Pardon me, I have 'flu - a face filled with fluid, aching joints and a fuzzy brain.
Yesterday I was in my car, my compilation CDs running over, when Lonestar’s Amazed came on.
I physically cannot listen to this song. It was mine and Ex S’ song, and even though those days are long gone, it was ours for six years.
He was the first guy who actually loved me, and I suppose your first love is someone you’re always going benchmark and hope the consequent others measure up, or that you don't make the same mistakes with the next one's. Although we’ve moved on and don't ncessarily look back - I cannot listen to it. He says the same.
It’s not like it’s We're All Going On A Summer Holiday, or the upbeat equivalent of, say, Rock Around the Clock. It’s a schmaltzy, tear jerking thing. But the reason remains: the song was then, and I am now.
I think it’s because there was a time – before we started unraveling and before I removed him from my life – that I believed he was The One, and I was destined to spend the rest of my life with this person.
This wasn’t so, and I am happier for it, but there was a time when we both believed this. This song defines the past. I prefer focusing on the now, and thus, I don’t listen to it.
Consequently, another song I shared with an ex was Bob Sinclar’s Love Generation.
It was a sort-of joke, a little like the relationship.
Love Generation doesn’t evoke the same emotions.I don’t listen to it when I’m sober because it’s downright irritating, but give me a few Jaegers and I’ll jump around to it no problem.
Who knows what’s next? Or if there will be a next ‘our’ song, or if there already is one?