Wednesday, December 10, 2008

creme brulee

I woke up this morning, to find a goddamn man in my goddamn bed.

Cogida y mierda.

He helped me write this post this morning. After a really amazing dinner of truffles and chicken pie at Thomas Maxwell's restaurant, as I stared into his blue eyes. Or were they brown. Fuck, I don't care, they were eyes.

Kidding. Seriously.
We sat up and drank the rest of our corked wine on my balcony before the thunderstorm.

He's really rather lovely. I got a compass as part of my Christmas present. Not a bad present considering I have absolutely no sense of direction. I think I'll use it in Sandton City for starters.

Learnt a couple of choice phrases for Argentina:
¿Qué lo hizo la cogida yo beba anoche? What the fuck did I drink last night?

Enséñeme a la salsa en este contador de la barra. Teach me salsa on this bar counter

¿Hizo el soporte del Evita aquí? Did Evita stand here?

¿Hágale los latinos como música del techno Do you Latinos like techno music?

Qué usted significan '¿demuéstreme sus bragas?' What do you mean 'Show me your panties?'

¿Este chile picante va a hacer que mi asno lastima mañana? Is this spicy chili going to make my ass hurt tomorrow?

¿Usted las grietas usa los speedos en la playa o no? Do you chaps wear speedos on the beach or no?

No haga grito de t para mí, la Argentina. Don't cry for me, Argentina..

As Manuel says in Fawlty Towers: I learnt it from a boooook.

46 comments:

Shadow said...

It appears to be all about timing.
Wait until she writes a blog about sexercise. THEN ask her out on a date.

Peas on Toast said...

Shadow - what if this is perhaps the third or so date I've been on? Or maybe...the five millionth? ;)

tyrone said...

NICE! Peas got a little booty!

Peas on Toast said...

tyrone - :) :)

Paula said...

LOL. I like the translations; there are a few I could use. :D

Peas on Toast said...

Paula - they're way better than the usual 'what time does this train leave' and the overused 'How much is this piece of fruit' etc etc, dontach reckon? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

'How much is this piece of fruit'

So I take it that that you too like a bit of over ripe fruit?

So how was the date?
Did you get to play some pool?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - no I like my fruit before the sell-by date thanks Revsicle.
:)

Was that you yesterday - the Bluetooth/OffPeak/Cellphone guy playing dress up? ;)

Shadow said...

Even if it was the 3rd date. Same still applies.
Men only go on dates if there is a chance of getting some action.
That's why knowing the girl's blog page is great. At least you get a heads-up... (no pun intended). Rather schedule the date for the day after the sexpectations post than the day after the PMS-Kill-Everyone post.

Revolving Credit said...

Ja, was blogging from my cellphone which doesn't seems to like logging into blogger.

So I see you worked on extending your list of sexual injuries.

Gotta love the way you over planned this napover, to the point of using the Dove the previous night as a dry run.

Do didn't make him sleep on the floor, did you?

Peas on Toast said...

Shadow - and what about women who go on dates only because they know there is a chance of action? Why can't women be steroetyped as action seekers either?

Not that this applies to to this situation, but seriously: some women also go on dates to just get a bit of ac on the side. I'm just saying.

Rev - hahaha, and tonight I'm going to get Poen to sleep over. It's all part of a grand plan! :)

Revolving Credit said...

I'm not sure what wine you drank but I suspect it's not that spicy chili that made you ass fine sore this morning!

Shadow said...

Well, logic suggests that they are out there, and that they are just as superficial as men. But there are not a lot of them out there. If you are like that then you are quite the catch - and release.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, I'm getting back into bed. I see I've surpassed my usual bad spelling by just mistyping/substituting entire words...ggrrrr

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - no, my ass is feeling just fine this morning thanks!

Shadow - yawn, I need more coffee. We could talk about why men can do what the fuck they like and why you think women can't, all day long if you like. You sound like quite a catch yourself - are women allowed to vote in your world? You don't honestly have a clue who I am, or what I stand for. And that suits me fine. I'd rather it remain that way.

Jam said...

Finallllllyyyyy............
XXXXXXXX!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam hahahaha, WHA EVAH :)
How you doing my little peach?

Shadow said...

he-he, just so easy to get women upset on the subject.

The stereotype was created by the religious leaders to keep women subservient through the ages. Too keep the masses in check. Work hard and don't question ANYTHING. And just remember to keep filling our coffers with your 10% or you'll burn in hell.

