I hate these things. They're never accurate. Let's be honest. If they were even fractionally truthful, they'd look more like this:
Spreadsheet
Peas On Toast
Timesheet
Monday 19 November
Facebook time...................10 minutes......[every two hours].
Playing Escapa!, obsessively trying to beat my own time.............10 minutes
Taking milk out of fridge, putting it back. Taking coffee out cupboard, dispensing in cup, waiting for kettle to boil, stirring idly, drinking...............15 minutes
Checking emails and sending witty messages to friends and boyfriend ...............all day
Organising a Kitsch Karaoke Christmas Party at my house .................5 minutes
Chatting on Skype to Doc overseas over possible trip to India next year ......................5 minutes
Attending to the lavatory and checking new hair in mirror and deciding if I really like it or not....................... 5 minutes
Barking orders down telephone receivers.....................all day long
Gunning for Nazi Office Bitch Award.........................all day long
Admin emails to writers to get their shit together................all day long
Deleting 64 spam emails about penis enlargement and free master's degrees ..............2 minutes in total
Looking through a friend's sister's wedding pictures .....................10 minutes
Writing a column..........................1.5 hours
Taking the lift up and down the building (breakdowns pending) ..................10 minutes
Looking up from computer to talk, bitch, moan, stare at ceiling when concentrating ....................3 hours in total
Dreaming about white, sandy beaches and crates of Pina Colada .............every five seconds
Editing more stuff.................... 2 hours
Writing more stuff.....................3 hours
Administering more stuff...................all day long
Filling in this actual time sheet...................30 minutes
PS: I made a good decision two years ago. It was sealed in cement, yesterday. I feel better.
PPS: Mr 747 is going to the Kok of Bang tomorrow for a week of “work.” Work, my ass – I don't think he realises the phrase 'Red Light District' means “crazy-as-fuck-sexual-fetish-suburb.” Amsterdam has nothing on this. He should remember (a gentle reminder, of course), that the women there aren't often women. Ladyboys are deceptive like that. I may not be able to shoot darts from my nethers, but I do have a bona fide set of genitalia.
Man, he's lucky.
32 comments:
*weep*
thank you!
i have the same problem every week with filling in timesheets!
:)
Shame dear - I don't have to do it that often. I reckon if you have to do this regularly, put in the time it took to fill it out in total. Definitely!
we have to do the same thing...since we have to bill clients and i have to complete the hours for my articles. Lucky for me there is a zone called..."General - Non-billable" No client has to suffer due to my lack of effectiveness on a monday...except when i'm actually at a client...eish!
argh!!!! peasy...you sent that aweful parktown prawn to my pad didn't you???? good thing it didn't actually get in...it was sitting at the other side of the glass door staring at me...yuck!
man. that sounds suspiciously like my day... only with less grinding of teeth over boss' condescension and "witticisms".
Ruby - yeah, I wouldn't cope if I had to this all the time...spreadsheets are just not my bag, baby. :)
Storm - oh man, it was staring at you? That's pretty unnerving - and don't forget to put a towel under the door!
Bete - your boss it witty?
So, according to your time sheet, you don't actually spend any time blogging?
Revvie - no one said time sheets were actually truthful or accurate right?
;)
I want your job ;)
..no. not at all. that doesn't stop them, however.
Chews - I'm not sure you do. You may not believe this, but the stress factor is high!
:)
Ping Pong on Pat Phong Road, yeehaa!
Highly worth while for Mr747 to view some viganal launching...saw a trout swimming 'up-river' there once, highly memorable!
PS. Invite to Kararraroke expected!
Ches - you here in December right? You'll definitely be coming then! :)
I often wonder if I spend more time playing silly buggers at work than actually doing any work ... Would be an interesting experiment, one in which itself would prove the answer to the question ;)
Miss M - well truthfully, I reckon we work harder than we give ourselves credit for. :)
I kid you not....STARING!!!! it was bloody scary and oh so gross!!! I couldn't go to sleep!!!!
Good thing i have a large glass sliding door....no stuffing under door required. I hope the big turkish dog finds it today! and gets rid of it in the most violent of ways!
Storm - yeah, a Turk will sort him out. Especially a Turkish dog - what dog are we talking here?
I think so too, I haven't really taken a proper lunch break in ages! Mine consists of eating my lunch at my desk, catching up on my celeb gossip for 15 mins and then going back to work.
I think I might start claiming that hour back!
boerboel
but an even more vicious than normal one! its a freaking killer dog
Boerbulls, love those guys. With their squashed in noses and very drolly disposition. They're gorgeous!
i'm with Miss M. I think i might actually start claiming my lunch hour back. I hardly ever take lunch, work through lunch, work until 8 at night...simply because of stupid deadlines...hmmmmmmmm. I think i'll put in a claim for over time!
No, but seriously peasy...this dog is terrible. She practicly kills everyone that comes in there! She's eventually gotten used to me...but she's very very scary! i don't you'll like her
Rub - oh absolutely - what's a lunch break? Haven't had one of those in months! It would be rather strange to wedge one into my day. Also people quickly forget about working before and after hours too...
Storm - She sounds scary, but even so, I'm a dog lover even when they try and bite my hand off. Love dogs, miss dogs, want a dog, but can't have one! :(
The quickest path to "Nazi Office Bitch" Award is to ban your employees from Facebook. Our boss lost major points when he sat us down for the "FB during Work Hours" chat. It has greatly revived my blogging time though.
People still take lunch breaks?? How Twenthieth Century of them!
they blocked facebook here too:-( but only after my first year decided it would be a good idea to download 10gigs of nonsense in 2 days...idiot!
OK, so what was the 2 year old decision??
Champagne - problem is my boss and I both use FB. So really, it would be counterproductive.
But barking out orders seems to be doing the trick.
Rev - something about baking cookies for the last and final time :)
What are you trying to say??
That you have a bun in the oven?
Definitely no buns in this oven.
And possibly won't be forever and ever!
:)
No cookie, no cookie monster!
so how did we get from cookies to buns in the oven?
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