Friday, June 12, 2009

can I just say...

Happy Christmas, Security.

I should've been more astute. My fault. But seriously: to confiscate my two bottles of Diemersfontein Pinotage?

I get it - no liquids. Even a vile of spit isn't allowed these days. My bad, should've remembered the Memo.

At least fucking go home and enjoy it. But no, the sin of sins was to dump it, fully sealed, into the nearest dustbin.
That, I'm afraid, was nothing short of the most sacrilegous sacrilege on the planet.
Worse than, say, the Virgin lady's look of complete disdain on viewing my South African passport.

[Judge me, fine. Because I don't have an EU. But I'll be damned, since by your accent, I'm guessing you were born in Trimley, Essex.]

Anyway back to the I-can't believe-you-did-that point.

You threw away Diemers. Are you nuts? Seriously, are you nuts?

Quenching my frustrations away in the Virgin Atlantic Lounge. the bar.

On that note, I need to sort out my frequent flyer miles. Having two gerry attricks stare at me, unwaveringly, from less than a metre away, is nothing short of disturbing. I fly a lot - I need champagne. And space. ***

But chucking two bottles of the best wine in the world away? That I couldn't even re-buy at Duty Free? I had to settle for Boschendal?

Now that's disturbing.

***Do I sound like a brat? Do I? Well sorry.

PS: I'm sitting here in full view of the aeroplane on which I am about to embark. And I'm thinking, 'You check that plane. And you check it good.' I don't usually think of stuff like that, but right now, I'm thinking: don't fuck this up, Richard Branson. There are a lot of tetchy flyers relying on you tonight to get them across Africa.

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