Monday, April 30, 2007

long weekend action

So. The long weekend started off rather well.

I saw his naked pectorals.

I went to a farewell party, and he came along too. He offered all my mates drinks. This impressed me.
Manners Maketh Man Me Horny.

The party – held at a house – ended at 6:00am. I went back to Foxy Forearm's place for a bit of innocent groping and smash it in your facing, for an hour, then retired home – quite unbelievably blotto.

I don't know much about this guy. Past his upper abdomen, that is.
My mates think he's a peach. I'm thinking I need to get a grip. I don't want to freak out and run away.

I woke up with loser's complex – not because of this, heavens no.
But because I lost one of the diamond earrings that Ex S bought me one Christmas. It's probably floating around in Forearm's bed somewhere. I left them in my ears, because, well, they're priddy. And I lost one. Maybe it's a rite of passage, what with his whole engagement and all.
I suppose now was a good time than ever to lose it.

I went to Lusitoland with Big T, Moogs and E.

I saw lots of jean pant and skank stamps - the operative being tattoos of roses inked into women's boobies. Who are over fifty years old.

There was one tattoo stall that offered various types of skank stamps - including dancing dolphins - but one particular pearler caught my eye. A Chinese symbol that literally meant, 'I am sexy.' I asked if they could make me up a 'I are sexy' one, but they took this quite personally, and not in a pleasant way.

I didn't think my outfit through. Moogs lifted up my skirt in front of a whole bunch of Portuguese people, exposing my doondies, and because I had a wedgie, my bottom.
Luckily we were tanked on cane and Fanta Grape – or “Massey Ferguson's.” Because they were out of cream soda.
John Deere's are so Saturday Night At The Colony, anyway.


I are wearing the jean pant said...

So, I see you met my family then! I are having the tattoo on my bottom: Chinese symbol for wearing the jean pant. Great interview in the Times this Sunday by the way... Love the pic:)

Peas on Toast said...

Jean pant - Thank you! I met all your cousins and chinas my dear, and the jean pants were rocking my world :)

Pete said...

Dude, Massey Ferguson's are in fact made with the Godawful raspberry stuff (Jannie verjaar koeldrank, anyone?) :)

I had cane with every flavour of Fanta, and every frikken sparletta drink this weekend. I now have about 8 favourite drinks:)

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - Sparletta right? Maybe we should call the grape concoction a David Brown??

Glad to see you're up and running on that cane train bru :)

Hot Pink Flush said...

but the rides! did you go on the rides? Everyone goes to Lusitoland and forgets to go to the funfair, which is my favourite part!

DaveRich said...

Bom Diash Peash!
Lusito was a blaaast! Went last week and drank heart burn rendering capirinhas and ate prawn cakesh and prawnsh and espetadash. Did you see the Parlotones!

Peas on Toast said...

Hot pink - so funny you asked. All my mates went on that Death Ride Swing Thing, but I'm a wuss when it comes to heights and adrenaline, so I sat back and laughed hard at their petrified faces. :)

Daverich - I didn't shee the Parlotoneshe, but I did catch a glimpshe of Denim and a whole lot of random Portugeshe danshersh. :)
Boas festas!

Lost-in-Jozi said...

You have to be very thirsty to drink cane with anything but Coke!

I will confess to mixing 12year old Martell VO with Sparberry, but I was very dronk, and very thirsty!

Peas on Toast said...

Lost in Jozi - Martell VO with Sparberry? Goodness, gracious moi...

ChewTheCud said...

The folks on stage were a right laugh. Some of those kids... Couldn't be 15 yet and dancing to "Smack That", complete with smacking it ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - too right. It smacks of father's giving their ten year olds capirhinas to drink...saw it with my own...eye.

MeeA said...

Man, I gotta get back to SA. Everything cool there has been happening since I left and I can't help feeling bitter and horrible about missing it all...
Sounds like you had a great weekend. I spent mine working again...(But this time it's because I've got a new job, and the after hours work is a temporary thing until my soon to be ex-employer releases me from my contract...)
That said, we sad sods here in the Arabian Gulf still have to punch the cards on Sunday mornings, new job or not.

Peas on Toast said...

Meea - shame my dear - working on Sundays again?

Just bear in mind Jozi is not all that right now. I'd give my right ovary to go on a holiday anywhere right now and just get out of this place.
Anywhere. Estonia, Guam...

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Nice article in the Times on Sunday. Looking forward to the book.

Billy said...

A book hey. Timings perfect. Good luck.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - :)

Billy - yip. I didn't want to talk about it so much until I at least had a jacket cover to post up here - but anyway, will do at a later stage :)