where do crane drivers pee & other questions

Some honesty hour questionsh. (Had a birthday dinner for Dove at 44 Stanley last night, and after a little bit of the vin rouge, these such set of life’s unanswered fuckisms, have come to the fore):

1) All of us are fucked up. In some form or function – whether it be our first love’s, or the dude’s that stole our sandwiches every lunchbreak, or because something truly tragic happened whilst growing up, or our father’s had a midlife crisis and moved to the Karoo (oh wait, that did happen), or we got betrayed, whatever whatever – everyone’s got - at least just shy of 30 – a little bit of baggage to hang off a keychain.

My question is – and we discussed this last night – does it ever totally go away? Maybe we deal with it and package it right and debrief and see shrinks or spend a summer in Ibiza, but do we learn? (I don’t think we really do) – but it’s up for debate of course.

2) Should we not be having more fun? Another of last night’s topics, over parmegiana and vino tinto. Like rolling friends down hills in tractor tyres. Or less extreme, doing something wild and spontaneous every so often. Some of us say, with indignation, ‘I’m crazy, like, every weekend and I’m totally spontaneous. I bought a diningroom table for the patio on my credit card.’ Or, ‘Guys I drank 6 tequilas last night.’

I’m not talking get-fucked-off-your-face crazy, I’m saying what about a random weekend in Maputo. Where the decision to go is made on Thursday afternoon. Or skinny dipping more often. Or camping in the middle of Veldskoenfontein, just because. I think we should be having more fun, or at least, I think I should.

3) Which brings me to: if everyone around just got a touch more serious – as in four walls straight-cut responsible – does this affect you? Nature versus nurture? Do we become more serious as a result? (I think yes. I haven’t fucking skinny dipped in years. In a year, pardon me.) Do people acclimatise to social generations?
To stuff that people do around us? I believe we do. We osmose into each other without even knowing it. It’s what we are accustomed to doing. Again, maybe I’m wrong.

4) I find it hard being vulnerable or even appearing it. I feel as though I’ve done and seen and experienced enough shit to make me hard, and I hate to appear anything close to vulnerable. Letting that hardness go isn’t easy. Not even ‘hardness’ – just letting people see I’m sad about something – is why I hide, be it at home or behind a smile - for example.
Another discussion of last night – there were a few – but applicable to women specifically: is it ever possible to think like a man?

5) Pride. I think that is the root of all evils, seriously. It’s what makes us hurt, it’s what makes us embarrassed, it’s our ego; it’s our ultimate downfall. Disagree?

6) Should we all have iPhones?

(I don’t know. Jury’s out. I can think of a few equally as awesome phones.)

7) You know people who listen to certain types of music – huge stereotype here, but surfers who listen to Jack Johnson for instance. Or glowstick types who do Armin van Buuren all day long. Does this shape us? The music we listen to? (Mostly. Metalheads were black, don’t they? Death is black, let’s be honest.) When we feel angry we listen to angry music – is it the chicken or is it his egg?

8) Are denim jackets still in. (More just for me, this question. My mum got me an awesome one from Dublin when they were there this month.) Should I put flair on it?