What’s happened since I’ve been away. At least for the last 5 weekends.
About 8 people have got engaged.
They’re all good friends of mine. But I have to say the proximity of how close they are together/simultaneously is rather startling. I’m talking mere days of each other here.
So while I’ve been gallivanting across green hills clutching glasses of frothing Guinness, falling in love, losing pieces of clothing [and not all in a sexual way], taking about 67 trains in the space of 12 days, people have been hitching up a storm in Joziville.
I’m thrilled for all of them, as they really all are matches made in heaven.
But hell. Roll my tits in sugar, it feels like I’ve been away for a year.
My grandfather is still alive.
My house didn’t get burgled.
One does think of these things. And then my colleague put the fear of God into me, as I got off the plane this morning feeling manky and sad, saying: ‘I don’t get house cover because of that. I get it because I’m scared of fires.’
God. Another thing to worry about.
Oh and why didn’t I turn the geyser off? Floods? Gas leaks?
Tiredness makes me irrational and
Imagine how cool it would be if I could grow a ‘tache for Movember.
Perhaps not. Although pruning handlebars into shape so that by the end you look like Lord Kitchener – that would be cool.
The undercarriage to my car is still sitting willy nilly under the lesbian’s tree.
I put it there so that I could fit a suitcase into my boot. Better get the old boy fixed.
Sometime this century.
It’s nice to be reminded of thunderstorms and other electrical phenomenons.
Drizzly rain gets up your tits eventually. Although that said, I’d do anything to be there still. Sigh.
I still have a CD stuck in my [fucked] DVD player.
Why’s it still there? Come. On.I’m one of those people who thinks in some cases, if you ignore a problem it eventually goes away. Much like the light bulb in my bedroom.
Bills still arrive under my door on the day, on the hour. And yet it took 3 weeks to get something that was sent to me personally.
Fuck the post office. Basically.