Friday, December 11, 2009

where do crane drivers pee & other questions

Some honesty hour questionsh. (Had a birthday dinner for Dove at 44 Stanley last night, and after a little bit of the vin rouge, these such set of life’s unanswered fuckisms, have come to the fore):

1) All of us are fucked up. In some form or function – whether it be our first love’s, or the dude’s that stole our sandwiches every lunchbreak, or because something truly tragic happened whilst growing up, or our father’s had a midlife crisis and moved to the Karoo (oh wait, that did happen), or we got betrayed, whatever whatever – everyone’s got - at least just shy of 30 – a little bit of baggage to hang off a keychain.

My question is – and we discussed this last night – does it ever totally go away? Maybe we deal with it and package it right and debrief and see shrinks or spend a summer in Ibiza, but do we learn? (I don’t think we really do) – but it’s up for debate of course.

2) Should we not be having more fun? Another of last night’s topics, over parmegiana and vino tinto. Like rolling friends down hills in tractor tyres. Or less extreme, doing something wild and spontaneous every so often. Some of us say, with indignation, ‘I’m crazy, like, every weekend and I’m totally spontaneous. I bought a diningroom table for the patio on my credit card.’ Or, ‘Guys I drank 6 tequilas last night.’

I’m not talking get-fucked-off-your-face crazy, I’m saying what about a random weekend in Maputo. Where the decision to go is made on Thursday afternoon. Or skinny dipping more often. Or camping in the middle of Veldskoenfontein, just because. I think we should be having more fun, or at least, I think I should.

3) Which brings me to: if everyone around just got a touch more serious – as in four walls straight-cut responsible – does this affect you? Nature versus nurture? Do we become more serious as a result? (I think yes. I haven’t fucking skinny dipped in years. In a year, pardon me.) Do people acclimatise to social generations?
To stuff that people do around us? I believe we do. We osmose into each other without even knowing it. It’s what we are accustomed to doing. Again, maybe I’m wrong.

4) I find it hard being vulnerable or even appearing it. I feel as though I’ve done and seen and experienced enough shit to make me hard, and I hate to appear anything close to vulnerable. Letting that hardness go isn’t easy. Not even ‘hardness’ – just letting people see I’m sad about something – is why I hide, be it at home or behind a smile - for example.
Another discussion of last night – there were a few – but applicable to women specifically: is it ever possible to think like a man?

5) Pride. I think that is the root of all evils, seriously. It’s what makes us hurt, it’s what makes us embarrassed, it’s our ego; it’s our ultimate downfall. Disagree?

6) Should we all have iPhones?

(I don’t know. Jury’s out. I can think of a few equally as awesome phones.)

7) You know people who listen to certain types of music – huge stereotype here, but surfers who listen to Jack Johnson for instance. Or glowstick types who do Armin van Buuren all day long. Does this shape us? The music we listen to? (Mostly. Metalheads were black, don’t they? Death is black, let’s be honest.) When we feel angry we listen to angry music – is it the chicken or is it his egg?

8) Are denim jackets still in. (More just for me, this question. My mum got me an awesome one from Dublin when they were there this month.) Should I put flair on it?


tyrone said...

Great post Peas...

It's such an interesting topic and something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

A 40-something year old commented on finding out I was going to watch The Killers: "Almost 30 and still going to rock concerts?"

Now I know this is ridiculous and he's on the other side of the spectrum but it did make me think.

I am almost 30 and I still go to a club every now and again, I still like to get off my face every now and again, I still talk shit with the mates, I would still do a spontaneous roadtrip with the mates, etc.

So what? It doesn't mean I'm lacking maturity or focus. It doesn't mean I'm not in control.

But, is there a point where we have to say, "OK, we're at an age where we need to settle down, focus on different things and become what everyone thinks a 30-year old should be."

I'm not sure. I'm thinking that maybe it needs a re-setting of goals, figuring out where I want to be in 12 months and making choices based on that and on the person I want to become?

