Oh dear. Shitkicker. Why did she have to go and do that.
Peas: Oh wow, I just had the greatest bath. Ever.
Ozzie: Oi’m from a country that has seeereeous drought problems.
Peas: Er….I’m also from a country that has serious drought problems.
Ozzie: Yeah but we have water restreections.
Ozzie: You obviously don’t have water restreections.
Peas: Actually we do. In fact we have starving children everywhere and regular famines. And loadshedding. Oh and…. AIDS.
[breathe in, breathe out]
Ozzie: Notheeng. It’s just that I don’t bah-th. I shower.
Peas: Great. I bath. Everyday. I love Bath Culture.
Ozzie: Well in England, they used to bath twoice a week.
Peas: Yeah back in the 1600s.
Peas:…….. hence the term, ‘baby with the bath water,’ because they were so filthy, FYI. I like to be…clean. As strange as that may sound.
Ozzie: Roight, Just saying.
OK now I’m just annoyed. I'm being judged for bathing.
Not to be self-righteous or anything, but for GOD’s sake, now I have to feel bad about having a bloody soak?
I didn’t quite anticipate this.
‘We recycle,’ is a phrase I did anticipate, on moving in.
And unfortunately am a bit dumb at it. I tend to sometimes put the wrong shit in the wrong bin, but not for lack of trying.
First Worlder’s are just shit hot at recycling. Me? My talents lie in managing to switch off lights when I leave a room and trying not to waste expendable energy.
We recycle at work and we recycle at home. I can be a recycling whore - sure - just as long as I’m not drunk. And therefore don’t put tin foil in the compost bin, like the other day.
But my bath? This is serious. This has got under my skin. And I’m NOT going to take this lying down.