Monday, August 17, 2009


Summer is getting its freak on. Finally.

My jones is back, and admittedly, it’s probably down to the fact that my spray-on tan that put the ‘tan’ back into tangerine. It seems to have escalated a few things.

I had a very sociable weekend. I’m wearing dresses and heels again, and we all went a bit minna minna minna mental two nights in a row.

Imagine that.

You know it’s been a good two days when:

1) You wake up to find a bunch of plastic fruit in your handbag. Nice mix too – a banana, a realistic-looking furry peach, a pear and an orange.

2) Your memory is jogged by the clearly pilfered fruit basket, and at some point in the night remembered you lunged the peach, and now it has a bite out of it.

3) And this all happened at a white trash party at Kitchener’s. Haven’t had this kind of night since Poen and I went through our soap dispenser-zyphing phase on Jolly Roger Wednesdays.

4) You spent the entire weekend with boys. Which means you’re laughing most of the time.

5) I was a tourguide to my German friend, who showed me and Dove around Berlin so nicely. So just did chilled things with him in Joburg, and tried to show him the best aspects of a city I am no longer interested in.

6) It was actually very good for me. The weather this weekend was astoundingly wonderful, so it wasn’t hard to appreciate Joburg for a change.

7) Doc had a party, which involved me and B chasing away a French guest with our blasphemous bastardisation of his language in front of him.

8) Being Beatrix from Bournemouth (she’s officially my new alter-ego – comes out after a few toots - and it’s unstoppable. Sometimes not in a good way,) and having some dude come up to me and say ‘wha’? WHA’?’ the whole night.

9) Head to Soweto with a fun bunch of chaps yesterday, wrap my chops around a juicy piece of meat and pap at Wandies, and experience an open concert in Thokoza Park – partly for the German’s sake, partly for something different to do.

My mate put bullet vests in the car. I jest it not. I thought that was a nice touch. Didn’t tell the German though, and they were jammed under the seat, so any element of surprise, like a taxi fight, and well, we’d die, but it was a nice touch.

The brothers that came with us are seriously two of the most quality people I’ve met, and so funny, I spent the afternoon in hysterics. Too much fun.

On a pistachio and water diet for the next 4 days, in hope, that I’m acceptably bikini ready for Mozambique on Friday.

But I just have to say: I’m rather chuffed with myself, on another note, of how sensible I am. In various scenarios at the moment. Maybe rationality and better judgment is one of the cooler things about getting old.


Anonymous said...

peas, you had me going for a moment, what with the banana peach and apple thang.. thought we were headed back to the dolphin and the rabbit.. :)
Then i read about Beatrix, this is where it got interesting.. would like to know more about her..
Spiky on my blogroll has Jade and Trixie, Trixie is the crazy naughty sensual one... Really cool..
And i have Steven, more than a handful of fruit!

Peas on Toast said...

Levi - I'm telling you aklter-ego's are the way to go! If anything embarrassing happens you can always blame the alter-ego, ('it wasn't me, it was Beatrix talking,').

Anonymous said...

you are so right! Steven gets blamed for all kinds of stuff.. Its like totally ridic what he gets blamed for! I dont think he is so bad.. but last week he got blamed for fvcking. someone and he was not even guitly. That is just so wrong.. Steven wants to meet Trixie an miss Bee.. Just imagine.

Secret said...

I love the part about the blasphemous rendition of french, my sister and I do it all the time.
In fact we were making ham, avo, cheese, lettuce, gherkin, tomato, cucumber and ice cream subs one morning for breakfast, so she offered me lettuce for my sub and i replied with (but you have to say it in a dirty franch aksent) "Noh, poot eet ohn yeur ohwn" - which is now accepted as a valid answer to any question.

I think I need an alter ego too, where can I buy one?

Peas on Toast said...

haha Secret! I reckon you have your alter-ego in the making right there!

Your nem should be colled....Flore. She iz from Bretagne.

All Hail said...

Peas - please tell me you did not go to Soweto and NOT do the Cooling Towers bungee swing at Orlando Power Station (as picured in today's blog)?????

Revolving Credit said...

So may we refer to you as Beatrix Pothole?..Wha?Wha?

Question, does a bullet proof vest help if someone is trying to kill you with tequila?....ooooo...just had a though, a water pistol filled with tequila...maybe one of those big pump action rifle ones...come on punk, make my day...just call me Flirty Harry...sorry, I digress.

(and manages to avoid any reference to plastic bananas)

Peas on Toast said...

All Hail - nope, no WAYS china. Lots of things don't kill me...but heights do. I'd die before even setting foot off the tower. Of a heart attack. Heights and jumping off thereof, is my version of hell on Earth.

Rev - well. With or without bullet vest, tequila could annhiliate you either way right? ;)
(Manages to bring up reference of plastic bananas by subtely and subliminally bringing up the non-reference of plastic bananas.) Cunning :)

Revolving Credit said...

Now, when you say 'wrap my chops around a juicy piece of meat'...erm...ja!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev- piants a nice picture right? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

What, pants a nice picture??

PuffTone said...

Mara you suck went to my backyard and you don't call me. Wandies is so yesterday, i would of taken you to a better "non tourist" kinda thang, German boy would of crapped his doo doo's - would of arranged a fake high jacking......roflol - just kidding - glad you had fun in my second home from home

Anonymous said...

I know where Puffski went, and the Jerry would hav skidded his lederhosen... :)

Peas on Toast said...

Pufftone - ah buggeration! I would've loved to have planned a fake hi-jacking and a local sheninigan to get the german all hyped up. Shit that would've been fun! Next time I bring a tourist into your hood, I'm calling you up!

Rev - yes :)