I don't for a second believe, and I won't allow myself to become that person, that I need to suddenly become boring and not do anything that just says fuck stress, worry, what-ifs, the RIGHT decision, let's just do it because I can...

Peas on Toast said...

TYRONE - i CAN'T BELIEVE IT - "Almost 30 and still going to rock concerts?" - SERIOUSLY???

Ok I'm calming down to a panic. This stuff really gets up my goat. For one, I believe that life is TOO fucking short not to go to rock concerts/not to discover the world/not to enjhoy our lives. Who says we have to fucking refocus on new and stable things when we reach a certain age? And what is that age exactly? Are we meant to stop enjoying the things we do at 30 - essentially stop living at 30? Please say this isn't so, or else I might as well off myself right now.

There's an element to settling down and getting skullfuckingly wasted each and every weekend. Sure - I mean I won't just because the hangovers get worse and worse. But not because someone said 'jeez you really shouldn't get drunk anymore.' Or 'don't you think you should buy a new car and not be backpacking through Mexico?'
I mean COME ON. Society is a hard nut to crack, but fuck if its not pissing me off lately. What are we meant to do anyway? We're single, fun loving people - I'd say anyway - and we don't share a Multichoice contract with another half - so what else should we do with our spare time and money? The things we enjoy surely.

Anyway, I know you agree with me to some degree - we still do the things we love and what makes us appreciate this bitch of a life we're in - maybe just less frequently because we're getting old[er]. :)

Jonathan said...

Hmmm... I can tell you that crane operators pee into bottles. The golden rule (excuse the pun) is never get into an argument with a crane operator and then walk/park underneath the crane. I've seen it happen, it's not pretty.

Peas on Toast said...

Jonathan - seriously? Special bottles or just any old jerry can they find?
Thanks for the head's up - will make friends with all craners from now on :)

Ruby said...

I once saw a mother let her kid pee into a McD cup in the change rooms of a clothing store. Not pretty either.

I enjoyed your post today...

I think often people who "settle down" and become boring just switch off a certain part of their brains, so to speak becoming narrow minded. Perhaps they are spiteful in making people like yourself feel bad for the decisions you make because they are to afraid to do those things themselves. In some cases it maybe goes back to the way they grew up. If you can't grow OUT of your upbringing and be able to see it from an outside perspective and be objective about it, you will be trapped to think the way your were raised to think.

I believe that just about all of us have baggage and it depends on how much you let it come through in your day to day experiences with others. I have definitely learnt from my baggage, doesn't mean it's easy though. Easy to say this but you should try not to let it make you feel lonely and hard.

:) much love for the good post

Peas on Toast said...

Ah thanks Ruby - and some wise words there - you sound like an old soul just saying all that stuff :)

Yip I've learnt heaps from my baggage too. But do you think it has an accumulative effect?

Marc Morris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jonathan said...


Pretty much any bottle they find. I'll have to double check with the operators on site (in a very friendly manner) and get back to you :)

Anique said...

My 2C

1. I think its good to acknowledge our past hurts, ... its about forgiveness and acceptance ultimately, ... ultimately we can detach from the hurt, I have (eventually). We don't forget, that's the difference ... its ok, IMO because our past defines who we are today :)

2. I think we should always be having fun :) And, keep a sense of humour ... makes life bearable sometimes LOL

3. I hear you on other people rubbing off on us, the serious side. Its the joy for me of having a young 6 year old boy, he keeps me grounded, gives me perspective ... we run around home naked a lot (no pool) else we would skinny dip LOL

4. You might hide your vulnerability but it comes through in your blog. So, yah, ... you do show it :) Being vulnerable ... well its important to feel safe, that's not always possible publicly. Being vulnerable exposes oneself ... so, you have a public outlet your blog. I think you are doing well, hears where you give yourself more credit :)

5. Yah pride is over rated IMO.

6. I am getting rid of mine by 2011, so that answers that, for me anyway.

7. I listen to John Denver, Jonny Cash and Neil Diamond, David Kramer, ABBA, Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Mozart, Tschaikovsky, Beethoven, Bob Dylan, Buddhist Chants, Boney M and Nick Cave. That's my entire collection ... if anything shows me I should invest more in music LOL What else does it define about me?

