Was in a horrible space last night.
Not looking forward to Cape Town – obviously my grandfather is not doing so hot, but also because both sides of my family live there and I always feel a bit pulled in both directions.
This is where divorce can be the dog’s danglies. And this is why I usually leave to go backpacking somewhere over Christmas. And to see the world of course.
It’s going to be helluva stressful and will have to mentally prepare on the plane tonight. I can’t do goodbyes or even anticipate them, am going to have shove everything into the little box in the back of head, in the event I don’t get to see my grandfather again.
Have become good at grounding myself to [harsh] realities by mastering the skill of emotional disentachment. It’s taken a while, but I think I’m finally there. In all aspects of everything. I think.
Nevertheless I was on a proper downer last night, so called up a mate and had a few drinks with him. And listened to Vanilla Ice for light comic relief.
Had to get out and escape, it’s going to be a tough weekend.