Monday, November 08, 2010

autumn is so nice when you don't need to leave your house

This leaf is pretty. And it is the size of my face. But behind the leaf lies rage of monolithic proportions


A Welsh colloquialism for 'so angry you lose the ability to speak.'

Run-down of commute this morning:

Get up extra early. Have an early management meeting every Monday.

It's raining outside, and there are golden leaves the size of Algeria lying on the pavement.

The rain, wind and sheer bastard elements penetrate every pore in my body as I stumble over the pavement with an umbrella that's turned inside out and freezing cold raindrops trickle down the back of my neck.

Arrive station. Two out of three ticket machines are out of order.

Stand in rain to get ticket for what feels like purgatorical amounts of precious time.

Try to get on a train. Get shoved off by Irish woman who turns around to me and barks 'Fack ahf I was on foirst!'

I tell her go and fuck herself as she pushes me off the train.

Second attempt at getting on train (wind still raging, rain everywhere, starting to feel suicidal with rage). Shoved and pushed everywhere.

So cramped is this train, that I can't move my arm to put it into my coat pocket. I also don't know where my handbag is - the strap is on my shoulder, but is pulled backwards into the throng of [hateful, Satanic] bodies around me.

Everyone hates each other. Especially the people that insist on throwing themselves into the train when there is clearly No. Available. Space. In. The. Carraige. Whatsofuckingever.

And then have the beef to scream, "Would people please move down the carraige!"

This is when I want to claw their eyes out and string them across the platform. Should I stick to the ceiling Your Highness?

Arrive at work and don't eat breakfast. Because this took me an hour and a half. And the blood sugar is at dangerously low levels.

A journey, without rain and SHIT, would take 15 minutes door-to-door. The Brit had similar problems getting to work. His train doors wouldn't open at all. So he had to push through 12 carraiges to get out.

Sigh. The real test of England is here. I want to vomit on it.


po said...

This is what happenes every time there is even a hint of weather here. Sigh. My train was delayed by half an hour today. I got to sit on the floor, but at least there was space on the floor this time! Soemtimes we are packed in like sardines. And someone always accidentally leans against the toilet door button... Frik it was cold and ugly outside today. My 20 minute walk was not fun.

Billy said...

I woke at 7, ate all bran flakes with my kid and dog and sauntered out the house at 7.45 and was in my airconditioned office by 8 after basking in the brilliant sunshine of a highveld morning. rivonia road had all its robots working a taxi driver let me in. Africa can be lovely sometimes.

Peas on Toast said...

po - it's mnad isn't it? the british Empire has bought down countries by the hundreds in its lifetime and yet....a bit of rain and everything just falls apart.

This morning was a dog show!

Billy - Bugger off. Or I might cry a little.

Peter said...

Ah, complaining about the weather, can't say I miss it much now.

The weather will still like it is until around May or so, only it gets a little darker and gloomier.

I found that cooking and eating helps through the winter time.

It is the question said...

That sounds about right.

Now try doing that holding a 2m long tube of workshop materials.

Plain stupid. Resolved that would have justified billing a cab and that is what I would do at every future opportunity. ALthough sitting in traffic watching those pounds ticking over is pretty stressful too.

Peter said...

And the news just gets better:

Spear The Almighty said...

I went to London a few times on holiday (normally on my way somewhere better)and after my first rush hour underground experience I stayed away. I normally would only leave the hotel at 9:30 and come back like at 21:30. I hat being squeezed like mushy peas in a can. :)

Kerry said...

Oh yes! Been there. Me and my brother trying to get to Kew. 500 000 000 Rugby fans trying to get to Twickenham(?). My brother gets on another carriage. The carriage in front of me is full but as my brother is already on the train, and I can't tell him I've no room, I squeeze in. I have NEVER felt such animosity. I was actually shaking.
Also recently tried rush hour tube traffic with a suitcase and backpack trying to get to Stansted. Haha!
So I totally sympathise. Poor Peas.