8. I love my denim jacket LOL and still wear it :P

Peas on Toast said...

Jon - smashing :)

Anique - thanks for answering all of these! Bless - also a very good perspective you have. It's so funny you say vulnerability comes through on this blog - you have NO idea how much I hide!! ;)

But thanks so for your answers, you seem to have a very balanced head on top of your shoulders :)

Anique said...

Well its a public forum, there is NO ways you can reveal ALL, well I wouldn't ;)

My balanced head? Oh dear, will have to work on that ... I thought the John Denver CD would rectify that :P Oh well, back to the drawing board

the branch manager said...

What about the crane drivers?

Billy said...

1. Yes, we are all fucked up in some way. No doubt.

2. Yes we should and i make a point of it. Fun is under rated. That said todays hangovers a bit nasty but it was fun.

3. Nature and nurture have equal effect for me. Miserable dicks make me miserable, happy clowns make me clowny.

4. To much for brain to compute with aforementioned hangover.

5. Agree fully.

6. yes. They are awesome.

7. see point 4 above. I am however listening to hard rock. Read into that what you like.

8. Tough one, denims timeless but the jacket makes me think of Billy Ray's mullet. That said i have the style of a wheel nut.

pencil gal said...

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else ... is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peas on Toast said...

Anique - absolutely. And no balance is good!! No drawing boarsd here - you have the right mix of everything :)

branch manager - where they pee?

Billy - shame bugger! Sorry about the hangover - I have a small one, nothing like yours though by the sounds of things ;)
Thanks for answering the questions. Seriously, sometimes it's good to know other people deal with the same shite. Because most days I feel like I'm more and more on my own...

penicl - love that quote - thanks so much :)

A Woman Scorned said...

LOL, what does a crane driver do who forgets his bottle? I shall definitely look for particularly rusty spots on cranes from now on.
I'm all for spontaneity, and a good frolic and splash in the nuddies,if I got caught doing it in my eighties, do you think the pool cleaner guy would need therapy??

Margot said...

Peas. To me it sounds like you are having one hell of a lot of fun in your life! Seriously. My 2c would be, stress less about how much fun you are having because from my perspective, you're doing it! xxx


Hey I'm 42 and if I could have gone to the Killers I would have. Didn't have the cash.

I think it's hilarious that people think you're over the hill at thirty... maybe because I'm forty-two? Maybe someone at thirty considers me REALLY over the hill? hahahhahahhaa! They will be eating their thoughts when they reach that age.

I look at the elderly with new eyes now. Respect. Because I realise I'm definitely headed that way and should make the most of life :))))


Make the most of your life! Enjoy! Wear the jacket and tell everyone to piss off... ;)

Anonymous said...

Great post Peas!It really hit home!

Anonymous said...

Loved the post. I am 26 and have skinny dipped on old years eve of 2008 for the first time in very very long and cannot begin to explain how invigorating it was.

I think we get old because we forget how much pleasure and magic the smallest things in life can give us.

DelBoy said...

Great post Peas!

Life is what you make it! I'm nearly 40 and still having the time of my life! I don't think age slows you down, but having kids has definitely changed my outlook - I still WANT to go a see bands or get hammered on weekends (week nights), but I have to worry about baby-sitters and the hell of putting up with kids while suffering a hang-over.

My wife got smashed on red wine and vodka last weekend (it was her birthday) and I ended up having to work her shift the next day while the in-laws baby sat 'cos she spent the day in bed recovering!

Alexander said...

Great timing Peas...

I recently met an awesome funster and we hit it off on an adventurous note!

We’ve since had our ups and downs, and realized a few things…

Men must be a pillar of strength and always put on a brave face. NO MATTER WHAT! Keep being creative and spontaneous with your fun indulgences! Adventure is key, but just living the moment is just as important. Rock concerts are the best fun in the world. Sex keeps life interesting. Keep the sex dynamic! Keep being romantic! Keep on laughing, until it hurts!