One of the greatest movies of all time, American Beauty, is a masterpiece for many reasons. But, I can watch the following over and over x 1 000 again. It's the most fabulous movie scene, as far as I'm concerned, of it's time.
It portrays dysfunctional in such a super way. Kevin Spacey gets his groove back when he falls in love with his daughter's mate. (Mena Suvari) To which:
[Dining room scene. Wife and husband eating stiff dinner, opposite ends of table. Elevator music in background]
Enter daughter. [Thora Birch - Riddled in teenage angst] “I'm late. Sorry.”
Annette Bening: [hysterically] No, no don't worry dear! Your father and I were just discussing his day at work, why don't you tell your daughter about it, honey?
Kevin Spacey: [completely chilled] “Janie, today I quit my job.
(Wife yacks hysterically)
....then I told my boss to go fuck himself, then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars! Pass the asparagus.”
Annette Bening: Yes! Your father thinks that this is some type of behaviour to be proud of!
Kevin Spacey: And your mother seems to think that I just go through my life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a Mason jar under the sink.
Annette Bening: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her, and how I marvel that you can be so contemptuous to me on the same day that your. Lose. Your. Job.
Kevin Space: I didn't lose it. It wasn't like “whoops, where'd my job go?” I. Quit! Someone pass the asparagus please.
Annette Bening: Oh oh oh! And I want to thank you for putting me under the added pressure of being the sole bread winner now!
Kevin Spacey: I actually already have a job. (He now works at the local MacDonald's or thereabouts, flipping burgers)
Annette Bening: [screeching] No, no, no. Don't give a second thought over whose going to pay the mortgage, just leave it all up to Carolyn! You gonna take care of evvvverything now Carolyn? Yes, I don't mind, I really don't. You mean evvvvverything, you don't mind having the sole responsibility of evvverything? Your husband just feels like he can just quit his job and...
Kevin Spacey: Will someone please pass me the fucking asparagus?
Daughter: I'm not going to be a part of this.
Kevin Spacey: SIT DOWN.
(Stalks over to other side of the table and picks up the platter of asparagus.)
Kevin Spacey: I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you wanna do whenever you wanna do it and I don't complain. All I want is...
Annette Bening: [going mental] Oh you don't complain? Oh please, excuse me excuse me I must be psychotic then, if you don't complain what is this? Oh you don't complain...
(Kevin Spacey stands up, faces asparagus platter towards the wall and hurls it. It smashes. Deathly silence.)
[Pause...background elevator music]
Kevin Spacey: Don't Interrupt Me. Honey.
(Sits down with a smile. And tucks in)
Kevin Spacey:....And another thing. From now on we are going to alter our dinner music, because frankly – and I don't think I'm alone here – I'm really tired of this Lawrence Wilkes shit.
PS: Mr 747 comes home tomorrow.
PPS: Izzie and George are really starting to irritate me in Grey's. Forfucksakes Izzie. You used to be my favourite. But this whole pavement-special-puppy-dog eyes thing mixed with adulterous guilt and endless other emotional angst, is wearing thin. George, you're also being an idiot. Grow up both of you and move the fuck on.
27 comments:
Hey Peas,
As usual good post, also good movie - my favourite scene is the one where he films that little plastic bag. I suppose you can find beauty in the oddest things, that is something I am striving to do in everyday life!
On another note. Izie used to be my fave too until all this drama - they are both acting like teens!
it's "quit", you wrote "quite" twice so don't think it's a typo, lol ok quickly change it and delete this comment so no one sees :)
Dubai - ah yes, the plastic bag. Loved that too.
Another goodie is when Annette Bening starts banging the other realtor guy - "Bobby King" or whatever his name is. And in the throes of passion she screams, "Fuck me, your majesty!" legs in the air...
Anon - ha ha, why thank you! :) I won't delete this comment, but will check the post, thanks :)
stanley kubrik's full metal jacket opening scene - sorry for the length but it's gotta be one of the greatest of all time.
HARTMAN
I am Gunnery Sergeant
Hartman, your Senior
Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak
only when spoken to, and the first and last
words out of your filthy
sewers will be "Sir!"
Do you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't hear you. Sound off like you
got a
pair.
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive
recruit
training ... you will be a weapon, you
will be a minister of death,
praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the
lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even
human f*cking beings!
You are nothing but
unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian
sh!t!
Because I am hard, you will not like me. But
the more
you hate me, the more you will
learn. I am hard, but I am fair!
