Thursday, January 26, 2012
hair, tea & red trousers [again]
Henri, the toff who snaps people wearing red pants.
There's this dude - Sir Henri de Pantalon Rouge - who runs a blog solely dedicated to red trouser action.
So impressed and tickled am I, I found him elsewhere too.
Now I have a pair of red pants and a pair of red tights. Apparently they're not interchangeable, and the red tights do not hold as much gravitas as the pants.
But Red Trouser Finding Machine Man - Henri Pants - did snap this. With a warning to brace yourself.
Think it's fair to say:
1) I won't be wearing my red tights ever again, in fear that I might look even 1% like this
2) This woman has to be from the Ukraine. Right?
She Who Also Loves Tweed reckons they're red jeggings. I reckon her name is Olga from Lviv, wearing the Sergey 3000s.
But my red jeans? The most amazeballs piece of attire I've ever owned. This year.
Welsh people with British-like tea instructions (Is Wales a real country?)
Welsh colleague: "It's your turn to mek a brew."
Peas: Fine. How do you take your tea?
Welsh: "Rye-te. It must be the cull-er of a tea bis-kitt. Lyk-e when you come off a tan-ning bed. Tan in cull-er.
Peas: So lots of milk?
Welsh: Nor. Well yes, but nor.
Welsh: And don't put the milk in be-forr the tea bag. It clogs up the horles.
Peas: I always put the milk in before the tea bag.
Welsh: Why is it that ornly peep-ul from the Yoo Keh can mek tea? It's such a sim-ple exer-cyze.
Peas: Dude it still brews and blends at the end of the day.
Welsh: Nor. Yer me out. Bag first, milk sec-ond. Cull-er of a tea bis-kitt.
Peas: Yer me? You mean hear me out right?
Welsh: Nor. Yer me out.
Apparently I can't make tea. Chaos and dis-acceptance prevails.
Male advice on hair - voluntarily given
The Quiet American: Dude. Isn't time to cut your hair?
Peas: And when would I have the time to do that?
Hang on, what?
Quiet American: I'm merely saying that it might be time. You know, to try something new.
Peas: I don't 'do' new hair. Are you suggesting that it's crap? And I look like a raving Socialist?
Quiet American: No. I am just suggesting that you could try something maybe a little like this.
Peas: Eva Longoria? You ralise she has a stylist that travels with her everywhere and does all that shit for her, right?
Quiet American: It's more the layering.
Quiet American: Yeah.
Peas: Right OK. You know you don't have hair right.
Quiet American: Yeah. but once someone told me to grow a beard. And I laughed in the face of facial hair for 6 months. Then I grew a beard and it changed my life.
Peas: Fair enough.
I've booked the appointment.