liza minelli

It’s been a while since I actually watched TV.
Like properly, watched the tube.

I bought a shitload of DVDs, spent 6 months watching them, and now am firmly back watching the Liza.

The Liza Minelli. The telly.

Still the same shit, just a different season.

Reality TV has got way uglier – fake is the new real. People are now going on fake reality shows that they think are real.
Nice twist.

I’m waiting for the series where the real reality show is staged as a fake but is actually real.

Shame man, and these people get quite worked up. I mean, like last night this woman on Reality Hell nearly had an embolism. These producers have Berlin Walls. Balls.

The Hudsons swapped wives with the [fake] Fontaine’s, and she got quite distraught about the ‘[fake] adopted Japanese kid they were keeping in an outhouse outside.

I was about to cascade into a sea of despair – anything sets me off these days – when I found Harold & Kumar The Second One. Thank God.

I mean yesterday was awesome; the dog’s danglies. I got a head massage on the edge of a river for God’s sake – and the lady drizzled enough Grapeseed Oil into my scalp to fry an egg on my pip. My colleague who has shaped his head, sat there like Buddha and looked like a gleaming firefly after she oiled his.

But all I wanted to do was watch live TV. Am over juggling my MacBook on my lap, because the farking DVD player had a fight with my cake knife because it decided to fuck off and die.

I need to invest in technology again. My camera still takes penlight batteries that die every 5 seconds, my TV is about 8000 years old, and my DVD player looks like it ate itself. My iPod holds 800 songs and it’s the size of a brick.

I own a VCR. Because I have videos that can’t be replaced, footage-wise.

How embarrassing. What should I buy first?