There is no
racial bigotry here! I do not look down on
n!ggers,
kikes, wops or greasers. Here you
are all equally worthless! And my
orders are
to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack
the gear
to serve in my beloved Corps! Do
you maggots understand that?
RECRUITS
(in unison)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't hear you!
RECRUITS
(louder)
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a
black recruit,
Private SNOWBALL.
HARTMAN
What's your
name, scumbag?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir,
Private Brown, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! From now on
you're Private
Snowball! Do you like that name?
SNOWBALL
(shouting)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, there's one thing that you won't like,
Private Snowball! They
don't serve fried
chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in
my
mess hall!
SNOWBALL
Sir, yes, sir!
JOKER
(whispering)
Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
HARTMAN
Who said that? Who the f*ck said that? Who's
the slimy
little communist sh!t twinkle-toed
c*cksucker down here, who just
signed his
own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy
f*cking
godmother said it! Out-f*cking-
standing! I will P.T. you all until
you f*cking
die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are
sucking
buttermilk.
Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt.
HARTMAN
Was it you, you scroungy little f*ck, huh?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
You little piece of
sh!t! You look like a f*cking
worm! I'll bet it was you!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
JOKER
Sir, I said it, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.
HARTMAN
Well ...
no sh!t. What have we got here, a
f*cking comedian? Private Joker? I
admire
your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come
over to my
house and f*ck my sister.
Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the
stomach.
JOKER sags to his knees.
HARTMAN
You little
scumbag! I've got your name! I've
got your ass! You will not laugh!
You will not
cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will
teach
you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You
had best unf*ck yourself or I
will unscrew
your head and sh!t down your neck!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Private Joker, why did you join
my beloved
Corps?
JOKER
Sir, to kill, sir!
HARTMAN
So you're a killer!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Let me see your war face!
JOKER
Sir?
HARTMAN
You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a
war face.
Now let me see your war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! You didn't convince me! Let me see
your real
war face!
JOKER
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
HARTMAN
You didn't scare me! Work on it!
JOKER
Sir, yes, sir!
Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face.
HARTMAN
What's your excuse?
COWBOY
Sir, excuse for
what, sir?
HARTMAN
I'm asking the f*cking questions
here,
Private. Do you understand?!
COWBOY
Sir,
yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in
charge
for a while?
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir, I am, sir!
HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir!
HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to
call me an
asshole?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY
Sir,
five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't
know they stacked sh!t
that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in
on
me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! It looks to me like the best part of
you ran
down the crack of your mama's ass
and ended up as a brown stain on
the
mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
Holy dogsh!t! Texas! Only
steers and queers
come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
don't look much like a steer to me, so that
kinda narrows it down!
Do you suck d!cks!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY
Sir, no,
sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would
f*ck
a person in the ass and not even have the
goddam common
courtesy to give him a reach-
around! I'll be watching you!
Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another
recruit, a tall,
overtweight boy.
HARTMAN
Did your parents have any
children that lived?
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you
could be
a modern art masterpiece! What's
your name, fatbody?
PYLE
Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
HARTMAN
Lawrence?
Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
That name sounds like royalty! Are you
royalty?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Do you suck d!cks?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I'll bet you
could suck a golf ball
through a garden hose!
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I don't like the name Lawrence!
Only faggots
and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on
you're Gomer Pyle!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
PYLE has the
trace of a strange smile on his face.
HARTMAN
Do you
think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you
think I'm funny?
PYLE
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Then wipe that
disgusting grin off your face!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well, any f*cking time, sweetheart!
PYLE
Sir, I'm trying, sir.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, I'm gonna
give you three
seconds--excactly three f*cking seconds--to
wipe
that stupid-looking grin off your face, or
I will gouge out your
eyeballs and skull-f*ck
you! One! Two! Three!
PYLE purses his
lips but continues to smile
involuntarily.
PYLE
Sir,
I can't help it, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! Get on your
knees, scumbag!
PYLE gets down on his FEnees.
HARTMAN
Now choke yourself!
PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to
choke himself.
HARTMAN
Goddamn it, with my hand,
numbnuts!!
PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks
it away.
HARTMAN
Don't pull my f*cking hand over there! I said
choke
yourself! Now lean forward and choke
yourself!
PYLE leans forward
so that his neck rests in
HARTMAN's open hand.
HARTMAN chokes PYLE.
PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.
HARTMAN
Are you through grinning?
PYLE
(barely able to
speak)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I can't
hear you!
PYLE
(gasping)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Bullsh!t! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike
you got
a pair!
PYLE
(gagging)
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
That's enough! Get on your feet!
