - not the right time.

Peas on Toast said...

Ah Whaley! Bless your heart babe. I love you too :) We fight but that's why I love you - you're like my little brother dude. I miss you boychie, even from Cape Town.

PS: Don't worry, I'm hanging ten on the chairs. Was just giving it some consideration. :)

getaway said...

Wow guys, heart felt. You are so inspiring peas.

I too appreciate just being. Its free. Why do we have to do an assessment every time we experience a mood-change?

2.4 my ass, there are still many adventures!!

No one really cares about what the correct form of saying is, at one point everyone experiences someone within themselves, they don't know.

And freedom is to be able to accept and appreciate anyway.

You guys are all awesome - peas, i voted for you on SA's best blogs.

peace