ch[emo]

So I wept big buckets of tears yesterday.

The one reason was that it was highly overdue – I’m missing the Brit, I’m not loving or am the slightest bit interested in Johannesburg at the moment, I’m missing The Dove and Poen – and just general tearduct maintenance was in order.

We’ve got the same Lonely Planets so we can whoreganise our trip to Mexico by at least being able to turn to the same pages at the same time. Ridiculous.

Then the fact that my box of ten series Friends finally finished today.
Which I’ve systematically been going through, one DVD, one episode at a time.

I hit that up in Winter and it’s taken five months of weekly watching and now it’s over.
In a flurry of tears (The Ross and Rachel scene is a real knee slapper), and realised – fuck, it’s over. I’m a hermit, what the FUCK am I going to watch now?

Hermits need adequate viewing material, or they die. Basically.

And when you start having dreams whereby Chandler does a walk-by in your dream, you gotta wonder whether you’re part of the Emo fraternity, only just without a purple Johnny Bravo fringe and the attire.

Fuck.

My credit card has reached its limit until next payday, and yet I went onto Kalahari and got Seasons 1 & 2 of Californication in a mad panic.

Then in tears went over to see Brian and my brother friend and drilled him about what it takes to be a hermit and am I fucked basically.

Peas: Have you ever been one?

Mate: Sure.

Peas: Why?

Mate: Had shitloads of graft.

Peas: OK, I don’t, but I should be doing stuff like going to the gym, seeing people, writing my next book.

Mate: It’ll pass.

Peas: I think I am beyond. I don’t feel like I have anything in common with some of my oldest mates.

Mate: That happens to everyone at some stage in life.

Peas: I’m super selective at whom I see and when. Surely I should be socializing more? Instead, unless it’s highly suitable, I tend to prefer being alone. This has NEVER been me. I wrote a book four years ago, and people tend to think I am still that person when we couldn’t be more different.
It’s been a 180 change or transformation over a year now. I’m not sure I like it.

Mate: It’s the stage of our lives, we’re all getting older and doing less shit.

Peas: Yeah. Maybe.

Losing touch with friends that don’t relate to my life and I don’t relate to theirs isn’t what I had planned. But it just seems to have happened. I feel guilty about this, should I? Am I a bad person?

I’m not talking about my nearest and dearest, but those I used to see regularly. It’s like we’ve all let go. Is this bad? Will we find each other on the same path sometime in the future again I wonder?

Thank God it's the week again. Where I can contribute to society.