Monday, June 25, 2007

shenanigans

Between my Facebook fortune cookie saying Move on already, my horoscope saying, Although you don't believe you'll ever find someone as perfect as you, prepare for something unexpected, and my unbelievably high libido at present, I had another napover with Quadruple Napover Guy on Friday.


No, I didn't sleep with the chap – I don't just do that, and no, I'm not giving details of ac otherwise.

I was however asked by his prospective digsmate the following morning:
“So Peas, have you got POG?”
Peas: What's that?
“Post-orgasmic glow.”

Iksnay.

Other digsmate: “I'm hungry, you hungry Peas?”
Peas: Shit, I'm ravished. [pause] I mean, famished. Sorry.

Another crazy night was had at the Manhattan Club.
Let me tell you something for nothing: Everything is fine until you hit traffic, and lose everyone.
Like everyone in that place, I am single, drunk and horny. And maybe I am getting old – God I've been told enough times this week that I am, it's gotta have an affect on a girl eventually – but I can't stand being bumped the fuck around. Especially when a place is packed. Just going to the loo to take a slash there on a Friday night means one has to shimmy oneself past more drunk, horny and single people – snagging buttons and bra straps along the way.
Now I just file through people like Terry the quarterback guy. Bump into them and barge my way through snogging creatures, leaving “Bitch, you just bumped me” and “ouch ferfucksakes, you just stood on my foot, you skank” in my wake. It makes me smile.
Did flick a hoof on the dancefloor and drink tequila though, which was fun.
And on Sunday, I took a newcomer around Hillbrow to show him the real Joburg. I love playing David Attenborough of the Ghetto.

45 comments:

High in Dubai said...

Hey peas,

I'm back for a few months next week - best you save some kick a hoof nights for me... You, C and I can rugby block people all the way around the Hat!

Peas on Toast said...

Dubia - oh yay! And a few months too, that is fantastic - looking forward. :)
x

acidicice said...

Good times!

Peas on Toast said...

Acidicice - indeed :)

8Ball said...

Um, QNG is he "king" the gentleman who took you home and left your panties on the other night...or is he someone else?

Excuse my ignorance :)

Revolving Credit said...

We need to find you a fuck-buddy!!

You can go out, shag the FB stukkend and then go home to spoon with NapHead.

Mmmm....will shut up now, this blog is PG rated...*whistles quietly to himself*....

Peas on Toast said...

8Ball - it is he... :)

Rev - Do you think this would sort me out? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

A regular jolly good rogering (pun intended) will sort you.

That or taking up a hobby like stamp-licking or coconut peeling or ant-farming....

kyknoord said...

I suggest you change his name to "multiple napover guy", or if you must play the numbers game, you might want to consider 4NG > 5NG > 6NG etc. (as the level increases)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - My mate C suggested pottery classes last night. I kid you not.
Hmmmmmm....it's nice and...dirty.

Kyk - yip, I thought about that too. We'll see. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Pottery??
You'll just end up still horny with a few dozen porcelain dildos scattered all around your flat!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev: Where's the problem? I don't see any problem with that where I'm sitting!

Revolving Credit said...

You're sitting on one of them right now, aren't you!!

Peas on Toast said...

Well give me a chance - haven't started the pottery classes yet :)

boldly benny said...

*laughs* Sounds like a brilliant weekend and WOOHOO for POG ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Boldly - he he, IKSNAY. I didn't actually say I had it :)

Revolving Credit said...

Maybe you were too exhausted to say anything!!

Peas on Toast said...

Maybe we played chess all evening. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Are you sure you weren't playing draughts??

keri said...

Rev: you crack me, love the Blatant ness

Revolving Credit said...

Why, hi there Keri!Welcome!

*Mmmm....fresh meat*

Peas on Toast said...

Oohh Fresh meat!!!

Welcome to the abyss, keri.

Revolving Credit said...

Climb aboard the Keri-go-round!!

Enjoy the ride.

keri said...

I intend to :)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, still no news on Fridays podcast. Have you heard from Nic or Vince??

Was there any Flamebait or was it all just masturbate???

Peas on Toast said...

Revvie, from what I know I think it's up already? Not sure, am also looking forward to hearing it

Revolving Credit said...

Whoa, just re-read, you napped at his place, not at yours!!

So his digs mates all think/know that you're banging him. Are they buying the 'we're just spooning' line? or did the late night screaming and headboard banging give your game away??

Does that make him the new-cummer you terrorised around Hilbrow.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - you're a bright little crayon, aren't you?

NO FUCKING BANGING MKAY. But yes he was the newcomer [no sic] and yes, I slept there.

Your attention to detail is quite something. :)

Revolving Credit said...

OK, maybe no banging, probably just a bit of lick you long time.

Does help keeping the sound levels down though, probably kinda difficult moaning out loud with you mouth full!

Peas on Toast said...

OK, Cockmaster: enlighten me with a tale about the best head you've ever received. You see, I haven't done it in so long, I've almost forgotten how. So do tell.
:)

keri said...

Rev: Oh yeah do tel, kinda intrigued

Peas on Toast said...

Keri wants your sausage Rev. C'mon don't be shy.

keri said...

Lol not exactly just want to see what the bright little crayon can up with.

Revolving Credit said...

1st, r u you at work or at home?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev, are you talking to me?

I'm at work doll. Like the rest of the common man.

Now stop procrastinating.

Revolving Credit said...

I'm just trying to figure out whether the comment will result in you squirming while playing with yourself at the desk?

Peas on Toast said...

I aint playing with anything except frigging PowerPoint today, unfortunately.

Revolving Credit said...

Ya right...
Click........click.......
click...click....click...click
click..click..click..click..
click.click.click.click.
clickclickclickclick

Revolving Credit said...

I do recall doing a drive up country and cumming into the Free State.

Peas on Toast said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Now that's what I was looking for. Clever little Revvie! (Or big Rev, beg pardon.)

Revolving Credit said...

So you're looking for some cumming in the Free State.
When are you next going to the farm.
Maybe take Naphead with you.

Back to you previous statement - you haven't done it in a while, that does not prevent him from performing.


PS. I must say, it does take a fair amount of self-control and concentration not to over-REV at the critical moment, while driving!

Revolving Credit said...

Keri, you sitting there quietly and fiddling with yourself, aren't you?

Peas on Toast said...

Naughty Rev.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, put your hands back on the desk where we can see them!

and stop squirming is your seat like that!!

nettie said...

Oh you said that on purpose. That's hot.