What I actually do believe is that people are too easily upset about things that will never affect their lives.
Everyone can do what they feel is right as long as it does not negatively affect anyone else.

And no women are not allowed to vote in my world. It's my world after all. Just as I don't give a rat's ass what they do in their's. Except for what my daughter does one day. I'll have a very big say (backed-up by this shotgun) about what the fuck she does on her nights out. Luckily news travels fast, you only shoot the first boyfriend.

Peas on Toast said...

Shadow - hey, my dad threatened to shoot my first boyfriend too. And it wasn't an empty threat. Yip, us burning bra'd bitches do get ratteled when the partriarch looks down on what they ;'supposedly' do.

I'm just tired, and I need more coffee. Sufragette talk takes energy, something I don't have at this moment. What after my BIG night :)

tyrone said...

Big

Shadow said...

It's not the patriarch that was scary. It was the stoning by the masses. Fear is the best motivator.
Loved the tests for witchcraft that they came up with.

Glad you got some. I didn't. Was up till after 2 debating this very subject. Women rights and religion.
Being subservient to the head of the household.
Luckily all that is changing. Hopefully religion won't last much longer in it current form. I don't get stoned anymore for saying I'm an atheist.
Most people these days are not 'religious' anymore anyway they are more Deist. And they're not afraid to admit it.

Peas on Toast said...

Shadow, so we're onto religion now. Shitters, exhausting.

I'd think you shouldn't get stoned for saying you're an atheist, as much as women should no longer have to be subservient to the 'man' of the house.

Are you studying or something (the reason you're up at 2am?)

Shadow said...

No it was just an interesting topic that came up among friends sitting around the fire. (yes it can still happen after a couple of beers).

Peas on Toast said...

Ah. Now it makes sense. Religion, politics and gender affairs around a fire on a couple of beers. How unusual :)

Were there any fists flying about??

Shadow said...

Nope, more than half the participants were female.
How's that...

Revolving Credit said...

Do atheists get stoned more often?

If you're an atheist, do you get a discount on weed?

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah Shadow, share the atheist lovvvve dude :)

Peas on Toast said...

Shadow - and you weren't lynched by the female company you were in? ;)

Shadow said...

Rev - Not as much as weed like ...

Shadow said...

Peas - Not as much as I'd like ...

Revolving Credit said...

If you BELIEVE in getting stoned, are you still an atheist?

icepick said...

This blogs' entire theme is all wrong. Peas should be giving us raunchy, one-nighter, sex advise.. stoned!!

Or we can just believe in hot milk?...

Peas on Toast said...

Icepick - can I suggest a flokati rug to add to the repertoire? ;)

tyrone said...

Peas you raise a good question... How is that rug when you play pool?

You've been wanting to know for soooooo long that I've been tempted to offer to try it for you!

So tell us, tell us, tell us!

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - I'm saving the rug for a raint rainy day :) Until then, I suggest you buy one for yourself - it can only be a good thing, right? ;)

tyrone said...

Right! But gotta have someone to share it with first!

icepick said...

Fa sure! The dirtier, the better Peas.

Revolving Credit said...

You guys trying to get her to spill the peas?

icepick said...

I hope that pic above is not implying that "the deed" was elegantly done.. ??!! Godam. Was it some kinda science experiment?

icepick said...

Peas passionately dusting her hands off, whilst verbally uttering in a lady-like, yet dominating tone, "All in a days work"...

tyrone said...

Science can be a WHOLE lot of fun!

Peas on Toast said...

* peas quietly looking in and giggling quietly to herself *
:)

joe said...

Wow - lots of comments today... I'm a bit late. I think you'll find: "no llores por mi argentina" is better to use for "Don't cry for me Argentina" :-)

It's important! lol

kyknoord said...

So can you sing La Cucaracha yet?

Peas on Toast said...

Ooh Joe thanks so much! That Babelfish has been telling me LIES! :)

Kyk - no, but I do a sterling misrepresentation of Besame Mucho.
;)

Anonymous said...

che what phrase book did you use??? because all those argentine expressions are wrong!! - even the ones trying to be lunfardo - che! un quilombo total!!! en serio!! fijate antes de hablar o te van a tomar por un pichon/flor de garca!!

from an ex ex-pat from buenos aires

michelle the brit eeee