So. The long weekend started off rather well.
I saw his naked pectorals.
I went to a farewell party, and he came along too. He offered all my mates drinks. This impressed me.
Manners Maketh
The party – held at a house – ended at 6:00am. I went back to Foxy Forearm's place for a bit of innocent groping and smash it in your facing, for an hour, then retired home – quite unbelievably blotto.
I don't know much about this guy. Past his upper abdomen, that is.
My mates think he's a peach. I'm thinking I need to get a grip. I don't want to freak out and run away.
I woke up with loser's complex – not because of this, heavens no.
But because I lost one of the diamond earrings that Ex S bought me one Christmas. It's probably floating around in Forearm's bed somewhere. I left them in my ears, because, well, they're priddy. And I lost one. Maybe it's a rite of passage, what with his whole engagement and all.
I suppose now was a good time than ever to lose it.
I went to Lusitoland with Big T, Moogs and E.
I saw lots of jean pant and skank stamps - the operative being tattoos of roses inked into women's boobies. Who are over fifty years old.
There was one tattoo stall that offered various types of skank stamps - including dancing dolphins - but one particular pearler caught my eye. A Chinese symbol that literally meant, 'I am sexy.' I asked if they could make me up a 'I are sexy' one, but they took this quite personally, and not in a pleasant way.
I didn't think my outfit through. Moogs lifted up my skirt in front of a whole bunch of Portuguese people, exposing my doondies, and because I had a wedgie, my bottom.
Luckily we were tanked on cane and Fanta Grape – or “Massey Ferguson's.” Because they were out of cream soda.
John Deere's are so Saturday Night At The Colony, anyway.
17 comments:
So, I see you met my family then! I are having the tattoo on my bottom: Chinese symbol for wearing the jean pant. Great interview in the Times this Sunday by the way... Love the pic:)
Jean pant - Thank you! I met all your cousins and chinas my dear, and the jean pants were rocking my world :)
Dude, Massey Ferguson's are in fact made with the Godawful raspberry stuff (Jannie verjaar koeldrank, anyone?) :)
I had cane with every flavour of Fanta, and every frikken sparletta drink this weekend. I now have about 8 favourite drinks:)
Pete - Sparletta right? Maybe we should call the grape concoction a David Brown??
Glad to see you're up and running on that cane train bru :)
but the rides! did you go on the rides? Everyone goes to Lusitoland and forgets to go to the funfair, which is my favourite part!
Bom Diash Peash!
Lusito was a blaaast! Went last week and drank heart burn rendering capirinhas and ate prawn cakesh and prawnsh and espetadash. Did you see the Parlotones!
Hot pink - so funny you asked. All my mates went on that Death Ride Swing Thing, but I'm a wuss when it comes to heights and adrenaline, so I sat back and laughed hard at their petrified faces. :)
Daverich - I didn't shee the Parlotoneshe, but I did catch a glimpshe of Denim and a whole lot of random Portugeshe danshersh. :)
Boas festas!
You have to be very thirsty to drink cane with anything but Coke!
Sacrilige!!
I will confess to mixing 12year old Martell VO with Sparberry, but I was very dronk, and very thirsty!
Lost in Jozi - Martell VO with Sparberry? Goodness, gracious moi...
:)
The folks on stage were a right laugh. Some of those kids... Couldn't be 15 yet and dancing to "Smack That", complete with smacking it ;)
Chew - too right. It smacks of father's giving their ten year olds capirhinas to drink...saw it with my own...eye.
Man, I gotta get back to SA. Everything cool there has been happening since I left and I can't help feeling bitter and horrible about missing it all...
Sounds like you had a great weekend. I spent mine working again...(But this time it's because I've got a new job, and the after hours work is a temporary thing until my soon to be ex-employer releases me from my contract...)
That said, we sad sods here in the Arabian Gulf still have to punch the cards on Sunday mornings, new job or not.
Meea - shame my dear - working on Sundays again?
Just bear in mind Jozi is not all that right now. I'd give my right ovary to go on a holiday anywhere right now and just get out of this place.
Anywhere. Estonia, Guam...
Testing
Nice article in the Times on Sunday. Looking forward to the book.
A book hey. Timings perfect. Good luck.
Anon - :)
Billy - yip. I didn't want to talk about it so much until I at least had a jacket cover to post up here - but anyway, will do at a later stage :)
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