Tuesday, November 03, 2009

domestic debates


My French friend - Mademoiselle - is in town again, God I love it when she's here.
Like last night. We drank a bolinger of Champagne and ate fois gras and Pro Vitas.

And then she spoke about her Fear. Mademoiselle says her one thing about getting into a relationship is the kind of chit chat longterm couples have with each other.

Not entirely true - she actually said: 'I am not going to ave ze argument wizz my partner in ze grocery store over which ozzer washing powder brand we should use. I ave seen it appen, mon dieu, just look at my parents.'

Woman: Ooh what izz zat noise?

Man: Ooh it must be four o' clock Susan, ze sprinklers come on at four o'clock.

Woman: No really? It's four o' clock already?

Man: [looks at his watch] Ah oui, it is four o'clock.

Woman: Time flies when we are aveeng fon.

Man: Are you going deaf Susan? Eet always comes on at four o'clock.

Woman: I'd better poot ze washing in ze machine.

'I'm telling you, zose are ze conversations I never wont!'

Come to think of it, all longterm couples - my parents, grandparents, even I - have been guilty of reaching into the deep trenches of domestic convo-speak.

My grandparents:

'Ah hasn't the pin-cushion protea grown so big?'

'Yes, we chatted about this yesterday.'

'Look at Mr Pickles next door, it must be the end of the month, he's taking the car out for a drive.'

Imagine when you're retired? What else do you talk about except those climatic parts of the day when it's time to turn the water feature on, or it's 5:00pm and he wants his gin and tonic, or you debate for hours on a Saturday afternoon whether it's four o'clock or four fifteen, or which cups should you use when friends come over?

What else can you do? You're retired, the kids have left home, you both don't have jobs, you spend every second of every day together, so gardening and kitchen appliances are the joy of your day?

God. I almost started sweating when writing the above, in a wild panic.
Even if bleach talk could be exciting after 8 cognacs together on the porch.

Maybe that's why old people play Bingo.

14 comments:

Champagne Heathen said...

I dream of the day when my biggest conversation topic is about my first GnT for the day. Although, I am hoping it won't be as late as 5pm.

Monkigirl said...

I hear you, I myself am afraid of the octogenarian conversation desert. But I think the whole idea is that if you have conversations like that you should've maybe split up ages ago. It also depends on the couple. For some there's a real sense of stability and comfort in the fact that you need not discuss anything more strenuous than the timing of the sprinkler system.

Mercury said...

Do I sense the purchase of a lawn mower coming up? Yeeesss!

Nessers said...

My grandparent were married for over 60 years and they never ran out of anything to say. They both ha their little clubs they were in he the Free Masons and her the Eastern Star (female version of the Masons) snd they met with friends in town daily when they went for their daily stroll together - that is the old age I want but will never hacve because of my inability to maintain a relationship with a man for more than 10 years

Peas on Toast said...

Champagne - my thing is this - why discuss it? Just pour it, and THEN let the conversation flow beyond the glassware and hour of the day :)

Monki - yip I agree, there's a certain kind of co-dependent compaionship that comes with this, I'd imagine - after 50 years of marraige and spending 24 hours together every single day, it's only going to head towards this whether we like it or not. This is why the kids should never leave home ;)

Mercury - no. I have no lawn. However I have been eyeing that heated towel rail for winter.

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - I hear you there, I find it hard to imagine that for myself as well.
It is cute, let's be honest. Simply because yours seem to have a healthy balance - what with their club responsibilities and sundry.
I find this more endearing in older people - like grandparents though - than in younger couples. Must be said.

mEeLa said...

Here's the thing tho - when you love someone with that forever kind of love, it doesn't matter what they are saying because you're compelled to watch the beauty of their lips forming the words, draw from the animation in their tone and adore the light in their eyes when they look at you to say it.

That said, if you keep up with your separate interests, you'll always have something interesting to say.

Champagne Heathen said...

Pour it? I had better not be pouring my own GnT when I am ancient! It will be served to me by some fkcing hot, naked french rugby player.

Me & My Guy can then have inane conversations about why I choose to have every GnT served in this way and whose money is this using up. If this is how I receive my daily 20 GnTs, no amount of inane conversation will trouble me.

Hmmm. I cannot say I have ever loving watched any guy form any words with his lips. Unless those words were "Time for another GnT?"

Margot said...

My guy and I have promised ourselves and each other that, when the kids leave home, we will finally start smoking again. Drinking like we're teenagers. Going on all-night jols like my father and stepmom do. Nursing hangovers with midmorning regmakers. Please god let the Alzheimers not kick in before we remember to do all these things again! ;)

Dean said...

Thanks so much for truly enhancing my already unstable fear of growing old.

Peas on Toast said...

MeEla: because you're compelled to watch the beauty of their lips forming the words, draw from the animation in their tone and adore the light in their eyes when they look at you to say it.
Seriously? 'Honey which bleach are you using?' Seriously?
Yah yah, look I get it...but it's hard to accept that all of us will go down this path one day whether we like it or not!

Champers - thank fuck for alcohol!

Margot - now THAT'S the spirit. That's what I plan to do in my 60s too! :)

Dean - no problem ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Look, seriously, I reckon if you want to keep up the conversation, then you have to get together with someone who is as willing as you are to keep growing, thinking, learning & exploring the world till you both platz & die.

As nice as it would be, not sure still getting fuck drunk is really going to keep up the conversation at the age of 80.

Ask the druggie couple on my train rides... they're anywhere from 30 to 50 & have fkc all to say to each other, let alone their kid.

Peas on Toast said...

Champage - not sure still getting fuck drunk is really going to keep up the conversation at the age of 80.

I have to disagree. What a gas?!

Margot said...

>> As nice as it would be, not sure still getting fuck drunk is really going to keep up the conversation at the age of 80.

Sorry, Champagne, but in our case it's doing that is what MAKES us do the "keep growing, thinking, learning & exploring the world till you both platz & die."

Or at least plan to! ;)