HARTMAN releases PYLE's
throat. PYLE gets to his feet,
breathing heavily.
HARTMAN
Private Pyle, you had best square your ass
away and start sh!tting
me Tiffany cuff links
... or I will definitely f*ck you up!
PYLE
Sir, yes, sir!
Anon - yowza!
But classic, I agree. Thanks dude :)
What do y’all mean that Izzie is only getting annoying now?? That particular Grey’s character has been grating on my tits even before she nixed her fiancé. Closely followed by Meredith with her weird mouth movements and George with his Hugh-Grantesque dithering!
An honorary mention goes out to the plastic bag in American Beauty, I loved how it was bobbing about in the background of most screens – so arb that it could only be dubbed art!
Vimbai - yeah, maybe I was delusional for a while - I mean, Izzie is beautiful - but she and George at the moment, are driving me frikking bananas. Seriously - transfer to Mercy West George. And Izzie, get back together with Alex. He's way better.
In fact, they're all annoying me all of a sardine. They're becoming a little...predictable? I don't even have PMS. Hmmm.
Maybe its time you guys find something else to watch?
Morning all!
I used to watch Grey's...but i haven't watched in a while....simply because I've had enough...its predictable, and has become boring
Storm - but what?? Over 100 channels and nothing to watch on the box! (Or nothing set in stone between 7:30 and 8:30 on Monday anyway)
Ruby - it has become a little ridiculous, but I daresay I still switch my phone off and sit glued to the screen on Monday evenings.
lol...i have a friend like that! She's quite hillarious actually!
She sits in front of the telly and complains the whole way through about how boring and silly it is....but don't you dare bother her while she's watching....you won't live to face the consequences
Ruby - I like your friend! :)
Grey's only gets worse, i sorta cheated and got the rest of Season 3 and all the new ones of Season 4...lets just say, there will be no Season 5 the way the plot is moving.
Hopeful contenders to replace Grey's in my heart: Addison's new show "Private Practice"
Staple Favourite: Heroes...enuff said.
Love the movie too.
And yes, Izzie and George must just get the hell on with it. They have me googling synopses of Grey's in frustration...
Vimbai - I won't cheat, it's my favourite part of Monday :)
Let's just hope Desperate Housewives comes back on lickedy splick.
Jam - for sure! I'm needing a cuppa coffee. Badly. You upstairs dollface?
Just what is it with women and Grey's Anatomy? I don't get it, but all my female friends (who I generally respect intellectually most of the time) love it love it love it. Isn't it just Dawson's Creek in a hospital?
Confused
Craighall Park
PS. Gregory House, MD is the Lord.
Cool soundtrack tho.
fush 'n chips - it's tough to tell. It's a soap opera, so that's probably why. :)
And I agree with you - House for President! Love that oke. Love him, wanna marry him. Sometimes. :)
Thursday - T.Billing = Crap!
Monday - Gray's = annoying!
At this rate I am going to have to start watching Idols
OrdinaryLife - indeed. Where have all the good shows gone? Don't get me started on Idols.
Will Adriette win? Probably. Will she make a career out of it, or will she, like the other small-town winners, sink into nothingness?
Also, can Colin Fuckface Moss drag the whole elimination process out for 30 minutes? I switch it on at 25 minutes past to see whose out and whose not.
I tried watching it once, but now just ask someone at work in the morning!
i'm not an avid Idols watcher....i think i've watched the show on a sunday maybe about twice....if they are lucky. I really really hope Andriette does not win!!! both time i've watched she really really sucked in comparison....you can't afford to suck if you're in the top bloody 10!!!!!!!and yes, i do realise we are long past being 10 contestants, all i'm saying is that after that point, no more mediocre!
I'm a bit of a muso myself.....and i can honestly say that none of the idols i've seen as yet on this years show has impressed me....at all!!!!
if you weren't such a snob you could've uplifted yourself with a dose of The Biggest Loser instead of George and Izzie.
p.s. no one has even mentioned meredith and her nails on a chalkboard voice. its reminiscent of a young neve campbell
OrdinaryLife - excellent plan :)
Ruby - yeah, I fear the talent wasn't as good as the last Idols...or Idols before that...perhaps they've saturated.
3RM - You watched it again last night, didn't you?
nope. i was at the movies but i'm just saying if grey's is that annoying why not try slumming it with us non-DSTV types?
3RM - no, it's not THAT annoying dude. There's no way in hell I'm gonna stop watching, and a lesser way in hell that I'll switch it for The Big Loser.
Pigs will fly before then, china. :)
Post a Comment