I had the girls over for dinner last night.
I haven't entertained in months. (Hold the phone: 'entertained?' What am I, Martha Stewart?) I haven't cooked a decent meal for myself in months, so thought I'd kick-start the process by bringing my girls over and turning Woolies bits and pieces into a masterpiece.
Over wine, we discussed a few things. Two stick out:
1)Saliva Pockets.
2)Screw cock teasers. Poen teasers are the one's we have to worry about.
We've all, in our little existences, been subjected to a fair share of face sucking.
And therefore a bit of technique.
There're the kisses where you want to drop your panties on impact, the washing machines, the death by gag.
Then there is the Saliva Pocket. The one where, you think everything is going just swell – your tongues are entwined, no kinky spit shit is happening, his tongue isn't touching your tonsils. When all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you encounter a saliva pocket. A little flush of saliva. Disconcerted, (what the fuck was that?) you carry on snogging, and then it bloody happens again. Only one person has experienced the Saliva Pocket.
Then there are the poen teasers. A man who leads you on and then doesn't put out.
Men complain about cock teasers, but poen teasing is right up there.
It's all systems go, they're charfing you, touching the small of your back, eating out of your flipping hand, and then nada. Nothing happens.
And then we spoke about sex, husbanks, and more sex. And drank a load of red vino.
Just looked out the window: OH MY ACHING OVARY - it's white outside, it snowed in Joburg last night. It snowed. It's white outside!
35 comments:
The tail-end of a saliva pocket is that schlock-noise. Washing machine backwash. Eeeeeuu!
Heddles - eeew! Have you directly experienced this, you unlucky creature?
Just an excess of saliva .... ew....
Jam - yeah :(
IT SNOWED, IT SNOWED, IT SNOWED!
Poen teasers Sounds like a mythical beast to me. Then again, it might explain the snow, at least.
The mythical beast has painted my garden white. Bless him!
Unfortunately I once did. Baaaaaaad pull. I bolted like Ace Ventura out of that cave of bats
Heddles - did you, as C4 explained to me, do your praying mantis on Doom impersonation?
I laughed my head off - fucking fantastic jingle!
Peas - unfortunately the Praying Mantis/Doom move is what caused me to come right in the first place.
Heddles - you're joking. This I have got to see. Can't you YouTube it or something?
Also, what was his spade line: "Ooh Miss Praying Mantis, your thorax is driving me crazy....pour some Doom on me..." ?
Peas, he was more speechless.
If I YouTubed it the youth of the world would be replicating my special brand and I'd stop coming right so much.
Think C4's hairflick, only MUCH better.
Classic :)
lol. saliva pockets in your face, what a disgrace, here to save the human race, that's so base, suck your face, someone's gonna spray your eyes with mace - y gray. damn that's hot.
Mike - spray my face with mace...yeah...that's so hot....wtf?
it amazes me that even some of the 30-something boys I've played tonsil tennis with lately still haven't mastered the art of a good snog. Will they ever learn? there's nothing more disappointing IMHO.
Zu - I mean, do they think thrusting a large tongue down our throats with a double serving of spit is nice?
Ha ha haaaaaa, the saliva pocket!
eugh. although actually a recent (ish) someone didn't use tongues at all, which I also found quite strange!
Chester - you relate dude? ;)
Zu - no tongue at all?? Was he giving you mouth to mouth?
It's an oral organsm! Like when you're looking at a nice sweet but its not I your mouth yet...as soon as it touches your tounge, Splash!
i'm really not sure. it was very strange!
ag,this is WONDERFUL..i have always wanted a name for 'it'..the saliva pocket is perfect..just the name..NOT the actual pocket..eww..that has caused some nasty uncomfortable situations for me..eeeeeew!
From my experience, I think that the younger guys are better at snogging, one would think that the older guys would be more experienced but seems to be they are experts in saliva pockets.
Chester - kind of like the theory that the grass is greener on the other side, eh? ;)
Zu - a lot of air...I would imagine :)
Helette - I can only imagine....eeeek
Keri - I have mixed reactions. Have had good snogs and bad snogs from both older and younger models.
But grass grows better in shit! ;-)
So you're rolling in shit now, Chester? Unlucky!
Think I lost you there Pea's???
Ches - should I call you? He he
No ou said grass grows well in shit - and the grass is greener on the other side - so I assumed you're rolling in the hay/grass on the other side.
Lame, don't stress :)
"Can I pay for everything...for the rest of your life?"
PS. I am OFFICIALLY OVER poen-teasers
C4 - fuck I love you!
And touchay, poen teasers can KISS MY WHITE, FAT ASS!
Question, is a poen-teaser anything like a pubic-hairstylist??
Rev - if only. Real poen teasers are more lethal than scissors.
dry your eyes - do you need a dummy with that?
Anon - well at least I have a name.
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