Tuesday, October 19, 2010

god bless america

Five things that will almost guaranteeably occur in America.

I lived in Colorado for a while, and now nine years later, this shit definitely hasn't changed:

You always get ice in your water. They'll top up your glass feverishly every five minutes
Try asking for water without ice. They'll call security and have you escorted out of the restaurant because they'll think you're an alien sent from Mars.

Water comes with ice. Done.

People eat fuckloads
They're rotund.

They say 'rowte', not route
But the best is 'vaze' not vase.

The roads are wide, the pavements empty
The suburban, strip mall areas of America (99% of the country), reminds me of Johannesburg. Silicone Valley is filled with take out chains, malls, auto outlets. Nobody walks, you drive. The same went for the smaller towns in Colorado.

It's fun
After three months in stoic Britain, it's been nice to be in sunny America. The yanks are ridiculously chipper. 'Hey how are you awesome thanks for asking.' Genuine or not, it's nice to be smiled at and talked to in public places.


Art Jeweller said...

American starters are like a whole meal for me. California, and especially San Francisco are simply the best. They good hearted folk there

Peas on Toast said...

Art - tell me about it! I think I've put on a kg (no jokes) for every day I've been here.

Crash diet when I'm back in England.